Chapter 1

I woke to excruciating pain and violent movement. I heard a scream of a person in dire agony. I felt burning on my arm but it was my head that hurt the most. I was naked and I felt rough cords binding my body. I was captured but couldn't think of any reasons for this. The stimulation from my nerves was too great and I had to pull back from my senses just to think.

The relief was not there like it was before. The pain was muted enough to think but only just. My thinking was clouded and it was not just from the pain. There had to be some additional trauma to the brain.

I tried to remember what had happened last. We were in a fight but I could remember hardly any of it. I thought of the voices I heard and knew that it was the language of the Picts. The German tribes spoke nearly the same language and they could be understood. The Gauls were a large tribe and part of the Pict nation. The Gauls had been laying siege to Hildestun but stayed out of cannon range. We had come at them from the rear after working hard to prepare our escape route.

We had attacked the Gallic camp and killed warriors but probably many women and children too. We could have done much worse but our objective was to relieve the siege and to get the warriors to follow us. They had done so in great numbers. They fell into our traps and we used the cannon, mortars and bombs. I had no idea how many we had killed then but it had to be well over a thousand.

Pursuit had ended and we had gone back to Hildestun to see what we could do. I remember rain and a fight in the heavy fog but only vaguely.

I went over these last thoughts but could not wring any more information from them or my memory. I realised that I had been sleeping. This was the first time since the original few days in Jón's body. That time had been caused by magic more than drugs. He had been recovering from his injuries and that was probably what was happening now.

There was a sudden flare of pain that had me seeing red and even the images in my mind shrunk in size. I had to see what was going on but tried to suppress the sense of feeling while allowing just sight and sound. It didn't work that way and a lot more pain came in. Through chaotic movements of the head I saw Picts all around and one was holding a sword with a glowing end.

I could not understand the language and Jón was howling like an animal. "Jón, Jón. What happened."

I got no answer and no recognition that he had heard anything. I tried to move Jón's head but it didn't move. This could be from some sort of binding or because he would not allow me to do this. I tried the fingers and legs but again I could not tell because I didn't dare allow the sense of touch to tell me for I could not handle it.

There was little to learn and to tell the truth, I was afraid. I realised that when I was in Jón's body my sense of fear had been well under control. I didn't know if this was the work of the priests or possibly it was me not integrating well enough to the body. Fear had been muted in my youth and that was how I had been able to win at so many endevours. I simply was not afraid of failure. While in Jón's body this trait was even stronger as if I was just watching an exciting movie on television from the comfort of an easy chair in my home

The pain was excruciating and I tried to work on it as I did to gain control of Jón's senses. It centred on my arms, legs, face, mouth and groin. Being focussed at least allowed me to ignore part of the discomfort.

I was getting the pain to a more manageable level when it occurred to me that Jón may be killed as retribution for some of the deaths we had caused. When he died, I was positive that I would too. There was also nothing I could do about it.

Actions that could be changed I would try while those I could not would be left to later. I hid within Jón's mind and worked quickly to take apart the linkages that dealt with the ability to feel. I had tried so hard to build this before. It was only when I had severed of them completely, did I look out Jón's eyes.

His eyesight was poor and it was not just from the low light in the tent. I connected fully to the ears and was surprised to hear very little to the left even with my ability. The right was better but not a lot.

There were many voices and most of those were in pain. I suddenly worried how many of them were from our troop or the cadets. I strained to hear the voices but they all appeared to be Picts.

Again I tried to move Jón's head but this did not happen. I investigated the linkage that I had built over a few days and saw it still in place. After testing each of the strands I saw that they were just not working.

I studied what was before me and tested areas of our mind but could not find any place that reacted as it should. If there were a great deal of trauma to the brain then this could be the cause.

A new search was instigated and I soon found a great many red and white blood cells working in a very large area. I studied the damage and discovered that it was just not bruising but a foreign body was in the brain. After an indeterminate amount of time I found sixteen more.

Jón was wearing a helmet that would deflect some of the blow because I had to assume it was a spear or a sword stroke that had made him the way he was. If this were the case then the foreign bodies may just be bone fragments.

There had to be something I could do. It was a long time later that I found I could influence the flow of the blood and directed it to the smallest fragment. I had no way of measuring time but I saw the fragment get smaller but just a little.

Rather than go to the other sites I worked on this small area trying to learn all I could. I was getting fatigued and wondered why. I needed no rest and then had to attribute it to Jón's body craving food.

