Chapter 23: Friday Afternoon

The bell for the end of the school day on a Friday always sounds exactly like every other school bell – but it certainly feels different. It’s the signal for the start of the weekend – two whole days and three whole nights of non-school. It’s not that I hate school or anything, like I know some people do. It’s just that, most of the time, non-school is better than school.

The sports afternoon had been fun. Two whole periods of doing something I really loved as opposed to sitting in classes which I mostly liked, but...

I hadn’t had to work very hard, compared to what I’m used to from playing basketball, so I hadn’t even worked up a sweat. That was a good thing because I had no more clothes to change into. Everyone else had changed back into their normal clothes. It’s really weird but when everyone is changed for PE the uniform doesn’t worry me, but when it’s only me I feel really self-conscious. The shorts are very short and close-fitting. The shirt is short-sleeved and tighter than I would like. In other words, they’re clothes that I would never wear anywhere except maybe on a tropical beach.

My other problem was that being dressed like that seems to be taken as an invitation for the boys to stare at my legs, stare at my bum, stare at my body. It felt to me like in their heads they were imagining stripping even that scant protection away from me and making me walk naked down the corridor. It made my skin crawl.

There was a press of bodies caught up in a traffic jam where two corridors met. I found myself stuck right in the middle of a crowd of older students with both arms full of my sports bag and my book bag. Suddenly I felt a seriously hard pinch right on the cheek of my butt. I squeaked and spun around as quickly as I could but all I saw was a crowd of boys pressed around me. Not a single one of them was looking at me. I glared at the group of them anyway, then pressed my way backwards through the crowd, feeling a lot like a salmon trying to swim upstream. It took some effort but I made my way into a little gap in front of some girls I didn’t know who were from Tara’s year. Hoping I would be safer with them behind me rather than boys, I allowed myself to be swept along once more.

The way the crowd burst through the front doors and flowed down the steps reminded me of a film I’d seen where they released floodwater from a dam and it suddenly came rushing down that shoot thing on the other side of the dam wall. I flowed with the crowd a bit then tried to swim my way to the edge. Just before I made it to safety I felt a hand grab my butt and squeeze it – right on the spot I’d been pinched before. It really hurt. I was pretty sure that I’d have a bruise there the next day. I squealed and jumped for safety where the steps extended out along the front of the building. The crowd continued to rush down the steps behind me, the excitement of starting the weekend evident in their noise. I immediately lost interest as I saw a hunched figure slumped on the steps as far away from the crowd as it could get.

Tara was sitting hunched over with her forearms resting on her knees and her head down. I went over to her and sat beside her. She’d been swimming and had obviously showered because her hair had that just-washed look to it.

“Get lost!” She didn’t even look at me when she said it.

I didn’t feel like a fight so I stood and walked away a few steps. Then I stopped and reconsidered. She was obviously miserable and I didn’t have to be Einstein to figure out at least part of her problem. I turned back and resumed my place seated on the step beside her.

“I told you to go away.” She still wasn’t looking at me.

“I did, but then I remembered something so I came back – several somethings actually.”

“So, little genius, what did you remember?” The sarcasm was dripping off her like drips off an ice cream cone melting on a hot summer’s day.

“Well for a start, you’re not the boss of me so I don’t have to do what you say. More importantly, I figure after the way you sat with me and looked after me earlier this week that maybe I owed you one.”

“You must hate me.”

“Why should I hate you?” I knew what she was talking about, but I wanted her to say it.

“After what I did today, and at school yesterday. I saw the look on your face. You hate me.”

Inside my brain, I was comparing what Tara was saying to me, to what I’d said to Dan that morning. I was kind of thankful that Dan had given me such a good answer, because it gave me a place to start with Tara.

“I don’t hate you. I never have hated you. You’re my sister and I love you.”

She snorted. She obviously didn’t believe me. Why couldn’t I be as convincing as Dan was?

“Sure, we’ve done some mean things to each other over the years. We’ve said some mean things to each other. Sometimes we fight like it’s the end of the world. But I’ve never stopped loving you and I think you know that.”

My other point, the one I carefully didn’t say out loud, was that with everything else going on right now I didn’t have the energy to hate her. Come to think of it, I couldn’t even hate Laura, or Hannah, or anyone really. They were there. They existed in my life like huge potholes in the road of my life that I had to keep steering around. You don’t hate potholes, you just work out how to avoid running into them.

I reached out and clasped her hand in mine.

“Nothing that happened today has changed how I love you. I guess I was disappointed that you didn’t, I don’t know, stick up for me or something, but I still love you.”

Tara’s head never lifted so I couldn’t see her face. I didn’t realize she was crying until I saw the little circles of damp suddenly appear in the concrete under where she was sitting. I squeezed her hand and stopped talking.

