Chapter 37

As soon as Elizabeth called our house, to let Gerta know the terribly sad news about Uncle Bunny, Gerta and Hans stepped in and immediately knew they needed to take over. It was as though they had been on some kind of standby alert, just waiting for an emergency situation such as the one they now faced. Hans placed a phone call to Dad's office, and told him the grim news. Gerta climbed the stairs and went through to Mama's closed bedroom door. She paused for a brief period outside, knowing that telling Mama that Uncle Bunny had died would be one of the hardest and saddest duties she would ever have to perform. Someone had to do it though, and Gerta wasn't going to shirk away from performing that duty.

I was in third period when a call came in, requesting I be sent to the administration building immediately. I had no idea why they would be taking me out of class like that. We were starting finals the following week, and all of the classes were doing study reviews for the exams. Inside the administration building, the school director's secretary pointed at a phone, and told me I needed to call home. I knew something bad had happened, I could tell by the way the secretary was trying so hard not to look at my face. I thought first of Mama. She had been working so hard these past few months, trying to supervise all the details as the golf learning center complex began to take shape.

When I called home, Hans was the one who answered the phone. I could tell right away he was crying, just by the break in his voice when he answered.

"Hans, this is Kenny. They told me to call home. Has something happened to Mama, or to Gerta?"

"Kenny, you need to come home, to be here with your Mama. Gerta is up with her right now, and it's very bad. It's Bunny." Hans had stopped talking, and I could hear him sobbing, out of control, even though I knew he was trying to cover the mouthpiece of the telephone to prevent my hearing. "Kenny, come home and help Gerta with your Mama. Bunny died this morning."

I don't remember sitting down on the secretary's desk. I do remember the terrible pain I immediately felt from hearing Hans informing me of Uncle Bunny's death. Uncle Bunny had been the person who was most responsible for rescuing me from my previous life. He'd chosen me. There is no way I could fully express the gratitude and the love I felt for him for that. No one else had ever chosen me, picked me out of a virtual sea of other people and said, 'this is the one I want'. For someone like me, simply to be picked, for almost anything, was a very rare treat indeed. He was the first to make me promises, promises he'd always kept. I grew up expecting almost nothing, and he completely transformed my perspective about life and living. I was only able to look inward when we had first met. I was both unable and unwilling to share my emotions with any other people. Because of Uncle Bunny's choosing me, I now had a real future to look forward to and enjoy. He'd saved me from leading a pretty miserable existence.

Now, hearing the terrible news of his death, I felt a deep sense of shame from knowing I'd never taken the opportunity with him to discuss the incredible impact he'd had on altering every single aspect of my life. I'd never properly thanked him for everything he'd done for me. Even though I felt bad about never having thanked him, I could, and did, take some degree of comfort from knowing that I'd told him I loved him, on several different occasions. He had been so smart, he had to know that I was functioning much better now, so much better than I had been when he first came to the orphanage to get me, nearly two years before.

The secretary waited silently, for me to regain my composure. When I finally wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my school blazer, I saw her standing beside me, a completed campus exit pass in her hands. I took it from her and thanked her, before leaving the building and walking out to my car. I didn't bother with changing, or with picking up anything to bring home with me. My place was with my remaining family. The family that Uncle Bunny had single handedly made possible for me. I had an ironic thought that Elizabeth was now a part of my real family. Ironic because, in the past, I hadn't really considered her family because of any blood relationship that she and I might have shared. Now, because she had been important to Uncle Bunny, that made her family to me.

When I got home, Gerta was still upstairs with Mama. Hans was in the kitchen, and he told me that Dad had arrived before me, and was sitting alone in his study. I went over to Hans and embraced him, remembering all the many times that he had told me stories about Uncle Bunny's childhood antics, and about his many conquests in the back of the limo. Hans had loved Uncle Bunny, and this was a loss to Hans every bit as much as it was to the rest of us. I stayed in the kitchen with him, both of us struggling to accept the fact that Uncle Bunny was gone.

I went to the door of the study, and was about to knock on the door, when I heard my father inside, giving vent to his own private, grief. My father was a very reserved and private man, someone who wasn't closely in touch with his emotions. In fact, he tried to give the impression that he never had any, with the possible exception of his temper. I knew he wouldn't care to be intruded upon at a time when he was overcome by his own sense of loss. Uncle Bunny might have been his only real friend. More than thirty years of close association had kept them connected in a strongand positive alliance. Money was the oil that lubricated their friendship, but, even for someone as reserved as my father, this loss had to have been utterly profound. I stood outside his study door, wishing that he and I had the closeness that would allow us to try to comfort each other. I made myself a promise that I would try to fill some of the void in Dad's life that Uncle Bunny's absence would create.

I climbed the stairs slowly, not anxious to learn how badly my mother was taking the loss of her only brother. Uncle Bunny had been her twin, the one person she had always been able to count on to be there for her. I had only just opened the door to Mama's suite when I heard her and Gerta weeping together. It wasn't the quiet, protracted weeping that Mama did during the first parts of her depressions. This was a loud, unrestrained, and violent weeping. It was the kind of weeping you expected to come from a mother having lost her infant child. Heart rending weeping. I stood twenty feet away from Mama's room, and the sound of their anguish quickly reduced me to shedding more tears. When someone you love dies, you cry first for yourself, mourning your loss, and the deep hole being left in your heart. Later, you cry for the pain the death caused others, usually people that you care about too, loved ones who are being impacted by the death.

