Chapter 4

I sat in my English class completely bored out of my mind. The teacher was blabbing about something or other. 'Pronoun this, verb that, pretense, predicate' why couldn't they just physically torture us?

I had noticed more girls looking at me with approving eyes. When I would catch one, I would smile and they in turn would blush and look away. If I had known it was this easy to get a girl I would have tried earlier. Still, one girl didn't turn away; she just looked at me the same way I looked at her.

It was Amanda, the same girl I had made sure got away (saved) from those assholes, the day I found out I was an angel. That day seemed to be so long ago but it wasn't more than a couple days since then. (It was amazing that though it seemed so long ago, that day was less than a week past!)

Still I couldn't get over how beautiful Amanda was. If I was half the angel I (Rose) said I was, I would walk up to her after class and ask her out. Then something in me kinda broke-I guess that's the best way to say it. If there was anything I had learned(I had learned anything) from all the shit I had gone through recently it was that life was too short to waste away being worried over how something might turn out. I left my desk and walked over to Amanda who had still not stopped starring at me.

I could feel my classmate's eyes on me as I drew closer and closer to Amanda (Amanda's eyes on me as I drew closer and closer to her). I even heard the teacher who told me to go back to my seat. In that moment though, I didn't care.

"Amanda." I said.

She looked at me with her warm brown eyes; I think I stared for a second.

"Will you go out with me?"

Silence. Oh crap, maybe I should have thought this out more!

"Ok." She said.

I wasn't aware of holding my breath until I let it out when she said 'Ok.'

I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and went back to my seat. Maybe English class wasn't so bad after all. Of course my classmates whistled and made the mandatory catcalls some even went so far as to sing 'Jake and Amanda sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!' Our English teacher even chuckled a bit at my choice of tactics. Amanda surprised me a bit. She took the ribbing with pride it seemed.

The rest of class went by fairly quickly after that. I was getting to the door when Mr. Hassleberry asked me to stay behind for a minute.

"Jake, I am glad that you found something worth your time in my class." He said smiling. My face felt hot all of a sudden, I knew it meant I was blushing fiercely.

"Your brother was a good person Jake. He was smart, strong and humble, with a deep sense of right and wrong. I want to ask you to live your life, not your brother's. You can't be him, Jake. But I'm sure you can make him proud by being yourself."

I wiped away the tears that were falling from my eyes and without looking up at him I asked, "why are you telling me this?"

"Jake I lost my older brother when I was younger. For a long time, I tried to live up to what I thought he would want for me, I spent a lot of my youth trying to be someone I wasn't. One day a psychology professor of mine asked me to take a session with him. I asked why and he said I looked tense and troubled. I saw him as a (I became his) patient for the remainder of my college career and it (he) helped me understand why I did some of the things I did. I don't want you to waste your youth as I did mine."