Chapter 7

Saturday morning we all played golf, splitting up first into two threesomes. I played with both my parents, while Uncle Bunny played with Grace and Jane. We went first, and were working on our second round of drinks in the restaurant, before they finally finished up and joined us. Uncle Bunny had made a thirty foot putt on the eighteenth green, to break ninety for the first time in his life. He was still hitting his driver very well. We all had a nice lunch, with everyone seeming in good spirits.

Monday, Dad was going to tell Mr. Lucas that everyone had agreed to the terms of the sale. Mama and Uncle Bunny were going to go into Bolling, on Tuesday, to sign the necessary papers at the bank. On Wednesday, Dad was flying to Omaha, to look over the buildings, meet with key employees, and examine all the other assets of the Lucas company.

We were all sitting together in the back of the limo, heading back home, at about four o'clock, when Mama asked me about the phone call from Brenda the day before. She asked me if she still needed to set up a meeting for Brenda and me. I told her she didn't need to do that now, because Brenda and I still needed a little more time to make some adjustments to this new relationship we were attempting. Mama looked at me, questioning me more with her facial expression, than she had with the words she spoke.

"I'm sure it's going to be fine, Mama. There's still some tension about how things turned out before, but nothing we won't be able to work on over the summer. I'm going to call Brenda tomorrow, and invite her to have lunch with me at the club, on Monday, after I finish my lesson with Dave. You don't have to worry. Brenda and I both want to get everything resolved."

"Georgia phoned me first thing this morning, Kenny. She's not as optimistic as you are. In fact, she thinks the situation is far worse than it was before."

"That's because she doesn't know everything that Brenda and I know. I'll bring Brenda home with me on Monday, and she can have dinner with us. You'll see then."

"Bertie, give the boy some time to sort all of this out. If she's coming over on Monday, you'll be able to see for yourself how they're getting along. Georgia isn't the most reliable judge of these things. She's too caught up in all of this. She isn't able to provide you with an unbiased opinion. I wouldn't consider her opinion to contain any valid assessment of the true situation. It sounds to me like Kenny already has everything well in hand." Dad had ordered and drank at least five highballs at the club. He and Uncle Bunny were celebrating the new acquisition. Mama hadn't participated as much as they had, switching over to iced tea after having only two drinks with alcohol.

Uncle Bunny was asking Grace and Jane whether they wanted to go to the dance at the club that evening. His invitation included all of us, but he was trying to get Grace and Jane feeling more comfortable, socially. Mama begged off when he first asked, because she wanted to be well rested for this fund raiser all of them were going to on Sunday. I think it would have ended right there, with none of us going, until Uncle Bunny happened to mention that the Connors would be there. Grace made the first remark about what Uncle Bunny had said.

"Well, if Goldilocks is going to be there, I'm sure that Jane won't want to miss out." Grace was only teasing Jane, but there was a hint of residual distrust lurking in her remark. I laughed out loud, for some reason. Giving Brenda the nickname Goldilocks just seemed so appropriate to me. Her hair color, and the way very few things pleased her.

"I'm willing. Maybe after you see us dancing together tonight, you'll quit worrying, Mama." I looked at Mama, trying to appear more confident than I felt, hoping to allay her fears about Brenda and me. This whole thing could blow up in my face. It would, if I didn't hurry up and figure out some way to get Brenda calmed back down again. I'd already had enough time to reflect on my earlier venting with Brenda. I realized I'd been pushing her too hard. The main thing was to let her know that I wasn't buying this whole victim routine she was selling. She might have her mother and Mama convinced that she and I were some perfect match, needing only for me to be more reasonable, but I was beginning to understood the way she worked. I understood her better now than I ever had before.

If you totally discounted all of the things she said about liking me, everything else she said had to do only with her wanting money. I didn't really matter to her, and I probably never had. Given a choice between me and Darryl, she had a preference for me. This preference wasn't anything so strong she hadn't been perfectly willing to switch over to Darryl, when she thought the situation called for it.

I needed to adopt Brenda's ability to feel one way, but pretend to really feel another. If I wasn't able to do what Mama required of me, I would pretend to do it, at least until I found something else I could do to please her as much. I was beginning to pay attention to the way everyone who came into contact with Mama had to do something special to please her. We all had roles to play. Gerta and Hans seemed to please her the most consistently. I was going to have a talk with Gerta soon, and ask her for some advice on how to get along good with Mama. I had already learned a lot, just by watching her, and by watching how Dad managed it. I wanted to find some way to please her, just the same as the rest of them did. It meant I'd have to take some lessons and learn how to do that.

