Chapter 25

I was in my room at five thirty, getting myself ready to speak with Shirley. I was mentally rehearsing what I was going to say to her. I was undecided between the direct confession route, or the hypothetical question gambit. Both had merit, but either might accomplish what I most feared. I was afraid that Shirley was going to listen to what happened, then decide that I wasn't someone she wanted to be friends with. Just thinking about that happening had me sick with worry, and too paralyzed with fear, for me to pick up the phone and dial her number.

How had it gotten to this point so quickly? We hadn't yet spent more than five hours in each other's company, and already I was worried about having her decide she didn't want to be around me anymore. I sat on the edge of my bed and stewed about my dilemma. I knew I was making too much of this. This was an area that I had decided to work on, after Brenda. Part of it had to be that I had been closed off emotionally for so long. When I decided to open myself up to feelings, maybe I went too far in that other direction. Perhaps, I needed to find some middle ground, where everything didn't always turn into life and death decisions. I was three days away from turning sixteen, way too young to be thinking about any long term commitments anyway. I liked Shirley, but we were just starting to get to know each other. I was getting all wound up over a situation that shouldn't be that important. It wasn't trivial, but it shouldn't be so critical that it left me too afraid to call my new friend.

At seven, I went downstairs for dinner, not having picked up my telephone. I was calmer, but still not ready to talk to Shirley about what had occurred. At dinner, Jane and Grace were both on their best behavior. They were probably hoping that I wouldn't mention anything about the night before. I decided to pay them back a little bit for their trespass into my room.

"Have you found anyone yet for that experiment you were going to do, Jane?" I was thinking about what Grace said, about how unimportant stuff like that was, especially if there weren't any real feelings involved. "You should get in touch with Brenda. I know she could help you prove who was right, you or Grace. I could ask her to help you with it, as a favor to me."

Grace had been chewing on her pork roast when I started speaking. By the time I finished, she was sitting there with her mouth closed, and a partially chewed piece of meat sitting on her tongue. Jane was blushing almost scarlet. Mama decided to ask for some clarification from Jane.

"What experiment is that, dear? It must be an important one for Kenny to volunteer to speak to Brenda for you." I jumped in, just to make sure that Jane or Grace didn't say anything that would get the three of us into too much trouble.

"Grace has this theory that, when you love someone, being with someone else, as long as it isn't love, isn't important. Jane thinks Grace is wrong, and they were looking for someone to prove which one of them is right. Since Jane finds Brenda attractive, I thought she'd be perfect for Jane to show Grace how wrong she is."

"That would be playing with fire, Kenny. I doubt that Brenda would cooperate in any event. Grace, do you really believe what you said?" Grace still had that meat in her mouth. She looked like a deer caught in a car's headlights, one who expected to be run over momentarily.

"We were speaking of boys, not other girls. We were just talking anyway." She looked over at Jane. It looked like she was almost ready to cry. Jane rescued her.

"Yes, it was just talk. Grace and I are very happy with just each other. I think Kenny makes a good point though. If someone really believes it shouldn't matter, then it shouldn't make any difference at all who the other one chooses as an experimental partner. Not all of us have a wide selection of potential partners to choose from. It's the act of betrayal, not who it was with, that should matter. Thank you, Kenny, for helping me to prove my point."

"I was happy to help. I know the two of you have been staying up late, trying to figure out which one was right. It had to be difficult, staying up late, going to work in the morning, and then rushing over to the golf course, to give playing lessons to Uncle Bunny." Dad's interest picked up when I said that about the girls coaching Uncle Bunny.

"You're the ones who've been teaching him?" Grace and Jane had the poise to nod at him without looking down at their plates. "Do the two of you know how much money you've cost me, just in the past month? At least two thousand dollars. That doesn't even take into account the emotional pain that losing to Bunny causes me. Bertie and Kenny have lost a very ripe pigeon as well. I must say that I'm surprised that it was you two that transformed his game. The way he's been playing lately, I was sure he'd been getting help from Nicklaus or Watson." Dad was only kidding with them, and when they realized this, they started to relax.

