Chapter 2

It was really hard for me to forget about the things that went on between cousin Hap and me in aunt Clary's basement. I knew that if I told anyone we'd both be in so much trouble. Granny always told us girls to keep our legs closed, and to never let anyone touch your privates ... I'd broken both rules, and I felt so ashamed. I felt so dirty inside, because I liked what we did.

As the two hot summer weeks dragged on, I didn't see cousin Hap. I felt a little bit sad, like he was avoiding me for some reason. Janie and I went to church with Granny for choir practice, and as usual we would wind up in the empty Deacon's office downstairs, playing on the phone. We both got caught by one of the sunday school teachers, and was in big trouble. Janie was sent back home to her momma's for the rest of summer vacation, and I continued to stay at Granny's. The grownups had split us apart to teach us a lesson about misbehaving at church.

I missed Janie's company dearly. I had noone else that could play barbie doll's with me so well. I sat lonely on the backporch playing with my dolls, and listening to the radio most of the time after that.

One Friday, I heard Granny speaking on the phone in kreyol lwiziyen to aunt Etienne about her hedges needing a good trimming. Aunt Etiennne was cousin Hap's momma. When I heard Granny mention cousin Hap's name, my heart started racing again. Granny hung up the phone and stood in the hallway looking at me crouched down on the floor.

"Eavesdroppin, how dare you! I told you about listening to grown folks conversations, didn't I girl?" she looked down at me with a frowning face, and both hands on her chubby hips.

"Wi maw-maw ... mo chagren" I said very quietly.

"Hap's coming over here to fix my hedges, and I am going in the kitchen to snap peas. I want you to stay out of my way! To konprann?" she looked so angry, like she'd pull a switch from the tree in a minute and tear my legs up.

"Wi, mo konprann ... maw-maw" I sighed, rising from the shiny tiled floor.

I went to the bedroom on the backporch, and sat down again with my barbie dolls and radio. I lay across the bed on my stomache and fell asleep from boredom.

The sound of loud clipping noises woke me up. I got up from the bed and ran over to the large, screened in window. I saw cousin Hap standing in front of the hedges, clipping away. I hid behind the white sheers, still watching him. My heart was beating fast again, I liked seeing him so much! He had such strong arms, and his lightly freckled cheeks were red from the boiling heat. I moved nearer to the window to get a closer look at him. He looked sooo gorgeous! My foot hit the small footstool to my left by accident, and cousin Hap looked at the window. He dropped the large clippers onto the grass and walked close to the window. He saw me hiding behind the long white sheers, and smiled "Fanny"...

I moved away from the window, with my back to the wall.

"I see you hiding girl" he said, talking into the worn window screen.

I ran to the window quickly and laughed "BOOO!"

He started laughing, wiping the sweat from his brows.

"Did I scare you?" I grinned, resting my elbows on the big, sturdy window sill with my face pressed up against the screen.

"No I wasn't scared. A man is never scared" cousin Hap declared.

"You aint a man, your not even 21 yet" I said, pressing my nose up against the screen and crossing my eyes.

"Keep your eyes like that and theyre gonna end up sticking that way. Then you'll be a cross eyed witch" cousin Hap said, while reaching for the hedge clippers.

"Shut up. Who cares what you say" I snapped.

"Your such a child. Why you acting so mean today? Sa ena?" he asked, his face pressed closely up against the screen.

"Why you been ignoring me?" I whispered.

"Haven't been" he said "Just busy thats all"

"Girl leave that boy alone! Let him finish them hedges!" Granny yelled as she brought out a glass of fresh lemonade to cousin Hap.

I was a little bit jealous of how Granny always treated Hap so much nicer than me at times. I watched her talking to him about the yard and different stuff. I moved away from the window and sat on the bed again playing with my barbie dolls. Aunt Pinky came to pick up Granny to go to the market. Cousin Hap told Granny he'd keep an eye on me. I wasn't aware that Granny was gone, and was now lying across the bed humming to myself with my dolls.

"You still play with barbie dolls?" cousin Hap's voice laughed.

I turned around startled to see him standing in the bedroom doorway, laughing his head off.

"Yea so what!" I said, pretending that I didn't care ... but felt secretly embarassed.

I had always wanted him to think I was grown up and not some baby.

"Youre 15 years old, thats what. Don't you have a boyfriend yet?" he chuckled.

"I told you no boy ever kissed me and I don't care if its weird. I still pay with barbies" I said smugly, hiding one of them behind my back.

Cousin Hap came and sat next to me on the bed.

"Hap you better get off this bed! Granny will catch you!" I whispered, looking out the window to see a sign of her.

"She went to the market with aunt Pinky. Anyhow, why would I get in trouble for sitting on the bed with you? Its not like we doing anything wrong" he said.

I didn't want to mention what happened between us, but he was the first boy to ever kiss me. After that happened, the feelings I had for him burned inside me even stronger than before. I wondered if he felt the same way as me...

"Why have you been ignoring me?" I asked him, not looking him in the eye.

"Told you I've been busy" he said.

"Busy with what?" I asked him.

"Got a girlfriend now" he said with a serious face.

My heart started breaking at that very moment, and I wanted to cry. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"But ... you kissed me" I said, trying my hardest not to start crying like a baby.

"Yea but that shouldn't have happened" he said.

"I liked when you kissed me" I whispered and then started sobbing.

I was so embarrassed, and wanted to him to leave. I covered my face with my hands so he couldn't see my eyes get puffy and red with tears.

"Aww Fanny, please don't cry. I'm sorry" he put his arms around me really tight.

"Just go away" I said.

"No I won't. I'm really sorry for making you cry" he kissed my cheek very softly.

I lay on my side with my face buried in my grandmother's homeade quilt.

"Fanny girl, please look at me" cousin Hap said, with his arms still trying to hold me.

He kissed the side of my face that wasn't pressed into the quilt, and started stroking the long strands of my hair. My heart started pitter pattering so quickly, and I was even more nervous to look at him now. I felt like he was holding me like I was some poor little baby he pitied.

"Please just go" I said.

"No, I wanna stay here with you" he said, laying his face on my back.

"NO!" I yelled childishly into the quilt.

"If I kiss you ... will you let me stay?" he asked.

My eyes were so blurry with tears, I hated crying ... especially in front of him. I wiped some of the tears away with the palms of my hands, then turned over on my back to face him.

"You want to kiss me?" I asked.

"Yes" he said.

"But why?" I sniffled, with some tears still running down my cheeks.

"I don't know, I just want to really bad" he said, his green eyes gazing into mine.

He lay up against me with his hand resting on my flat little tummy, kissing my chin.

I giggled a little bit, unable to control it. I felt so shy and happy that he was kissing me again. He smiled and pressed his cheek tightly up against mine.

"Your a sweet girl Fanny. I adore you" he said.

I could feel myself blushing as he said those words. I puckered my lips a bit, and closed my eyes. I was being silly...

He kissed my lips tenderly, while his hand caressed my tummy. He slid his tongue inside my mouth and continued to kiss me as if I were his lover, and not a child. I started feeling the same hotness all over my body that I'd felt in aunt Clary's basement. I moved my hands up to touch his soft, curly hair ... running my fingers through it.