We had an early dinner, then all of us went upstairs to dress, except for Uncle Bunny. He went home to get himself ready, telling us he'd meet us at the club at around eight o'clock. I wore a nice looking blue suit. It was a brand new one that Mama had recently purchased it for me. Mama had bought it from the same tailor who was making my new school uniforms for the fall term.

Because of my recent growth spurt, I had already outgrown most of the clothes Mama had bought for me when I first came to live with her. One consequence of all my recent growing was that Uncle Bunny had found a group that was taking all of my outgrown clothes, giving them to a program in Bolling being run for foster care children. Some lucky boys were getting some really nice clothes. Some of these, I'd scarcely worn at all. I also found out that Dad and Uncle Bunny had started a program of donating unsold bakery products from Dad's company to various homes and shelters in the area. Uncle Bunny had done some research, discovering a whole series of tax write offs to be gained for these type of gifts to non profit organizations.

We got to the country club at eight o'clock, all of us except for Uncle Bunny who was late again, as usual. Grace and Jane looked very pretty in their new evening dresses. Mama had loaned them some of her nice jewelry to wear. You could see they were excited to be out at a nice place, and all dressed up. Mama had decided to wear a modern dress, one that made her fit in perfectly with the other ladies at the club.

At eight thirty, Brenda and her family walked into the club restaurant. The band hadn't started playing yet, but everything had already been converted over for the dance. I watched them get a table all the way over on the other side of the room. They were far away from where we were sitting. Brenda was wearing a dress I had seen her wearing once before. It was a gold color, and it just missed looking perfect for her hair. If the dress had been a little darker, or her hair a little lighter, it might have been perfect for her.

I was already planning on how to proceed for the evening. I was planning on dancing with Grace first, followed by Mama, and then Jane. I didn't want to seem too anxious to Brenda. I wanted her to wonder whether I would ask her or not. After I danced with all the women at my table, I planned on then going over to ask Brenda for a dance. If she said yes, then we'd dance. While we were dancing, I'd invite her out to the club for lunch, and maybe, some tennis, on Monday. If she said no, I'd still stand there, and ask her to be my guest for lunch on Monday. If she asked me why I wanted to take her to lunch, I'd tell her it was so we could discuss our differences. If she said no to my invitation for lunch, I was planning on acting surprised by her refusal, and then I'd go ask Mama to help me with Brenda again. It would look like I was trying my best, but Brenda wasn't cooperating. Let Brenda feel Mama's anger, not me.

I didn't even feel bad about planning and performing this deception. I was only doing the same thing all of them always did to me. I'd been over everything several times, satisfied with my action plan. I saw Emily and Gary walking in with their mother, but Mr. Carstairs wasn't with them. Brenda stood up and waved, getting Emily's attention, then pointed to an empty table only about fifteen feet away from theirs. Because of my new flexibility, I quickly amended my action plan to include Emily also. Shortly after Emily arrived, the band started playing, and the lights were dimmed throughout the room. The first song was a slow one, and the man who was playing the piano started to sing.

"Dance with me please, Grace?"

"No thank you, Kenny." I hadn't included that possibility in my action plan. I sat back down, having stood up before I asked Grace to dance. I looked over by the main entrance door, and saw Uncle Bunny walking quickly towards our table. He was forty minutes late, but that wasn't too bad for Uncle Bunny.

"Sorry I'm running late. I couldn't seem to reach anyone on some calls I needed to return. You all look great. Who wants to make this old man happy, and dance with him?" I was surprised to see Grace stand up, offering her hand for Uncle Bunny to take. She had just turned me down a minute before. They walked out on the dance floor to start dancing, and I stood up, heading to the bathroom. When I got back, they were playing a fast dance, and Uncle Bunny was dancing with Jane. My parents were out on the dance floor to, dancing together. Grace stood up, leaving for the restroom, just as soon as I sat down again. I nervously checked my fly, ran my tongue over my front teeth, wishing I'd checked my face in the mirror, to see if I had something stuck on it. I tried to check for boogers too, being as subtle as I could manage while doing it.