I opened the linkage to the eyes and found it dark once more. My vision was only fair. I knew that there must be more damage here to repair too. I listened to the slightly quieter camp and detected some Latin being spoken and had to assume this was why we had been successfully attacked. We were probably ambushed and I wondered why I had not detected them soon enough to use the cannons on them. Some men came near the tent and angry voices were heard but again I could not tell what was being said.

Before pulling my senses in I tried to contact Jón and it was as if he didn't hear me. The best I could do would be to heal the body and perhaps make a break for it.

The bone fragment was again my quest and it occurred that I could use the minerals I was removing. The area of the skull that was damaged was very large but then again my point of view was microscopic. The scull was pressing on the brain and I knew that there was a liquid all around it for protection.

A portion of the skin on the outside of the skull was simply not there. I changed my focus and studied the healing process here. Like the bone fragment, I tried to assist but most of the time I was hindering. Cells just grew and split slowly and all of this was covered by our DNA. I just did what I could and worked around the edge to try to get it to grow to a central location. I had no idea how far I would have to go but just continued my work

This area seemed to grow tired of the extra work and I went back to the bone fragment and worked on it until the same thing happened. I shifted to the next fragment and worked on the edges in a slow process similar to water wearing away rock.

The blood cells I used were being used up quickly and I looked for fat cells. I knew that muscle went first and I wanted to keep this for our escape. This search took up a lot of time and with little results. Jón simply was in good shape and had little fat reserves. I did start to map out his body a lot better.

I went back to the damaged areas and worked on them again then went on the hunt once more. I had been doing a great deal and though not tired I knew that a lot of time had passed. The blood had the right amount of electrolytes so I assumed that Jón was being fed and offered water. I had found fat around what I thought of as Jón's waist and buttocks but this was not significant.

On my travels I found a lot of damage from what I thought of as burns. This could have been something to do with the fight but probably more to do with the sword I saw being carried. Jón and I had been castrated. This should have been very traumatic but it was the least of my worries now.

My rounds now included a look at our situation. I saw few people that were not angry and pointing at Jón but most of the time there were nobody in the immediate vicinity.

I searched for Jón every time I surfaced but found the basic portions covering his heartbeat and breathing. Later I discovered the area covering personality and cognition. Part of this was damaged but Jón was not here. I tried keeping the hearing active while I worked but this slowed me down a great deal and had to just come out once in a while to check myself.

As I worked on Jón's body I found a great many more injuries. The burns were serious and in his case very extensive. This would lead to infection which I was now fighting on a limited scale because I was not sure of what I was doing. Jón had a broken leg and since it was fairly straight I had to assume a splint was on it. This also inferred that Jón was getting some kind of care.

At one time I caught sight of somebody leaving the tent and two armed men at the tent flap. They were Roman soldiers and I had to assume they were going to torture Jón to find out what he knew. Jón had access to my memories but may not be able to answer them. I had not found his personality. When I activated the sense of taste I could detect that food had passed his lips and some watered wine. I wondered how they had got Jón's body to cooperate unless they used a tube to force the food down but I could not detect damage from this feeding method.

When nobody came I went back to work. Jón's face was severely damaged but I only fixed the cuts and abrasions. Many of his front teeth were gone. A healed Jón may bring about more punishment than he would otherwise get or possibly an understated vitality.

My rounds now required me to surface more often but I would immediately go back to work if there was nothing interesting. It was this way that I found a girl looking at me. She was feeding me with a wooden spoon but stayed as far back as she could. Two of the Roman soldiers were very close and I didn't know if they were protecting me or the girls. It was a good chance that our facial features were very disfigured.

When more light came into the tent I could make out her features better and saw that she only looked like any one of the Pict girls that I had got Jón to settle in Victoria. I hope she was not a taken as slave from that group but could just as easily have been one of the girls from the Gallic camp we had attacked. She was just somebody that had to do an unpleasant task that the Romans didn't want to do.

I could not control the body yet but I had not tried very hard. If Jón was nothing more than a hindbrain then he would have to take the pain of the torture for both of us. I knew that if it were me alone I would eventually give everything I knew to the Romans. Only a fool thinks that they can take that kind of abuse.

Another time, I surfaced to find an old thin man turning Jón's body around and washing him with a rag. I got sight of Jón's legs and saw that they were quite thin. Either a long time had passed or I was taking a great deal of resources to speed up the healing.

Three of my cycles later I found that Jón was being carried in a stretcher of some kind. There was even an awning over my face to keep out the rain that was now falling but I could see nothing but some legs and a portion of the forest off to one side.

