Chapter 2

In the end, Anne agreed to meet with me and we were able to hammer out a settlement. It was easier than I expected. When we met, Anne acted relieved over the lack of rancor. I'm not saying we didn't snap at each other, but we did try our hardest to keep things civilized.

It helped that we both had one overriding concern; minimizing the impact on the girls. She was leery at first over the concept of sharing custody, but I was able to convince her that it was the best option for the girls. Of course it didn't hurt that I was able to sweeten the pot for her as well.

I had managed to locate a nice townhouse, about five minute's walk from the street where we were living. My unsolicited offer to let her move back into the house mollified her and silenced a lot of her concerns. I liked to think that it was the best solution to a bad problem. The two houses were close enough for the girls to have easy access back and forth, and it was a safe neighborhood. At the same time, it was far enough away to allow each of us our privacy.

Anne agreed to a temporary split in custody, while the divorce worked its way through the Court. I'd have them with me for a week, and then she'd take them for a week. It was an experiment to see if joint custody was feasible. At times it was tense, but we did manage to make it work. We soon learned how to act civilly to each other as long as custody issues were in play. As a result, the final custody order continued the shared custody arrangement.

The one thing I did insist on was that I did not want Johnson moving into the house, unless and until she married him. For that matter, I wasn't too keen on his staying overnight while the girls were with Annie. She put up a fuss about this until I explained my reasoning in terms of the girls. Both Lacey and Sarah were getting to an age where boys and sex were beginning to get more and more interesting. What type of message would it send if their mother was flaunting her boyfriend in front of them?

I had been worried about this condition because I thought it might be a deal breaker. But, she agreed far quicker than I thought possible. It was during this discussion that I discovered that Anne hadn't run off to be with Johnson, when she had left that first night. Instead, she had gone over to spend the night with a girlfriend from work. She had ended up living there, until she moved back into the house.

I'm not going to speculate what happened between her and Johnson. I'm sure that she spent a number of evenings with him, but we never talked about it. It was sort of a "don't ask don't tell" situation. Even though we were divorcing, I still felt jealous over the idea of her spreading her legs for that asshole.

At least I had the satisfaction of believing that the jealousy was mutual. When I first proposed this limitation, I thought it would appease Annie to let her know I would follow the same restrictions. I would refrain from having overnight guests at the townhouse, while I had the girls there.

I couldn't believe her reaction. She looked stunned before a brief flash of jealousy crossed her face. It was almost as though she had never considered the fact that the separation and divorce would free me up to start dating too.

With the custody issue resolved, the rest of the divorce went fairly smoothly. We did hassle about some of the property settlement, but in general things were split evenly. It helped that both of us worked, and had similar salaries. We agreed to the split and the paperwork got filed with the court. Then, all we had to do was wait the requisite six-months before the final order could be filed.

In the interim, I took Laura's advice and started to get on with my life. It took a bit of adjusting to get used to being a single man again; not to mention a part time single father of two young girls who were just beginning to explore the mysteries of pubescence.

It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, but you don't realize how life's little chores are divided between a couple until you are forced to assume them all. Annie and I had been like countless other long married couples. Over the years we had gradually divided up the myriad chores of running a household. It had gotten to the point where I couldn't have told you everything that Annie did. I don't think she was aware of all the things I did, either.

One prime example was paying the bills. Anne was the financial guru in our house. She would sort through the mail each day. She had a system laid out for payments. I was aware that she did it, but was happy to ignore the whole thing. Now, I had to deal with it, and figure out my own system. I got it done, but it was a hassle I would have just as soon avoided. I won't tell you the panic I faced when I realized that I would have to deal with taxes too.

As for the girls, I was grateful that Anne was around, and that the girls felt more comfortable going to her with most of the issues relating to the changes in their bodies. She was better prepared to handle those types of issues. But, even with her help (and Laura's), I couldn't escape everything.

The first time I needed to figure out which type of pad or tampon to buy for Lacey when she began to menstruate, was a total embarrassment for all concerned. This was not even to mention the eye opening experience I had when I took the girls 'back to school shopping' for clothes, and Lacey needed to be fitted for a bra.