My whole action plan disintegrated after, first Jane, and then Mama, refused my offers to dance with them. When Mama suggested I go ask Brenda to dance with me, I realized she had outmaneuvered me again. When the next slow song started, I dutifully went to ask Brenda to dance with me. She hesitated, but only for a few seconds, before standing up to accept my outstretched hand.

"I'm surprised you decided to ask me to dance, Kenny. Especially after all those things you said to me last night."

"My mother told me to come ask you, but I was planning to anyway. I think it's silly for the two of us to be fighting, Brenda. We've got the whole summer in front of us. I was looking forward to us being friends again. I even hoped we could play some doubles together, like we did last year."

"Are you going to apologize to me for all those things you said to me?"

"I'll apologize for all the ones that weren't true."

"All right, go ahead." I stayed silent, smiling at her, as we marked time to the music. "Well?"

"Well what? I already did apologize."

"That wasn't an apology. You have to say you're sorry, then take it all back." The dance ended and I tried to pull Brenda back towards her table, but she stood there, resisting my efforts to do so. "I'm waiting, Kenny."

"Do you like the dresses that Jane and Grace are wearing? Mama bought both of them so many new clothes. It took us almost an hour to bring them all in from the limo. I think she really likes both of them a lot." Brenda looked over at our table, looking to see for herself, the two dresses they were wearing. I could almost feel the disappointment and yearning emanating from inside Brenda's little cash register, the one she substituted in place of a missing heart. "We had fun that time we all went to Springfield. Remember, we bought all that discounted stuff from that one clothing store that was closing? Isn't what your wearing tonight one of the dresses we bought then?"

"Why are you being so mean to me? All I've ever wanted was for us to be a couple. Most of the trouble has been because of you." Brenda looked close to turning on the tears.

"We can have a lot of lunches at the club, have fun at the pool and play tennis, Brenda. We can do a lot of things together, but we aren't going to be a couple. I can play the same game you've been playing, if that's what you want. I'll tell my mother I invited you for all the things I talked about, but I'll tell her you wanted even more. She already knows a little bit about how you are, and I can make her believe this whole thing is all your fault. Is that what you want?"

"You're ruining it for me, Kenny. I wanted us to be married and everything, but now, it's ruined."

"You can marry Darryl. He has money, and maybe I'll be willing to screw you after you do. When I find someone who just loves me, and not my parent's money, I'll quit doing stuff with you. It won't be so bad, you and Darryl will still have each other. He'll sneak over and screw Claudia, and you can sneak over to screw me. If you want, I'll let you bring Emily over too, and we can both take turns with her."

Brenda walked away from me then, her tears all but forgotten, replaced by an anger so great, it made her face very red. I looked at her walking away. I tried to look like a rejected suitor, hurt by being spurned. When I returned to our table, I told Mama that Brenda wouldn't agree to stop seeing Darryl. I told her this was something I needed before Brenda and I could get back together as a couple. I wanted to see how Brenda was going to explain this to her mom and mine. Even if she denied it, which I was sure she would, I could say she was lying to them.

Ten minutes after Brenda walked away from me, she and Emily both got up, heading off to the ladies room. Seeing them leave, Mama got up, going over to greet the remaining Connors. Her real purpose was to have a little tete a tete with Brenda's mom. I pretended to pay attention to the other dancers still out on the dance floor. There was a short intermission after the next song, and I saw Brenda and Emily coming back. There was a hurried wrapping up of their discussion by our moms, and then my mom took Brenda aside, to greet her, but also to ask her some questions about what I'd told her. It was funny watching Brenda shaking her head no to my mother, and then the look of fear on her face, when my mother laid down the law to her. This was something I found very satisfying. It was Brenda's lies and deceptions that started all of this turmoil between Mama and me. Now, she was finding out I was willing to do the same to her.

When the band came back, I went over to Emily's table, asking her to dance. She tried to refuse, at first, but her mother almost forced her to accept. I hadn't seen Emily dancing with anyone at the dance, but there were only a few young guys there. I knew that she didn't get along with Richard at all. If she was going to dance, it was probably either me or Uncle Bunny, as most of the men were busy drinking, or else dancing with their wives. Finally, when the song was almost half over, Emily agreed to dance with me.

"Why are you mad at me, Emily? I'm just doing the same thing you and Brenda do?"

"You don't have to be so mean to her, Kenny. When she gets upset like this, it isn't much fun being around her. I wish you'd either decide to stop being friends at all, or else make up with each other. Right now, all I do is listen to her complaining about all the things you're doing."