We got through the rest of the dinner with Dad telling Mama about his meeting with the department managers, giving me way more credit than I deserved for the meeting's success and efficiency. As always, hearing Dad say something nice about me had Mama beaming.

I stayed in the dining room after the others left and helped Gerta and Hans clear the table and set up the dining room for the next meal. When that was done, the three of us went into the kitchen. Hans was feeling good again, and was back to being a lot more helpful to Gerta around the house. He was still seeing his chiropractor, but now he went in only once a week for a heat treatment and adjustment. He told me that Dad had told the chiropractor to send the bills to his office. Over the past year, I had been trying to get Hans and Gerta to see Dad's many good points. I'd been trying to get Dad to treat Hans and Gerta more like good friends or family, and less like servants. It seemed to be working out well. Gerta didn't refer to him as 'that man' anymore, at least.

I had put calling Shirley off as long as I could, so I went upstairs and dialed her number before I lost my nerve. She answered quickly, so I wondered if she had been sitting in her room waiting for my call. I should have called her when I first got home from the club. That's what I'd meant to do before I lost my nerve.

"Hi, Shirley. How are you?"

"Hi, Kenny. I'm good. Did you have a nice day?"

"It was good, thanks. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, but there was a lot to do at work, and the time went quickly. I went out to the club to see Uncle Bunny. He's been practicing on the sly, and taking all our money when we play on Saturdays." I thought about my comment about there being a lot to do at work, and about the time passing quickly. I remembered that old saying about time going by quickly when you're having fun. Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"I've been thinking about last night, have you?"

"That's why I couldn't get to sleep. Things happened so fast."

"Do you think so? I didn't feel like that. I thought last night went super. Especially the part about Daddy getting a job, so we can still stay here. Mom's happy too. She didn't like it when Daddy worked Saturdays."

"I meant between you and me. It surprised me a little."

"Oh. I wondered if it would. I thought it would be okay to do that, if we're friends like you said. You said we could find out things from each other. I thought it would be all right, and I've been so curious about that French kissing thing. When you read about it, it doesn't sound very appealing. Now that I've done it, I understand what they mean when they talk about kissing setting women on fire. The thing I did with my hand, maybe that wasn't very nice of me, but you can't tell that much about them from just rubbing against them. I let you do that thing you said you wanted to do, with your hand, so I thought it would be okay if I touched you."

"It was fine, it just surprised me. I wasn't upset or anything. From what you had said, about having no experience, I wasn't expecting that." Shirley giggled.

"I told you I read my mother's romance novels all the time. You can't help wondering about certain things, and now I know. Those books make a lot more sense to me now."

"I'm glad I could help. When I was at work today, the strangest thing happened, and I don't know why. I needed a ride to the printer's, to get some forms printed, and this girl reached over, while she was driving me, and touched me like you did last night. There was no warning or anything. We were talking about what there was to do in Ridgeline, and the next thing I know, she was feeling me up there."

"Does this girl have a name? I mean you must know her if you're driving around in a car with her?" Shirley's voice had taken on a hard edge. I realized my mistake in not easing into it before just blurting out the end result.

"Her name is Ellen, and her mother works for us, and she helps her mother out with the phones when people call in their orders. I had just barely met her. I needed a ride to the printers, and she was waiting for her mother to get done with working, so I asked her for a ride, that's all. On the way there, she asked me to ask her out, so I told her we could have lunch or something. She said she wanted a regular date, so we were talking about Ridgeline, and the things to do here. I didn't want or expect her to do that."

"I'll bet. Did you tell her to stop?"

"I removed her hand and put it back on her side. I didn't know what else to do."

"How long was she touching you, before you moved her hand?"

"Not very long, maybe two or three minutes." Shirley slammed the phone down, making my ear ring from the sound of it. I should have said seconds, not minutes. I didn't know how long it was. I wasn't looking at my watch, trying to time it. In spite of her hanging up on me, I felt better. I'd told her what had happened, and that's what I'd wanted to do. I didn't know how long she'd be mad at me, but I wasn't feeling guilty anymore. The phone rang in my room. I picked it up, and it was Gerta telling me that Shirley was calling for me. I told her I'd take the call.