I was a typical father. I fought with the girls over the clothing that they wanted to wear and dreaded the moment when they started to date. I rebuffed their efforts to grow up before their time. I didn't want to let go of my little girls. I was thankful when Anne and I reached a stage in our dealing with each other where we could coordinate our responses, so the girls couldn't play us off one another.

Another big adjustment was just getting used to the fact that Annie wasn't there anymore. I missed the sense of companionship. When you've been with someone for fifteen years, they become part of you. You don't realize how much you miss the little conversations, and the shared experiences, until they are gone. I missed having Anne to gripe to after a hard day at the office, and our annual good-natured arguments on where we would go on vacation. I even missed hearing the little snips of gossip she would pass on about the women at the country club. But most of all, I missed having her to cuddle into, as I fell asleep.

One thing that I found very strange was that sex was the thing that I missed the least. Maybe it was because it was the easiest thing to replace. Anne and I had enjoyed a healthy love life; but let's face it, how much time do you spend making love each week?

I found myself missing the little things that make up a relationship. Even when we were in separate rooms, Anne and I had always been aware of each other. That casual companionship was the thing I missed most of all.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't lonely or pining away. I had my hands full when it was my week with the girls, and I had an open invitation to Laura and Ray's whenever I wanted to stop by. I also soon discovered that Laura hadn't been joking when she told me that I would be a popular date.

It wasn't a week after Laura and I had talked, that I got a call from a nurse friend of hers, inviting me over for a home cooked meal. Sally was a gem; earthy, compassionate, nurturing. Perhaps most importantly; she didn't remind me in any way, shape, or form, of Anne.

Sally was the perfect choice to ease me back into the world of single men. She knew I was coming out of a relationship, and she didn't have any desire to 'catch me on the rebound'. She wasn't looking to replace her deceased husband, either. When she invited me into her bed, it was for out mutual enjoyment. I'll never forget what she did for me, nor the fun we had together.

My time with Sally was an eye opener. From the beginning it was obvious that the relationship was casual. Neither of us was ready for a long-term commitment. We simply enjoyed our time together, and parted friends before it got too messy.

That relationship taught me a lot. It restored a lot of my confidence. More importantly, it showed me that I was not ready to engage again in the hard work necessary to form a deep commitment.

Relationships have stages. There is an excitement about a first date or a new relationship that is indescribable. You go out of your way to put yourself in a good light. On a first date or the first few months of a new relationship you consciously work to impress. You go out of your way to be charming and witty. You want to sweep them off their feet.

It's hard to 'just be yourself' when you are working to impress someone.

I think it's the uncertainty. The butterflies wondering where the night will end up, or whether there is a chance that the relationship will be consummated. The tension of trying to discover more about the person you are with and whether you are attracted to them. It's all part of the mating dance that we all learned in high school.

But, for the same reasons, new relationships tend to be superficial. You don't know the other person well enough to honestly judge whether there is true compatibility. Lust and infatuation take the place of deep commitment. Maybe that's why so many 'whirlwind romances' fail. By the time you wake up and realize you have caught the person you are pursuing, you discover that you have no idea who it is you've caught.

At the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil, a long-term relationship takes a lot of work. It doesn't happen by accident and it can't be maintained by autopilot. You need to keep working at it in order for it to stay healthy.

I'm sure that part of it is how people change their behavior as a relationship matures. We all act differently with our spouse, than we do around people we don't really know. I'm sure you have heard the phrase 'familiarity breeds contempt'? While I don't know if I would go that far, I would say that familiarity does breed complacency. When you've been with someone for a while, you lose your inhibitions about hiding bad habits. You don't feel you have to try your hardest anymore, as there is no longer a need to impress your partner.

Maybe that is what happened to Annie and me. Somewhere along the line, we lost the focus on our relationship. That allowed Johnson to slip in and steal Annie away from me. He came in fresh and on his 'best behavior', and swept her off her feet.