Yellow buses, packed with sardines, were pulling out of the car park. I watched them go. I was pleased that for a change, today I was a salmon instead of a sardine. I was going to Dan’s school, in the other direction and the city bus that would take me there didn’t leave for another 30 minutes. I was in no hurry so I could take my time to sit with my sister.

The conversation had completely stopped, so I sat there holding her hand. It was nice to sit in the sun. As long as there was no wind, you could actually get quite warm. I closed my eyes, letting the sun warm the skin of my face.

I felt Tara shift beside me. I lifted one eyelid and peeked at her. She had sat up and was staring out at the traffic bustling past on the road. I didn’t let go of her hand, so she had to use the sleeve of her other arm to dry her face. She kept looking out, away from me. I wasn’t sure if she was actually looking at something or just looking away.

“My friends will be here soon. Laura and Tracey had to see a teacher after school. Tracey’s sister is driving us to the mall.”

“Okay.” I didn’t really care that much, but she was talking to me so I figured I may as well listen. Maybe she was building up to something.

I could see her biting her lip. She was definitely working up to something.

I waited.

“Laura found out that I’ve had sex, so now she’s ragging on me to go to more ... um ... interesting parties with her.”

She did the finger quotes around “interesting parties.” I got the message.

“There’s one tonight. A high school party, over at the top end of Power Street.”

“Do you want to go?” I asked.

“I don’t think I have a choice.”

“Sure you do. You could say no!” I said.

“I don’t think I can.”

I thought for a moment.

“Well at least they aren’t going to make you have sex tonight,” I said.

“What?” She turned to look at me, all puzzled and curious. “Why not?”

“Don’t you have your period?”

A brief look of hope flashed across her face, and then faded.

“It finished this morning.”

“Do they know that?” I asked.

Her jaw dropped. Her eyes went wide and then a fierce grin spread across her face.

She squeezed my hand. “How did I ever get you for a sister?”

“Double pay, remember?” I said with a grin.

“Oh, yeah!”

The grin softened to my sister’s normal “happy” face.

“The Parents think we’re going to the mall for a while, then going to a movie. Will you cover for me?” asked Tara.

“I’m going to Dan’s game. I won’t be back ‘til late. I won’t be able to do much covering.”

“Oh yeah. It’s his last game. I should be going too,” said Tara.

“You had your chance.”

“I know. That was before I knew about ... I was looking forward to that movie.”

I shook my head at her. The movie would be showing every night for weeks. Dan’s last game wasn’t going to be repeated. The game would’ve given Tara a perfect excuse not to go to that party. Sometimes Tara was her own worst enemy but I wasn’t going to tell her that.

We sat in silence and held hands. I hoped I was giving her some comfort.

Tara obviously half wanted to go to this party – it wasn’t just Laura making her do it. If Tara was so desperate not to go, she would’ve figured out some way to avoid it. I had no idea why she would want to go. Maybe she was curious about what a high school party would be like. She was also nervous about going. Of course, being pressured into having sex was the obvious problem for her, but also she wasn’t comfortable about outright lying to The Parents. She was also being torn between me and her friends. Laura seemed to be forcing her to choose and she didn’t seem to be ready to do that. I didn’t really want her to have to choose either. I might not like Laura very much, but Tara needed friends – probably more than I did.

Laura and her two robots arrived – or should I say, Laura and her other two robots arrived. They all went “Hey” at each other.

Laura looked suspiciously at our clasped hands, then turned to me. “We’re not taking you with us. There isn’t room in the car,” said Laura in a snooty voice.

I stared back at her, “I know!” I said.

I was kind of pleased with myself for staying so cool and calm. Then I remembered thinking how I didn’t have any energy for hating Laura. I refused to let go of Tara’s hand. I looked at Laura like she was a pothole I would have to steer around. She didn’t seem to like it.

She turned to Tara, “Come on, we have to go. Tracey’s sister will be waiting.”

I looked at Tracey, who was robot number two and wondered if her sister had a name. I looked back at Laura and wondered if Tara’s sister had a name. I wondered if Laura treated Tracey’s sister the same way she treated Tara’s sister. I wondered if Laura’s sister had a name. I wondered if Laura treated Laura’s sister the same way she treated Tara’s sister.

Tara shifted her weight and stood up. Then she used our clasped hands to help me up. She seemed to half glance at Laura and then pulled me into a hug. It was kind of unexpected but I didn’t object.

“Enjoy the game,” said Tara. “I’ll see you late tonight, or tomorrow. Say hi to Dan for me.”

I was quietly impressed. Maybe there was hope for Tara after all. I decided to support her by continuing the little charade.

I leaned right into her hug, then kissed her cheek and pulled back.

“Okay,” I said. “Enjoy your time at the mall. Give Mum a hug for me when you get home.”

“For fuck’s sake,” broke in Laura. “What the fuck is this, Happy Families or something?”

