Chapter 5: Another Sleepover

The next week and a half seemed like an eternity to me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate in class, I was a mess. The more I thought about what was going to happen that Friday, the more uncertain I became. What if I couldn't figure out what to do? What if I hurt her? Was Pete going to be watching and coaching? Would that make me freeze up? What if she chickened out? What if I chickened out?

I avoided the Myer's family as much as I could. Avoiding Pete turned out to be easy. He had a new friend, Ryan, who had a car, a beautiful '55 Chevy. So Pete was hanging out with him a lot. I came up with some flimsy excuses to get out of a couple of dinner invitations from Anne Myers. The thought of sitting across the table from Snookie and trying to act normal seemed impossible. I was sure I would be blushing from head to toe and would say something stupid. I was sure that the ever-vigilant Matt Myers would guess what was going on and would probably chase me out of the house with a shotgun. I was hopelessly paranoid. It was more of a time of nightmares than fantasies.

It even affected my nighttime activities. I didn't peek at Snookie's window any more. There didn't seem to be a point in that now; I was going to see everything she had up close and personal very soon. I wasn't even sure if I should be jacking off. I tried it a couple of times while I was imagining what we would be doing, kind of like a rehearsal. But then I became concerned that if I did it too much I might not be able to perform when the time came. I was too ignorant to realize that at fourteen, that is not a problem.

Just to add to my discomfort, on the Tuesday before the Fateful Friday I ran into Snookie at a neighborhood store where I had gone to get a soda. I was nervous about seeing her, but she didn't seem to be at all uncomfortable around me. She gave me big smile and she asked if she could walk home with me. I could feel my underarms breaking out in a flood of sweat, but I couldn't think of any way to get out of it, so I reluctantly agreed. As much as I was beginning to like her, until we actually 'did it', being around her was making me very uncomfortable.

When we started walking home she reached out and took hold of my hand. In some ways I still thought of her as the little girl across the street, so it seemed strange to be walking down the sidewalk hand-in-hand with her. When I tried to pull my hand away, she gripped it tighter. "What's the matter, PJ?" she teased. "Don't you want everybody to know I'm your girlfriend?"

"Hey, we hardly ever talk, except at dinner. Does that make us a couple?"

"Look, a girl can only have one first lover, and I've decided that you're going to be mine. So, like it or not, you're my boyfriend."

It still felt strange holding her hand. What if somebody I knew saw us? It would be all over school that I was holding hands with Pete's little sister, who was still in junior high. I tried to find a graceful way out. "What if your parents see us?"

"So what," she retorted, "they like you too. They would probably think it was cute, just a couple of young kids playing around. You worry too much."

Now she was swinging our clasped hands back and forth, as if she was determined to show the world that Snookie had a boyfriend.

"Are you scared about Friday?" she asked.

"A little," I admitted.

"Why? I mean, if anybody should be scared, it should be me, right? I mean, I'm the one with the cherry. You get to have fun, but it might hurt me."

"Don't talk about it that way. It should be exciting, not scary. It's only a second or two of pain, kind of like getting a shot, then the rest is pleasure, for the rest of your life."

"How do you know," Snookie countered. "You're a guy, and a virgin at that."

"Well, I've been doing some reading..."

"Oh great," she grumbled. "I wanted a lover and I got a reader. You've been readin' and I'm gonna be bleedin'."

"Stop it. You make it sound like we're sacrificing a sheep or something."

By now we had reached her house. Ryan's car was parked at the curb. "Crap, I was going to invite you in, but not with those two around. Come on," she smiled at me, and dragged me down the walkway that led toward the back of the house. She pulled me into a space between the back of the house and the little back porch. It was as close to a hidden place as we could find. We couldn't be seen by anybody in the house unless they came out on the porch.

"I think we need a little practice," she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She reached up and gave me a full, open-mouthed kiss. I wasn't sure how to react, so I tried to emulate what I had seen the guys in the movies do. I put one hand on the back of her head and wrapped my other arm around her waist and held her loosely while I returned her kiss. I experimented by putting my tongue in her mouth. That must have been the right thing to do, because as soon as I withdrew, she pushed her tongue into my mouth. It was all kind of awkward and messy, but she didn't seem to mind. I got the feeling that she didn't have much experience with kissing either.

I was happy to just be kissing a real girl, but Snookie was more aggressive. She grabbed one of my hands and pushed it under her shirt until my palm was resting on top of her tennis ball sized breast. It fit in my hand easily, but there was no mistaking the shape and feel; Snookie was becoming a woman. It was like holding a ripe peach; soft, smooth, and warm. Her pert little nipple felt like the stem of the peach poking into my palm. Because she was wearing a baggy T-shirt I hadn't noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra. I briefly wondered if leaving her bra off and "accidentally" running into me at the store was part of a plan. Maybe Pete wasn't the only schemer in the family.