As the months passed, I grew accustomed to not having Annie around. I discovered that being single again had its advantages as well as its disadvantages. To my surprise I found that I enjoyed getting back into the dating game. Luckily my friends gave me my space and I didn't get set up on too many blind dates with a friend of a friend. I had the ability to pick and choose my companions, and I had a lot of fun.

I don't think I was obnoxious with my dating. I generally went out with women from my own generation. I listened to Laura's advice and dated for fun. My criteria were based more on compatibility than sex appeal. I wanted to date women I could be comfortable with. I was looking for companionship. If I did share a bed with a date, it flowed from what had come before. I didn't go out, simply looking to get laid.

I was up front with my dates on where my head was at. Although I was in better shape than most after my divorce, I wasn't in any hurry to jump back into a long-term relationship either. If I got the vibe that my date was looking for a fast trip on the bridal highway, I backed out as gracefully as I could. I didn't want to lie to anyone. I didn't need to. I didn't want nor need a permanent companion. I'd date someone for a while and then move on with no regrets on either side. I was taking advantage of my newfound freedom to let my hair down a little.

I used my dating to explore new things. If one of my companions was interested in an activity that I knew nothing about, my motto was to try it at least once. I wanted to be open to new possibilities. I discovered a newfound interest in blues and jazz, when one attractive lady introduced me to smoky club that I never knew existed. I scared myself silly on roller coasters pretending I was eighteen again. I rediscovered my enjoyment in sailing and boating.

My new attitude also affected my sex life. While I may not have been trolling for sex, I didn't have any trouble getting as much as I could handle. Overall, the variety of my sex life improved dramatically as I opened myself to new ideas. I wasn't into anything too kinky, but I soon realized that I had a golden opportunity to live out some of my fantasies.

I became open with communicating my desires and shared fantasies with some of my girlfriends. In most cases, I was able to find some way to fulfill the fantasies that they shared with me. In return, my fantasies got fulfilled as well. Outdoor sex, plenty of oral, role playing, anal, even some spanking and BDSM games. I tried it all and had a lot of fun finding out what appealed to me. By the first anniversary of my divorce, my sexual horizon had broadened considerably.

As the months passed, my relationship with Annie also improved. We tended to deal mostly with the issues of custody but we had gotten beyond politeness to flashes of friendliness. I like to think that our willingness to work together and compromise during the divorce helped.

We were able to look back and remember the good times we had together without the haze caused by a frenzy of divorce-inspired hatred. I'm not going to say that I forgave her for ruining the marriage, but I was more willing to let bygones be bygones.

Looking back, the turning point occurred about fifteen months after the divorce had finalized. It was my week to have the girls but on Friday night, I had bundled them off to spend the night with Laura, Ray and their kids. I had a special date planned for that evening with a special friend.

I was going out with Sally for her fortieth birthday. Even though I didn't love Sally, I did care deeply for her. Although we had never dated exclusively, we remained good friends. You see Sally and I had recognized early in our friendship that a long-term relationship would never work. We would have torn each other apart. But with that tension out of the away, we found our way to a lasting friendship with benefits. We still got together occasionally, for a night of passionate play.

I knew that Sally was a little distraught over turning forty so I wanted to do something special for her. Since we were both between significant others, I planned an evening where I pulled out all the stops.

I got reservations to the hottest restaurant in town followed by tickets to a play she wanted to see. After that, I had reserved a suite downtown, and was planning on serving her breakfast in bed on Saturday morning. I wanted to make it a night she would remember forever.

The night began beautifully. I was looking to create a romantic setting so I dusted off the tux and recruited Laura's help in getting Sally to wear a gorgeous evening gown. The look on her face when I stepped out of the limo to pick her up was priceless. It was almost wistful as if she wished there were a chance for the two of us to get together. As we drove to dinner, we sipped champagne and flirted like star-crossed lovers.

I went out of my way to dance attendance on Sally's every whim. I played the part of her ardent admirer. To look at us, you would have thought that I had the engagement ring hidden in my pocket just waiting for the right moment to surprise her.