Laura turned and marched away, followed by her three dutiful little robots. I had a new goal in life – to add to my long list of goals. If Tara was actually going to try being independent – even in little ways, then I would support and encourage her any way I could. Maybe one day there would be two people and two robots in that group. Or maybe even (gasp) four actual people!

After spending all day at middle school, stepping off the bus into the community college is like stepping into a different world. It’s not just that the people are older and bigger, but that sure makes a difference. It’s not just that the buildings and facilities look completely different either. It’s the attitude of the place – the feel. Everything is so much more casual and relaxed. There are no bells, no scowling duty teachers supervising your every move, no rules about PDAs and no attendance checks. The students here are treated like adults instead of little kids. I mean, they are adults but, well, you know...

Not for the first time, I wished I could skip the whole middle school-high school experience and come straight here to finish my education. I had it all planned out. I would take a couple of subjects at a time instead of the normal number. I would spend all the extra time catching up on the things that I’d missed that I needed for those two subjects. This place had a good library and I was pretty sure it would have high school text books in there, plus anything else I would need. It wouldn’t worry me to spend five or six years here to do a normal two year course. I’d miss hanging out with Liz during lunchtimes but apart from that I wouldn’t miss being with kids my own age – not for one second. Once I’d finished that, then I’d be the right age and ready to go to the university. It seemed like a perfect plan to me. Of course, it was only a fairy tale, but Mum always said it was important to have dreams.

I walked through campus feeling a bit out of place in my school PE uniform. Then I had an idea and fished Dan’s old football jersey out of my bag. I put it on straight over the top of the other clothes and it draped around me, falling to just above my knees. With the shorts underneath completely covered, I was effectively wearing it like a dress. This was Dan’s college football jersey from last season, the one he’d given to me. It still had his name and number on the back and everything. Now that I was in the college colors I felt like I belonged here. I picked up my bags and walked along the path much more confidently.

I had some time to kill before meeting up with Dan. He would be in class right now and he was supposed to meet me at a little campus cafeteria as soon as his class let out. I figured I would sit in a corner of the cafeteria and do some homework until he showed up. I headed inside and there were lots of spare tables so I found a table near a window and pulled out my science book. This place was nothing like a school cafeteria, it was more like a café you would find in a strip mall except with interesting college mementos on the walls. They served coffees and shakes and pastries and stuff like that. They had pre-made sandwiches wrapped in cling-wrap and fruit salads in little sealed plastic cups and things like that too.

I was thinking that maybe I should get a snack to keep me going since I wouldn’t get to eat properly until after the game, when Dan came in the door. We waved at each other and he came over to me.

“Hey!” said Dan. “We’re having a five minute break from class. I thought I’d check to see if you’d gotten here yet.”

“I’m here.” I said, stating the obvious.

“I’m going to grab something to eat, do you want anything?” asked Dan.

“Thanks! I’d love one of their ham and cheese sandwiches. And please could I have a bottle of iced tea? That would be nice too.”

“Sure thing. Back in a second!” said Dan.

He walked over to the counter to place his order and returned fairly quickly. He handed me my sandwich and drink and I noticed he’d bought exactly the same for himself.

“I have to head back to class,” said Dan. “Will you be okay here?”

“I’m okay, but...”

“But what?” asked Dan.

“Would I be allowed to sit with you in class? I promise not to make a noise.”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t see why not. People audit classes all the time. Let’s go.”

I tucked my science book under one arm and tried to pick up my bags. Dan ended up carrying my bags and I carried our food. We detoured to Dan’s car in the parking lot and dumped my bags in the trunk. Dan checked with me twice to see if I needed anything from my bags because I wouldn’t be able to get at them again until after we got back from the game. I shook my head. I had my science book under my arm. All my spare clothes were wet or messy. I had my hairbrush in my bag, but I didn’t have any pockets and didn’t feel like carrying it around all evening. Dan took my brush from me and dropped it in a side pocket of his own sports bag, which he lifted from the trunk and slung over his back by its strap.

The classroom or lecture hall or whatever you’re supposed to call it had a bunch of people in it settling themselves back in after their short break. Dan dropped his bag beside the door next to two other similar looking sports bags and led me to where he’d been seated. I slid into the chair next to him and handed him his sandwich and iced tea. Dan’s books and notes were spread out on the bench in front of him and I put my science book down in front of me.

I got a few glares from some of the girls in the room. I think it was because I obviously came in with Dan and was sitting next to him when that was what they wanted. I didn’t say anything. I sat there and looked back at the jealous girls with a smile on my face.

We unwrapped our sandwiches and nibbled on them. I glanced around the room and saw that most of the people in the room had at least a cup of coffee while quite a few had snacks to eat. This was obviously a long session and I thought it was another sign of the difference that they would take a break and bring snacks and drinks into class. At my school it’s forbidden to eat or drink anything in class – you aren’t even allowed to chew gum. Here it seemed perfectly normal and I figured it was pretty sensible as well.