I heard only Latin now and wondered what they had done to get possession of Jón's body. It may be worth something to Clovis. If he could use magic to heal it once then he may be able to do it again. I was not sure if they would find Jón though.

As a test I started to connect the sense of feeling up again. There was still a great deal of pain but it was bearable for a short period of time. I wondered if this was what drove Jón's personality from his body. I was sure it was gone. I felt something like hobbles around Jón's ankles but they were not that tight. The hands were lashed to a piece of wood to make a handcuff of sorts. They felt plenty strong especially if Jón was getting thin and weak.

Feeling was muted and I went back to work. When the swaying of the litter changed then I could come out to investigate. Most of the bone fragments were gone now and skin covered the depression in the skull. The skin was now laying new bone in the depression as I removed it from the inside of the skull. I had learned that a lot could be done but only a little bit at a time and at many locations.

The litter stopped and I came to the surface. I was just in time for the litter to be roughly put to the ground and then I heard an angry voice through the pain that flowed through the body.

Men started to move around purposefully and I heard saws and axes working. I had to assume they were making camp for the night. It was an hour later that an old man gave me water and he looked like the one that had bathed Jón before.

This time I stayed on the surface and watched what was happening. Jón was focussed on the food and nothing else. I found that he ate like an animal. He was voracious and ate everything given him. He could not cut the food with his teeth but only chew it with the molars. Water was next and Jón was not that thirsty because his skin had sucked up some of the water during his trip. I knew now that he had not lost all his higher brain functions. Even acting like an animal required some very active thinking.

The old man cleaned up Jón and was not afraid to get near. His hands came up and inspected the face then slowly the rest of the body. Jón had shit himself and this had to be cleaned up but Jón just flopped on the ground as if he had little control of his own muscles.

Jón was rolled in a dry blanket and carried by two Romans into a tent. The Romans didn't like this but I could only tell by their tone of voice. I heard some mewing sounds and had to assume that they were from Jón himself. Perhaps there was more of him here than I had thought.

As Jón's brain healed my own cloudy thinking cleared up. With all the time on my hands I had come to the conclusion that the only reason it was not me that disappeared was that I occupied a different section of Jón's brain. The part he inhabited was the part that was damaged.

That night I worked again at finding a way to control Jón's body. I was worried because if Jón could not control it then there may be no way for me to do this. Around morning I had found a way to move my right index finger and this made me exceedingly happy. It meant that more might be controlled later.

Jón was fed the next morning but he didn't look at anything but the food around him. Water was brought and he drank thirstily and I could feel him panting for more like a dog. The man came back later and gave him what he wanted along with some pieces ripped from a crust of bread which Jón ate quickly. He never once used his arms or hands to assist himself. Jón apparently could control a small portion of his own body.

Jón was carried by two soldiers to a rough vertical log that had been a tree yesterday and put on his feet and in a squatting position. The soldiers left and the man talked kindly and in a moment Jón dutifully took a piss that hurt when it flowed. In a moment Jón took a dump. Jón's head was pointing down and I saw the most of Jón's penis had been taken too. A stitch was seen so someone had connected the urethra.

The soldiers came back later with a bucket and the man washed Jón while he was supported by their arms. It wasn't long after that he was wrapped in another light blanket and put back into the litter.

For a while I watched the activity but I could see only what interested Jón or perhaps it was just the way his head was laid. I went back to finding more than one finger to control.

Though I was busy healing our body, I knew I had to learn Latin. The old man's name was Iulius. I was not sure of most word meanings. The man was probably a doctor of sorts. He was kind and considerate and knew enough to move our body so there was no bed sores. He cleaned us too but used olive oil and rubbed this into the skin. When the man worked the oil around the groin Jón didn't respond mentally. I knew he could not physically.

The next day I had progressed to the right hand, the head and the mouth. That night when being fed I said, "Father." I was happy that I had Jón's language skills because it might have to come out in English. It was very weak though and I purposely didn't have Jón's eyes follow the man.

The man looked and thought then said in German, "Your father is not here my boy."

I closed our eyes now and feigned sleep. The man would be able to see a slow recovery and prepare for it. I hoped to be fed more too and a person regaining their health was more prone to get this when compared to a person that may die at any moment.

After the hand, the rest of the body progressed in an orderly fashion. I had found a lot more about the human body and could control the one I now inhabited after a fashion. This was only on a muscle by muscle basis and I was sure I could not walk because a great many things had to be considered to move this way.

I was still bound and the soldiers dragged us about but I did not attempt to use the feet so the Romans may not suspect something odd. It was better to take the abuse and the pain instead.

