Chapter 1

I'm a Creole born and raised in Louisiana...

When I was a 15 year old girl, I visited my grandmother alot in the summertime. I remember one summer, the sun was so hot it could literally melt the soles of your shoes.

My younger cousin Janie and I were such innocent girls, almost always in the back of the old house playing with our barbie dolls ... and sitting near the large window fan.

"Don't get too close to that fan children" our Granny called.

"Yes maam" we'd answer.

"Lets do something fun!" cousin Janie smiled. She was so thin and tall, sitting on very the edge of the blue couch uncrossing her boney limbs.

"There is nothing fun to do. Its just too hot" I said while fanning myself with my open hand.

"We should go swimming!" cousin Janie grinned.

I didn't like the idea of going swimming. I was 15 years old and very awkward about my body. I wasn't a fat girl, but I did feel weird about showing my body in a swimsuit.

"Nah, I'm not interested" I said, smoothing down the material of my white sundress with my hands.

"Oh come on Fanny! Lets ask aunt Clary if we can swim in her pool!" cousin Janie said with her hazel brown eyes, sparkling with tons of excitement.

"Hmmm, I don't know about that" I said with no hint of emotion. I was bored and decided to just stay bored ... besides ... it was too hot outside, and I hated getting all sweaty.

"Lets ask cousin Hap to pick us up!" cousin Janie grinned...

My heart started beating so fast, I thought it would jump right out of my chest! I secretly had the biggest crush on cousin Hap, but didn't want anyone in the world to know about it. Cousin Janie had a small sneaking suspicion of how I felt about Hap. She would only give me a certain look whenever his name came up...

Cousin Hap was so goodlooking! I never wanted to say such a thing outloud, but deep inside he made me quiver with such naughty forbidden thoughts. He was my cousin ... but I secretly thought of kissing him...

Just the week before I'd gone to church with Granny and was really bored ... so I called Hap on the Deacon's phone, asking him to come over to keep me company. He showed up almost immediately, laying across the backseat of my Granny's car ... with his head in my lap, sighing and talking about how he hated highschool. It felt like the most romantic moment ... Haps beautiful head resting in between my crotch, almost made me faint with pleasure! My fingers dared to touch the soft, smooth, curls of his hair while he rambled on and on about stuff. I liked his face, he had such a clear beautiful complexion for a boy of his nature. He was always climbing trees and scruffing up his knees from doing crazy stunts.

"Well? Are you gonna call him?" cousin Janie stood there with her hands on her hips, interrupting my thoughts and flashbacks...

"Oh I don't know. What would I even say to him? I wouldn't know what to say" I was feeling very nervous. I got up and went into the back porch where there was no fan. That room was hotter than an oven, but it was the only room in the house with such a large full length mirror. I stood in front of the mirror messing with my hair.

"Okay you look fine! NOW CALL COUSIN HAP!" Janie whined loudly, handing me the heavy black phone.

My fingers trembled as I put the tip of my finger into the small holes and dialed his number. I was surprised that I had remembered it by heart now...

"Bonjou?" cousin Hap answered.

"Hi ... Sa k a prife?" I smiled, my fingers were toying with the springy phone cord...

"Is this Fanny? Sa tchob byen?" he asked.

"Mo bon, me and Janie just sitting here bored at Granny's. Wanna do somethin?" I asked.

"Do what girl?" he asked in a surpised voice.

"Go swimmin maybe?" I suggested innocently.

"Swimmin? You know somebody with a pool?" he asked.

"Aunt Clary's got one now" I smiled, wondering what he'd say next ... hoping it would be "yes!"

"Yea, its hot as hell outside. Sure. Want me to come pick you up girl?" he asked.

My heart started racing so fast now ... he was going to pick me up?

"Well? Yes or no?" he asked.

"Yes" I said.

"Alright then. I'll be over in a few" he said.

I was so thrilled now, and ran straight for the mirror again. Then it suddenly dawned on me that I'd have to wear a swimsuit! I didn't want him to see me wearing one of those!

I had just recently discovered that I had started to develope breasts, and they made me sooo uncompfortable. What if he saw them? I was feeling nervous again and decided not to go.

"Oh come on! Lets get ready! I wish I had your body. You are so lucky" cousin Janie said while rummaging through her leather yellow suitcase. I stood there, awkward ... not knowing what I'd wear. I looked through the drawers and found a pair of blue shorts and a white tank top. I was going to wear that and pretend I was on my period! I had just started having my period a year before, and suddenly decided that it would be a great excuse of why I wouldn't be wearing a suit. I slipped out of my white sundress and into the shorts and white tank top. Granny came into the room, her hands searching through the sewing box on the other side of the room.

