Chapter 29

"Sorry, Tony. She doesn't want to talk to you."

"I understand."

I'd wanted to talk to Robbie everyday since I'd gotten suspended, but my evening walks hadn't left me that much freedom. On the baseball field I'd tried my best to treat her like a player and not let our personal baggage interfere.

We'd won both sides of the double header, though the second game was a lot closer than I would have liked. Then Mom made my day by deciding that since Mr. Reed was suspending my suspension, she could ease up too. I was free. And my first mission was Robbie's house.

"You'll tell her I stopped by?" I asked, looking at my toes and scuffing my feet.

"Of course I will. And Tony?" I looked up. "You've done a great job helping with the team. Roberta's never hit better."

"I just shortened her stride. It was pretty obvious."

"Not to her last five coaches."

I smiled thanks and turned toward my bike.

"Daddy!"

"Yes, Beaver."

"You can ask him to come in."

Mr. Tate opened the door wide and ushered me in. Robbie was standing on the stairs, wearing cut-offs and a half shirt. The late afternoon sun flooded the upstairs windows and created a halo effect around her. I just stared.

I was vaguely aware of her dad leaving, saying something about being in the kitchen. I was more aware of my heart beating and a feeling of lightheadedness. God, she was beautiful.

Then she turned her back on me. "You'd better come up," she said over her shoulder.

I didn't move until she was completely out of sight. Was this love? Or lust? I climbed the stairs and walked to her bedroom.

She'd sat on the bed and was waiting. "What can I do for you, Coach?"

"I didn't come as your coach. If that's why you agreed to see me, I'd better go. I came as Tony."

"I, uh, I knew that. It's just... Damn, I don't know."

"Welcome to my world."

"I'm sorry you got in trouble."

"Why? It wasn't your fault."

"It's just... if I'd talked to you..."

"Mr. Parker and I were meant to bump heads. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut. I didn't."

"I still feel responsible. If you hadn't been mad at me..."

"I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at me."

"Still..."

"Old news. I'm unsuspended, so I can coach the team without hiding in the dugout and get back to regular life."

"But you're... you're going to play, aren't you?'

"I can't. I missed try-outs. I'm not on the roster.

"You fucking idiot!"

"I..."

"You big baboon. Your name was on the roster before try-outs even began. Why do you think Hallowell and Calloway only picked eleven? We all knew you were on the team. Kevin knows he's only shortstop till you come back."

"I..."

"What kind of twit are you?"

"I..."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Sparkling conversationalist."

"I..."

"Tony, sit."

I started to sit on the bed with Robbie, then changed my mind and pulled over her desk chair. I needed a second to clear my head. I was on the team. I was off suspension. Robbie was talking too me. Overload.

"That's great," I said after a few seconds.

"Tony, you're an idiot."

"I love you too."

"You need someone to look after you."

"Are you volunteering for the job?"

Robbie gave me an appraising look, then ignored my comment. "So you like to fuck little girls."

The problem was out there now. But, what do I say, 'Yes, I like to fuck little girls; at least Mikee and Kelly'? I'm pretty sure that wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was true.

"And big girls," she added before I'd come up with an answer. "Tami told me about Paula, and Alana."

"Tami's got a big mouth."

"She was trying to make me understand about you and the little girls."

"Tami's an angel. And Mikee's not that little. She's a seventh grader after all. A lot of eighth graders go out with seventh graders."

"But you don't go out with her. You just fuck her."

"It just kind of happened. We both have fun and don't want any more."

"I can understand Mikee, but a fourth grader?"

"Like I said, it kind of just happened. And, actually, Kelly was the more aggressive of the two."

Robbie's eyebrow raised half-an-inch. "Tami says Mikee wants to be your next girlfriend."

Oh, God! "I'm not sure there'll be a next one. If I've blown two in a row, maybe I should quit."

Robbie cocked her head and gave another one of her appraising looks. I felt like I was under a microscope. "You want to tell me about it?"

"Not really." I sighed. "It's really all Tami's fault. She had this really bad day last year and her shoulder muscles were tied in knots. Anyway I went home with her..." I told Robbie everything. About massages that led to other things. About Paula and the sex lessons. About Alana and her friends.

"You've had a hell of a year."

"Yeah." Tami stopped talking to me. An owl got killed just for living. I'd discovered I was capable of violence when I beat up Kenny. I'd gotten beaten up by Peter, then discovered my dark side when I put Peter in the hospital. I stopped talking to Tami. Robbie found out I was a pervert. I'd been suspended. All in all, a hell of a year.

"But you didn't fuck the little... the girls while you were with Tami."

"No, I messed around with them. Tami knew about it. Most of the time she was in the other room. But I didn't fuck them until after Tami and I broke... after Tami and I weren't Tami and I any more."

"I remember when you didn't want to fuck me. Did you start fucking them after you did me?"

"Before. They kind of made it okay."

Robbie opened her mouth, stopped, then closed it again. "So you fucked me here and them at the park. You were getting all you could handle."

"Not quite, but more than most eighth graders."

"Anybody else?"

I shook my head.

"Now what do we do?" she asked.

"Hell if I know."

"Tony Sims, I don't know whether to kiss you, kick you between the legs, or just never talk to you again."

It took an effort of will, but I opened my legs wide. "Do what you gotta do. But if I get a vote..." Robbie cocked her head. "... it won't be the last one."

"You'd rather get kicked in the balls... ?"

I nodded, though not enthusiastically.

"You're either the slickest con-man in the country or..." she stood and stepped in front of me. "Stand up."

I did, just barely resisting an impulse to cover my crotch with my hands.

"You're sure about this?"

God, no! She wouldn't really... I nodded.

Robbie flowed onto me, her arms going around me, her lips covering mine. I hesitated before I enclosed her in my arms and returned the kiss for all I was worth.