Iulius saw that my hands and arms could be used but I could not hold up a clay jug. He took off all of my bindings but I could not get much further than rolling out of my bed.

The next day Iulius came in accompanied by Lucius two boys. I had not seen their foster father around and I was surprised to see even the boys. With warfare now employing cannons, I had to assume they were going home. My destination could be anyplace. The boys took one look at me and hid behind the man. The Gauls must have done a good job and I was happy they had left the eyes alone.

I counted thirty seven days after the first. I spoke a few Latin words to the boys, Hirtius and Livius, with a guard standing near. My voice was very odd with the loss of the teeth. I had worked on this area and healed the gums. I examined the cells and found some that were different even from each other. I coaxed them to grow and I only hoped that some of them would one day be new teeth.

The man guarding the boys and I guess me too, didn't like this duty. I asked him things in Latin and he was forced to answer especially when Iulius was near. My Latin was still poor but it was improving.

The boys had overcome my ugliness and poor diction but the guard may not have or he was still angry at how we had killed so many Romans.

Iulius sounded out my knowledge of steel and especially gunpowder but I claimed to only remember the steel and a few other things. This never stopped him from trying to trick me or possibly it was to encourage me to remember. To be safe, I dropped all knowledge of Jón's family too. If the boy were to forget then he would not know too much. A person recovering though could remember some unrelated things now and again.

He asked about my family and when I claimed to not know, Iulius said that I was now the son of Lucius, just like the other two boys. I put a pleased expression on my face as if this was acceptable to me. In fact it was. I would get protection and access to information I would need later.

We came to a river with a sizable Roman fort on it. After some questioning I learned that it was the Luppia River or what the Germans of my time called Lippe. This went through the northern section of the Rhur valley and this was an important area for all of Germany.

Iulius questioned me extensively but I was claiming amnesia with occasional flashbacks. The man was familiar with this and knew that sometimes the memory came back. I was shown my armour and weapons but I looked at them with curiosity only. Three guards were nearby with hands on their swords but they didn't draw them. It was Livius that took the helmet and put it on then Hirtius wanted it. It looked like Iulius was sorry that his plan didn't work.

We stayed at the fort for three days and I always had an escort but I could not go far. Iulius got me some crutches and I used them for both show and to really help me move.

A flotilla of boats controlled traffic on the river and now more came to pick us up. Our group had numbered around a hundred would not all fit in the available craft. Each boat had two banks of rowers totalling twenty six. This left room for ten passengers. Five boats would take us then come back for the other half.

The two boys, Iulius and I were in the third boat of the first group. This boat had a lot of power with twenty six rowers. In an hour or so the boys had calmed down and I said to Livius, "I remember something that would be fun." My words were not clear because my lips had healed incorrectly.

"What?"

"I see a picture in my mind of a metal hook. A loop at one end allows you to tie a horse hair to it. The other end of the hook has a point and a cut in it so the fish cannot escape."

Iulius listened to my words then repeated what I said but in proper Latin. I thought about the syntax and repeated this to him.

Livius was interested in my idea and said, "What good is that?"

"It is only good if you want to catch a fish."

Iulius said, "What does your hook look like?"

"I think I can draw a picture of it. I remember using a sheet of slate. If you use another piece of slate on this it will make a picture and a damp cloth will take it away."

"I can get some slate if you want."

"If you can get some for Livius and Hirtius too." I rubbed my temples as if to help push out a thought and added, "If a strip of wood were put around it then it would not break as easily if it falls."

"We can try that. Perhaps you could make some at the next fort."

"I remember how to make steel somehow but I don't think I can swing the hammer."

I talked to the boys an hour later after drawing a picture of the hook in the air. "Do you remember your families?"

Hirtius was the younger and just shook his head. Livius said, "My mother had long hair. She was nice to me but my father was hardly ever home."

I said wistfully, "I wish I knew my family. What colour hair did your mother have?"

That night we stayed at a permanent way station with a stockade already erected. I had to assume that it was still dangerous here for travellers or perhaps just for Romans. My gums were itchy and I was going to go through teething pains once again.

Another ship was coming upriver and pulled in with us too. I had repaired my hearing and heard my name bandied about. Most would not believe the amount of people I had killed but I was not proud of this either. Some thought that I was trying to fool Iulius, which I was. To make sure I didn't react when I shouldn't, I turned down my hearing in my left ear to almost nothing and only a little better to my right. The Romans were not stupid and nobody else was either. They were just not as educated as I was.

