“Daniel, I really like these potatoes that nice man at the church gardens gave me. I wonder why they’re called spuds. Anyway I bet they taste really good, maybe baked and slathered with some sour cream and butter. But for right now I just love the way they look. You know, they kind of remind me of you, of your cute butt. Or maybe your balls. They sort of feel a little like your balls, too. Maybe a cross between your balls and your penis skin. Who knew spuds could be so sexy!