I cried for everyone I loved, even Shirley, because, even though she wasn't that close to my uncle, she would suffer because of how his death would affect me. I finally summoned the strength to push ahead and walk into Mama's bedroom.

"Look, Bertie, Kenny's here. He came home to be here with you."

Gerta was crying, and hugging Mama to her, like Mama was a child. She signaled me with her hand, to come closer. It was obvious that she needed me to come take her place. I came over to the bed and took Mama in my own arms, sitting down in the spot that Gerta had vacated. I'm not sure that Mama was even aware of the switch we'd made.

"Gerta, please have Hans go over to Uncle Bunny's house and get Elizabeth to bring her back here with us. Uncle Bunny asked us to look after her, in case something like this ever happened to him." Gerta nodded and left Mama and I alone.

It was difficult for me to speak to Mama about Uncle Bunny at first. I started out by talking to her about how I wished that I'd thanked him properly for rescuing me, and for bringing me home to be a part of his own family. I hadn't appreciated it enough at the time, but in choosing me, he wasn't just bringing home someone for his sister to pretend to be a mother to, he was picking me to be a real member of his own family. Realizing that this was true, it made his picking me even more of an honor. I recounted for myself and Mama, all the things that Uncle Bunny had done to entertain, amuse, teach, protect and comfort me. It was like a wake of sorts, and it worked, because Mama started talking about her brother too, about the lifetime they had spent together, and all the shared incidents and adventures that had woven them together to form an unbreakable bond.

"I loved Bunny so much, Kenny. Too much sometimes, for it to be healthy for either of us, I suppose. No one could possibly be nicer than Bunny. He got all the nice, and I got all the strength and resolve. It might seem strange for me to say that to you, but, even with my illness, I was always the one who made the tough decisions. Bunny would come to me when he needed to make a choice that he really couldn't bear to make himself. He could never stand up to our father. He would go along with Daddy's wishes, even when he hated to do so. If it hadn't been for me, Bunny could have never gone off to study law. Thomas played a big part in that, but it was my idea for Bunny to try to find a replacement for himself, someone my father could train to take over the company someday. Running a big company like ours takes toughness, Kenny. You need to have the ability to make decisions that will affect a lot of other people's lives. Bunny couldn't make those kinds of tough choices. He was better off handling other problems, taking care of people by managing their accounts, and conserving their assets. I don't know who will look after all his clients now. We'll have to remember to look into that. Knowing Bunny though, I'm sure he had a plan for taking care of them. There are so many of his clients where he supplemented their income, without their knowledge. We have to continue that somehow, because he'd want us to do that."

"We have to take care of Elizabeth too, Mama. Uncle Bunny told me she made him happy when he came home to her at night. He said she was sweet, and not complex or demanding. He said he was going to speak with you about it, but then he didn't because of how upset you were with his decision not to have that operation."

"I was jealous of her. I resented how she was able to settle him down, and make him contented to be with her alone. I was never jealous of Georgia, at least I wasn't jealous after the first few years. I knew Bunny recognized that she was just using him, and when I finally understood he was just using her too, I felt better. I could even stand the thought that he had always loved her. He knew any marriage to her would be a disaster. Bunny always had his other woman, it was the one way he had of standing up to Georgia. I need to call Georgia soon, to be the one to let her know about Bunny. She'll take it very hard. I won't have any problems with Elizabeth now, Kenny. When she comes, have Gerta put her in Jane and Grace's room. I want her to stay with us until she decides what she wants to do."

"Dad is downstairs in his study. He's taking Uncle Bunny's death pretty hard. I stood outside his door, and he was in there crying."

"Of course he's crying. Bunny was his only friend in the world. Real friend I mean, not the boys he went to school with, or his business associates. He could complain about personal things with Bunny. They each knew most things about the other. He would tell Bunny things he wouldn't consider sharing with anyone else. If he loved anyone in this world, it was Bunny. I don't know who he'll use as an emotional outlet now. Not me, I'm sure."

"Mama, it has to be you. He doesn't have any other choices. You need to use him too, to tell him the kinds of things you'd only tell Uncle Bunny before."

"No, we couldn't change roles that way. Your father and I are both strong in ways Bunny wasn't. I'll miss Bunny's softer influence on my colder nature."

"You aren't cold, Mama. Dad might be, but his is probably only an act too. I think he's trying to be someone who isn't at all like he would have normally wanted to be. I think he believes he has to be like that in order to be successful. Do you think he's trying to be like your father was?"

"I don't think so. My father didn't have to pretend anything, and he didn't. He enjoyed confrontations, and rough and tumble infighting. He was completely ruthless, and he really couldn't stand it when people tried to keep him from something he wanted. Compared to my father, Thomas is as soft as Bunny was."