According to the syllabus, today’s figure painting project had the title “Top, Bottom, and Middle,” but on the dais stood a chair and upon the chair a stack of fat books, and neither the instructor nor the model was present.

“What do you think?” Wayne asked Brent, the other student artist.

Brent shrugged. “Maybe it’s a test of some kind.”

“Or we have the day wrong,” Wayne speculated.

“Or there’s been some sort of mishap,” Brent suggested.

Wayne laughed. “Like Moch is shagging Jamie overtime.” Moch being the instructor and Jamie the model.

“He should be so lucky,” Brent said.

Just then a small bird fluttered down from the ceiling and landed on the chair.

“Woah,” said Brent.

“Kind of fits the theme,” Wayne said. “Top, middle. If he poops maybe we’ll have bottom.”

“And we’re supposed to paint it?” Brent scoffed. “What kind of bird is it anyway?”

Wayne cellphone photo’d it. “It says Cambodian Tailor Bird. Orthotomus chaktomuck. They’re endangered and found only in Cambodia. Less than five inches long.”

“Um, Wayne, we’re not in Cambodia. Not unless I made a wrong turn at Dunkin this morning. That donut, now that I think about it, was rather suspect.”