The soldiers would make a loud noise near me while another watched my eyes for my reaction. So far they figured that I was nearly deaf in one ear.

Iulius found a heavy nail for me and I pretended to think again but soon I was beating it cold into a long thin wire. With only poor tools I sharpened an end of the wire and welded it to the other end. A chisel cut this off but left a small portion for the barb. Iulius was always watching me and I got him to do most of the work under my supervision.

With a rock I took my time and sharpened it carefully. Later I cut it off and made a loop. Since there was going to be a fire kept all night, I took some charcoal from previously burnt pieces of wood and covered everything in clay. This went into the fire.

I had told Iulius that it had to stay hot all night and I was sure the guards on watch would be made to do this.

The boys and Iulius slept with me and though there were guards I felt close to the boys. In a way I envied Lucius even more.

I awoke early the next morning and went out to have a piss. The guard on duty was one that didn't like me but then again if I was the one that had killed almost an entire legion of his friends then this was understandable.

"Where do you think you are going?" he said as he drew his sword.

"To the wall to piss. I don't know why you hate me so much. I never did anything to you."

He had nothing to say but I went to the wall anyway. He could use the sword and say that I was trying to escape but I doubt if anybody would believe him.

My stubby member had changed too. It had healed but like my face I left it the way nature would have healed it. I encouraged some skin to grow long after I was crudely castrated.

On the way back, I fished the clay out of the fire and used a stone to break it open. Other men came by to watch and I got one to pour some water into a cup for me. The hook was reheated until the right temperature and I had a man use a thin dry stick to pick it up and drop it into the water.

I picked it out and tested its strength then smiled and gave it to the soldier. He flexed the wire a bit and said, "This is strong for iron. Is this how you defeated some of us?"

"Defeated? How could I fight you? You think I am somebody else."

"You lost your wits."

"I do not remember fighting anybody. I am hardly able to walk and you think I'm a warrior. I think it is you and the others here that have lost their wits."

The man didn't like this. He dropped the hook before standing and leaving.

I took the hook and used the stone I had used last night and put back the points the way they should. When I was done I woke up the boys and I said, "Let's wake up Iulius and go fishing?"

The old man was already awake and shaming. He got up for his own piss then supplied the horsehair I needed. The gates were opened and we all went looking for bait. I found a crayfish and this went onto the large hook then this was cast into the water to the length of our line, which happened to be only four metres. A two metre supple pole was used.

We waited for an hour with the boys taking turns holding the pole but we had to quit when breakfast was ready. With no fish we had to leave soon but the boys could use the pole later.

We came to the Rhine after travelling nearly a hundred and sixty Roman miles. The river had a great many twists and turns in it that made the route longer. There was not much to see because the banks looked like any other uninhabited river I had been on in my life.

We stopped at a fort at the mouth of the River. As predicted, I was the centre of gossip. I heard many saying that the feeble boy in front of them was unable to do what was credited to me. My looks were greeted with derision but there was nothing I wanted to do because this was great camouflage.

The Roman smith was as taciturn as the German variety and I had to get Iulius to do the fighting for me. I was not against Rome learning about steel especially when it had to be made in such small quantities. Rome still had to hold the empire together until it had to get them to share the burden with other races. Clovis still had the secret of gunpowder and cannon so Rome would tread carefully around him.

The smallest hammer was much too heavy and a smaller one was made by the smith for me. As payment I had the smith beating iron very thin in preparation for making steel. It would just have to go into clay until jars were made.

Hirtius and Livius looked on as I beat some metal into wire form then gave the work over to Iulius again. I made a dozen hooks of two sizes and two small treble hooks as well. With them were a dozen awls. These were necessary too, even if it could be used against us. These were all placed in clay while surrounded by charcoal.

I found that our boats had gone back upriver to fetch the remainder of our troop. This meant that we would be here for at least a few days.

I played with the boys and cadged some thin horse hide and some small pieces of hardwood. Iulius took a long time before deciding to give me a knife. I used it to make the handles for the awls. As usual I only did enough to show others and this was Iulius.

He asked, "What are you making now?"

"These handles will hold the needles for sewing leather." Iulius repeated my words in proper Latin and I repeated them. This was a good way of learning. I was not faking because my Latin was still very poor.

Again he asked, "How do you know this?"

"I do not know." I looked into his eyes while saying this or he would think it was a lie. "I see pictures and just make what I can remember."

When he was busy I got a small stick that had been burnt on the tip and I started to put down a pattern on two pieces of leather. There was more leather that could take the pattern in a smaller scale.