"Where you children goin?" she asked us.

"To aunt Clary's for swimming. Cousin Hap is pickin us up!" cousin Janie in an excited voice, while sliding her wiry body into the pink flowered swimsuit.

"Shouldn't you children call your aunt Clary first? Aint it rude to show up without askin?" she asked.

"Yes maam" we both said.

"I'll go call her" cousin Janie said, running out of the room with the heavy black phone in her tiny hand.

I stood in the mirror trying to figure out if I looked alright or not. My hair was still pulled up in a ponytail, which fell almost past my hips. Earlier, I thought that hairstyle would make me look more grown up! I was wrong ... It made me look 12 instead of 16! I hated it!

I knew Hap really liked my hair, he was always going on about it being so pretty and soft.

"Don't ever cut it" he'd said to me so many times...

Sometimes it did make me feel strange the way he liked it so much, so I wondered if I should put it up in a bunbun...

There was a loud knocking at the front door...

It was cousin Hap, he'd brought cousin Benny with him. They were in the front room talking with Granny.

"Fanny! Janie! Haps here!" Granny yelled.

Granny's loud voice seemed to rip right through me! I grabbed my little red purse and slid my feet into my open toe sandals.

Cousin Janie hopped like a bunny rabbit into the room grinning and whispering "Hes here, hes here!"

Sometimes I was beginning to wonder if maybe cousin Janie had a crush on Hap too ... the very thought of that made me a little jealous.

"Hey there Fanny girl, you ready?" he smiled.

He stood there near the sofa, so much taller than me. He was wearing a baseball cap and shorts that showed his strong, smooth, buttery colored calves and the small bits of hairs that were starting to grow on them. It gave me such a tingly feeling all over to look at his legs.

"Hey there Fanny" quiet cousin Benny said.

"Oh hey Benny" I said to him.

We all headed out to cousin Hap's little silver car. Hap got in the driver seat, and Benny jumped in the front seat right next to him. I sat in the back seat directly behind Hap and cousin Janie looked over at me grinning.

Hap awkwardly adjusted the mirror. I looked into it, for a brief second. I was startled to find cousin Hap's light green eyes staring back at me! My heart started racing and I quickly looked away!

I looked out the window, avoiding the mirror as much as possible.

I couldn't quite remember the directions to aunt Clary's house, there were so many crazy looping back roads we had to pass through.

We finally reached the house...

It was crowded with so many people.

"Wow she must be having a party" I heard cousin Hap say.

We parked on the gravel, and all three of us got out of the car.

Cousin Hap and Benny ran way ahead of us. Janie and I started slowly walking towards the house.

"Why are there so many people here?" cousin Janie asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and kept on walking really slow. We went inside the house from the side door. Aunt Clary had such a beautiful old house...

Janie and I went into the livingroom where aunt Clary was laughing and talking to cousin Ava.

"Hey girl! Haven't seen you in a week or two" aunt Clary said, coming over to cover my face in big kisses. I also gave cousin Ava a hug and aunt Bonita. The room was filled with so many people, and they were all talking in Kreyol Lwiziyen...

I left the room and went out into the backyard. The swimming pool was yards and yards away from the house, past a big patch of tall grass. I sat on the concrete, putting my feet into the water. Cousin Janie came over to me, throwing two thick towels across my lap and she jumped into the water. I felt betrayed that she was getting in without me. Now I looked like the weirdo, sitting at the edge of the pool instead of swimming around like everyone else! Everyone was laughing and splashing each other. I sat playing with my ponytail, wishing I'd learned how to swim ... and wishing I wasn't so nervous about showing my body.

A curly red haired boy was tossing a great big beach ball in the air, it fell behind me.

"Hey! Can you get that for me please?" the tall, cute boy called. I reached back and got it for him...

"Byen mersi ... Ki sa se bon! Sweetheart" he smiled and winked. I could tell my cheeks were probably red as fire as I smiled back at him. I was so thrilled a boy had called me sweetheart! It made my heart melt.

"You like him?" I heard someone's voice ask.

It was then when I discovered Hap was directly in front of me.

"I don't know" I said, feeling very pleased with myself.

"What if I do?" I said.

"Then I'll pull you in the water" he grinned.

"No please don't!" I begged him.

"Girl, begging won't do you any good. Your gonna get soaked in this water now" he laughed grabbing for my legs.

"Mo gen tann pou fe sila! Haha!" Hap roared with laughter.

"Stop it Hap, go away!" I yelled, kicking my feet at him ... making water splash everywhere.

"Kofè?" He asked with his cheeks turning red.

He grabbed my legs with his strong wet hand, then he kinda stood there for a minute...

"Fine then! Your no fun!" he said swimming away.