"I offered to be friends with her, but that isn't what she wants."

"She really loves you, Kenny. You don't believe it, but she does."

"Emily, that isn't true. She might say she loves me, but look how she really acts. Would you do what she did, if you really loved someone? She wants to marry someone with money, and I don't think she cares who it is. Her plans for the rest of the time, after she's married someone rich, is to go on doing whatever makes her happy. She doesn't care if anyone else is happy, not as long as she is. I told her I'd do fun things with her, but I didn't want to be more than friends. I'm even willing to do all the sex things she wants to do. After you let me screw you one time."

"She told me you still want me to let you do it to me, but I told her the same thing I told you. I'm not going to do it. She and I are friends, but not that good of friends."

"I don't know why you are so set on not doing it with me. It isn't that much more than we already did. I just need for you to do it one time, and then I wouldn't bother you about it again. You need to pay me for lying to me like that. You might like it enough to want to do it more too. Even if you didn't, Brenda would owe you a lot for helping her out."

"You've really changed a lot, Kenny. You've gotten meaner. I used to think you were too nice, but not anymore." The music stopped and Emily dropped my hand and moved back. "Take me back to my table, Kenny. Please don't ask me for anymore dances." I took her back and went over to our table, sitting in my regular seat, next to Mama.

"Emily's going to talk to Brenda for me. She says Brenda doesn't even like Darryl that much. She thinks it might be another boy, but she doesn't have any idea who it is." Mama listened to me until I was finished, then she spent the next ten minutes staring over at the Connor table. I waited, wondering what she was going to do. She placed her hand over mine, squeezing it, never taking her eyes off of Brenda while she did so. I was looking at the Connor table too, and I saw Brenda frown when Mama put her hand over mine. Brenda knew I was sitting there, scoring points with Mama at her expense.

Not much else happened until right before the dance finished. Brenda came over to our table, asking me to dance with her. We started out towards the center of the dance floor, but Brenda pulled me over to the back, closer to the stand which the band played from.

"Why did you tell that lie to your Mother?"

"Which lie? I told her several. It doesn't matter which one, I guess. I just wanted you to know I could do the same things you're always doing. I'm going to keep telling my mother about the bad way you treat me, even if I have to make it all up. Now that she knows for sure that you screwed Darryl, she'll believe me when I tell her about all the other things you're doing. You don't play fair, so I'm not going to either. Before this is finished, your mom and mine are going to be pulling out each other's hair, and my father is going to put your father out of business. Did you know it was my mother's father who made your grandfather lose all of his money? That was because your father said something to him, something he didn't like very much. You better be careful if you don't want history to repeat itself."

"You're lying. That wasn't the reason he went broke."

"My father told me, Brenda. He was right there when it happened too. I'm willing to treat you nice again, but not if you keep trying to get your way all the time, and using all these other people against me. I want you to stop pretending things are different with us than they are. You told me once that I may as well be rich, because of the way I get to live like I do. I really believe you're going to marry a rich guy someday, but I know it won't be me.

I know a lot of boys at the Academy, boys whose parents are as rich, or richer than mine. We can be good friends, helping each other, or we can not be friends, staying away from each other. I wouldn't want us to have to be enemies, trying to hurt each other, but if this is what you want, I'll do it that way too."

"I really do like you a lot more than I like anyone else, Kenny. I probably still love you. I want us to be back together, just like before."

"You had the chance for that to happen, Brenda, but now, too much has gone wrong between us. If I were you, I'd take one of those two choices I'm offering you now. If you decide to do it any other way, I don't think you're going to like being poor."

"Can we at least leave Emily out of it? She's really mad about us bringing her into our problems."

"I told her what I wanted from her. She told me she lied to help out her friend. She said she can lie to me if she wants to, and I can't do anything. This is the price she has to pay me for what she did. When that's done, Emily can do whatever she wants, from then on." We were still out there dancing after three slow songs in a row, but then the band started playing a fast song, and we left the dance floor. Brenda had all but confirmed she wanted us to be friends. She was listening to what I was telling her, something she hadn't been willing to do before. "I'm going to stop by our table before I take you back to yours. Smile at Mama, and agree with whatever I'm telling her. We need to make sure Mama can see that you're happy with me again. You don't want her being mad at you if you can help it."