"Two or three minutes?"

"I meant to say seconds, I was nervous. I don't know how long it was. I was surprised at first, so I reacted slow. I wanted to make her stop as soon as she did it, but I couldn't think of how to do it without seeming rude."

"Were you hard?"

"If I'm awake, I usually am. If not fully hard, I'm usually semi hard."

"Which was it? Hard or semi?"

"Hard, but not because of her, or what she was doing. I was hard before she touched me."

"Because you wanted her to touch you. You were probably flirting with her."

"I'd been thinking about you a lot, all day. I've been worrying since it happened, hoping that you wouldn't get the wrong idea when I told you about it. I like you, and I didn't want you getting mad at me, and deciding you didn't want to be my friend anymore."

"If I did decide that, would it affect my Dad's job with your father?" That hit me hard. I hadn't thought of anything like that. She must not have a very high opinion of me, I thought, not if she believed I was capable of doing something like that. I told her it wouldn't, but I found myself wanting to end our phone conversation.

"Shirley, I need to get off the phone. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I need to get up at five thirty tomorrow. I'll give you a call." After we were off the phone, I changed for bed. I really was tired. Sad and tired. Her asking me that question had really bothered me. Was I going to have to start looking for ulterior motives in every girl I came into contact with? That was one of the things that had bothered me so much about Brenda. It wasn't me she was attracted to, not as much as what she thought I represented. Ellen had made a comment about me being the son of the owner too. Did Shirley just call me back because she was afraid I'd have my father decide not to hire hers?

Luckily, I fell into a deep sleep, right away. I don't remember dreaming. I was ready to go before six thirty, but Dad didn't come downstairs until almost seven. The ride in was quiet. I was rehearsing what I planned to tell Ellen when Dad finally spoke.

"Kenny, Bunny has brought something to our attention that you should be made aware of. There's a discrepancy between your listed date of birth, and your actual date of birth. Your listed birth date is in two days, but Bunny's research shows that your real birth date was on April twenty sixth. You've actually been sixteen for several months now. Bertie and I want to know which day you want to celebrate. There's more to it than that though, and it's going to be pretty complicated. Legally complicated. When that accident occurred, you assumed the identity of the deceased Masters child. You've been celebrating his birthday. All of the orphanage and adoption papers were based on that identity. If we decide to take steps to establish your true identity, it will open up a lot of different things that might better be left unopened, and unexamined. The possible legal consequences for the Coulter's are enormous, and it would also call into question our original adoption of you, an adoption that didn't proceed through normal channels."

"I want to stay who I always thought I was. To me, July sixteenth is my real birthday. I don't care about that other date. I don't want to change anything from the way it is now. Uncle Bunny thinks he's found a place that he can get Anne Coulter into, and she's agreed to go there. I think we should just let everything stay like it is."

"We were hoping you'd say that. All of us think it's for the best. After you turn eighteen, you might choose differently. You'll be an adult then, and they won't make any changes to the adoption decree once you're an adult. Had you chosen differently, Bunny told me that he would represent the Coulters, defending against any charges that might be lodged. There are statute of limitations issues that could be raised. Did Bunny tell you that Sister Clara has decided to stop being a nun? She's filed papers to be released from her vows. She doesn't want to leave the Church, just her vocation. I understand her request is being considered currently, and it is expected to be approved."

When we arrived at work, I told Dad I'd be working on relocating the phone room and the order desk. He told me to look around, but not to make any changes without checking first with him. I went over to the part of the building where the orders were turned in, but they didn't have any free space available over there. When I went back to the phone room area, I found Edith and Ellen both working on the phones, writing out orders. I sat down, wondering if I should try to help them, but I recognized the possibility that I might screw up, because of not understanding how to do things. I waited for Ellen to finish her call, but when she did, she pressed another button, and started tight in, writing another order. The same thing happened when Edith finished her first call.

