Chapter 8

Writing this glimpse into my sexual past has allowed me to better understand the sexual dynamics at the heart of my home life. It's also helped me come to terms with my love of exposure. The more I look back, the more I truly understand that my love of being unclothed as well as my overactive libido were manifested themselves very early, certainly from the onset of puberty, onward. As I sit here reminiscing about my erotic odyssey, a flood of memories is charging to the forefront of consciousness. While I don't wish to drift too far from the focus of this narrative - the erotic dynamics of exhibitionism and nudity in my everyday home life and the influence of same by and on my mother and my girlfriend, I would like to share at least one peripheral memory with you. I do so because it underscores the fact that the impulses that manifested themselves in my main story were already affecting me at an early age.

I've always been thrilled by simply being nude, but I guess there has always been that extra element that made my nudity seem more enticing when I was also exposing myself to others. For example, I remember as a kid of eleven and twelve and then even older, having a male cousin sleep over from time to time. I was a compulsive nudist in my room during the evenings, and even with my cousin around, I didn't make an exception. Mind you, I was not and am not gay, but it's now clear to me, that even as a kid, I got a charge out of being stark naked in front of somebody else.

The first couple of times my cousin slept over one summer, I waited until we were going to hit the sack to strip, but as he spent more and more nights over, I started stripping earlier and earlier. After awhile, I was totally naked in front of him from the early evening until the time we left my room the next morning. If I had to make a bathroom run during the night, I'd make it just that: a run to the bathroom, still nude. We both got a laugh out of my daredevil antics.

Then, in the wee hours, we also made forays into the kitchen for more snacks. I remember making the kitchen trips in the nude too, and getting excited at the prospect of getting caught, at being nude in front of my cousin, at the whole element surrounding the idea of being totally nude in front of somebody else.

As we both got a bit older, I showed my cousin some PLAYBOYS that I kept hidden. We'd thumb through them and I saw his pajamas tent up. I, on the other hand, had no clothes to tent. My rock-hard erection was in full-view, bobbing and throbbing with my excitement.

The older I got, the less hesitant I was to stroke away at my hard-ons, even in his presence. He was younger by several years, and he was amazed at my passion for masturbation (my hormones kicked into full-throttle at an early age and I very quickly grew addicted to stroking off. Remember the endless feelings of hyper-sensation and "dry cums"? I had plenty of those before the real climaxes arrived in future years).