After five more minutes of this, I figured this was a busy time for them, and I'd go off looking for some space by myself for awhile. I figured I'd just come back later when they weren't so jammed up with phone calls. I left for about forty five minutes, but when I came back, both of them were still busy writing out more orders. I had found two rooms that were together and empty, but they were on a different floor, and in a part of the building that was mostly used to store things. It didn't look like any place that I would pick to do my work in. It was almost ten thirty before Edith and Ellen had a break from having to field the constant calls. Edith got up to use the ladies room, and Ellen remained, answering incoming phone calls in her mother's absence.

"Does your mom need to see you all the time, or just regularly?"

"As long as she knows where I am, and can see or talk to me, there's no problem. She's just paranoid about something happening to me like it did to Bernice. I told her I'm different, that I'd never do anything like that, but she says Bernice probably thought that too. She got a big charge about meeting your father last night. I told her who you were, but she thought it was just a line, like I did. We both recognized your father though, and we heard you calling him Dad. Do you have your own office too?"

"No. I just kind of walk around seeing if I can help with anything. How hard would it be to move all these phone lines?"

"I don't have a clue. Mom said she'd like it if you moved Biddy Walters out of her office, though." She turned her head and pointed to a closed door. "She and mom hate each other because of something that happened years ago. I don't know the story behind it, but you should see them if they both happen to hit the ladies room at the same time, or the break room. It was probably some guy or something. Mom says Biddy's a whore. I don't know. The woman never said two words to me, ever since I started coming here. If you took over her office, it would make my mother's whole year. Just don't put her anywhere near mom if you do it."

"What does Mrs. Walters do?"

"Miss Walters you mean? She's some kind of accounting person. She has one of those big old Gestetner adding machines, the ones that make all that racket. That's another thing Mom hates, especially when she's a little bit hung over. I think she does final reconciliation's in there. Matches up sales and payments or something. She's worked here for about twenty years I think. My mother says they put her in this office, all by herself, because none of the other people in her department wanted to be around her." Edith came back then, and Ellen told her I was thinking about using Biddy Walters office for the new order taking room. From the way she was smiling, I thought Ellen was right when she said doing that would make Edith's year. I stood up and excused myself, but not before reminding Ellen that we had to go pick up the order pads at three.

I went up to see my Dad's secretary, to ask her about Biddy Walters. What she said was that Biddy was a good worker, but that she wasn't easy to get along with. She told me that Biddy audited accounts to make sure that everything was correct in the files. She was a senior accounting staff member who had been removed from any direct supervisory duties because she had problems dealing with people who made mistakes. Dad's secretary described her as a perfectionist. I went over to accounting, introduced myself, and asking the woman in charge to show me one of the files they would normally take to Miss Walters for auditing. She pointed at a full in box of folders on an unoccupied desk.

"Any of those in that wire box are ready to go to her. We'll need to have a drawing soon to see who takes them down to her." She made a face to show it was going to be the loser who took them down there.

"I'll take them, if that's all right?" She laughed.

"Have you ever met Biddy?"

"No, but I hear she's very good at what she does." The lady sniffed, indicating she didn't agree with what I said. "She isn't good at her job?"

"I didn't say anything. It isn't my place to criticize her. I'm sure she wouldn't allow herself to make any mistakes. When I was first hired, I worked for her for my first month. I almost quit ten times at least. She thinks new employees should be fully trained before they come to work here. She made my first month here an absolute hell. When they promoted her, and moved her to her own office, we were all relieved. We don't make any of the new people take files to her, just Jeannie, Kim and me. We all know what we need to do to stay out of trouble with her. No file leaves here unless one of us has checked and approved it first."

"So, the three of you do Miss Walter's job for her?"

"No, we make sure that the file is complete, and that all the information is for the right account. She does the audit."

"Wouldn't it be simpler to give her an office closer to accounting? Right now, she's two floors down, and on the other side of the building."

"And, that's too close, if you want my opinion. We don't mind making the long trip. The longer, the better."

I was really curious to meet this woman. I had a picture in my mind of someone like Mother Superior. When I got to her office, and knocked on the front door, a pleasant voice told me to come in. What I saw surprised me. It was a really attractive blond woman in her late thirties. I came inside and closed the door behind me.