Chapter 10

Sunday morning both girls were in bed when I woke up. Lindsey, however, was in front of me, like promised. My hard on was nestled between her ass cheeks. I think I could have left it there all day. When I stirred, I managed to wake up both girls.

"What time is it?" asked Lindsey, yawning.

I looked at my watch. "Eight."

Lindsey sighed. "We probably should get up. I know I've got a lot of chores today. Whitney, do you want the bathroom first?"

"Can't wake up," moaned Whitney.

"Fine," said Lindsey, disappointment in her voice.

Lindsey crawled out of bed and shuffled around the room, getting ready for her shower. The moment the door closed, Whitney was wrestling me around so she could kiss me. I flew out of bed and instinctively dropped to a defensive posture.

"What's wrong, Scott?" asked Whitney. She wore a devilish grin.

"No more," I said. "No more sex. This isn't right."

"Why not? We had lots of fun yesterday."

"No!" I yelled in a muted tone so I wouldn't attract attention around the house.

"You didn't have fun?" asked Whitney. She looked concerned.

"It was and it wasn't," I said.

"You don't like me," sobbed Whitney.

"Jesus Christ," I swore. "I'm not putting up with this shit this morning. You want to cry, don't do it around me."

I started heading to the door but was caught by Whitney who was grabbing at my leg.

"Don't go," cried Whitney. "Please. Don't go!"

"Let go of me, Whitney."

"Don't you love me anymore?" wailed Whitney.

"I love you as a brother loves his sister. Now let go before you don't have that love either."

"PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!" screamed Whitney.

I was worried that my Mom or Lindsey would hear that.

"Would you shut up?" I half-yelled. "You're gonna wake up Mom. This is the last time I am going to tell you this. No more sex."

Whitney let go of me. She was crying uncontrollably as I left the room. It broke my heart, but I didn't see any alternative.

Yet another layer of guilt.

Once again, I was outside, working on the yard to vent my frustrations. At least the lawn would be well trimmed. Not many people cut their grass that many times a week in February. Even in Florida.

My Mom came out with a glass of Ice Tea. I shut down the mower, wiped the sweat off my brow and took the glass.

"You sure the lawn needs cutting again?" asked Mom.

"It rained on Thursday," I said.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Whitney, would it?"

My heart stopped. Had she heard everything this morning?

I just shrugged at her.

"Why is she so upset this morning?" asked Mom. "She hasn't stopped crying since she woke up."

"Her and I had a little fight," I said. "About the sleeping arrangements."

It wasn't technically a lie.

"Scott, these girls are terrified," said Mom. "You can make certain sacrifices for the time being."

"Certain sacrifices?" I shouted. "What the hell do you think I've been doing since Dad left for Iraq?"

"Scott, please don't yell at me," said Mom evenly.

I, however, wasn't going to let it go.

"I have done everything I normally do and then everything Dad did. The girls? They never did shit. Did I ever complain? Ever?"

"No, but..."

"Don't ever talk to me about making sacrifices," I shouted. "Maybe the girls should start making some."

"Oh, like the sacrifice that they don't feel safe in the house because their Dad isn't there anymore? Or how about the sacrifice that they won't have a father to walk them down the aisle when they get married?"

"You just don't understand," I yelled. "He left me, too. He isn't going to be there for me, either. And you think the girls don't feel safe? News flash. I don't feel safe either. I bucked it up, though. I put on a strong front so those girls could feel safe. I'm done making sacrifices. From now on, you are on your own."

I knew as I walked away from her that everything I had said had been mean and spiteful. I knew I had been unfair to my Mom. I just didn't care anymore. I just didn't care about anything. I dropped to my knees about halfway across the yard and started bawling. Within moments, I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. It was my Mom. Tears were streaking down her cheeks, but she was smiling at me as best she could.

"Why Dad?" I sobbed. "Why not someone else?"

"Honey, war isn't fair to anyone," she said softly.

"I wish I could go over there right now and kill all those fuckers. The ones that killed him."

"Shh..."

My Mom rubbed my shoulders deeply. It felt comforting, soothing; releasing.

"It's just so unfair..."

"You know, I'm proud of you, Scott," said Mom softly.

"For yelling at you?" I cried.

"Actually, yes..."

I looked back at her, bewildered.

"You never really grieved," said Mom. "You started shouldering this family the moment your Dad left for Iraq. When he died, you just kept going, shouldering the family. You never gave yourself time to be a teenager that lost his dad. You never dealt with it. I know you aren't mad at me, honey. You needed to let it all out."

"I'm sorry, Mom," I cried. I stood up and embraced her. She embraced me.

For once, I felt... safe.

I holed up in my room the rest of the day. Three times, someone had come knocking, but I didn't let them in. The forth time, there wasn't a knock. Whitney burst into my room, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Scott, I'm so sorry," she cried.

"Whitney, I don't want to deal with you right now," I said.

"Don't kick me out!" she bawled.

"I feel guilty enough about what we did," I said. "I don't need anymore guilt."

"I was wrong, though," she said. "I was just hot for you and I did anything to get down your pants. I didn't realized that I deeply loved you and cared about you. Now I realize that I didn't treat you very nice."

"I don't believe you," I countered, glaring at her.

"Do you think I would cry all day for you if I didn't really love you?"

"I don't think you cried all day," I spat. "In fact, you seem pretty shallow to me."

"But, I'm not shallow," cried Whitney. "I mean... I was shallow. I'll admit it."

"What am I supposed to think?" I asked. "As far as I see it, you just wanted a quick roll in the hay. You should know I'm not all about that."

"I know," sobbed Whitney. "God, I'm so sorry. It's just... just... I don't want to lose you."

"You will always be my sister," I said. "I will always love you as my sister."

"I love you as more than a sister loves her brother," said Whitney.

"I just can't let it go further than brother-sister love, Whitney. Not anymore."

"I'll back off for a while," said Whitney, blubbering. "If that is what it takes to prove that I love you."

"I don't know," I said. "We'll see."

Whitney flew into my arms and hugged me tightly, still bawling. I had said we'll see to placate her if anything. I didn't need her upset and attracting Mom's attention anymore.

"Whitney, this means no more playing around when Lindsey goes in the shower," I said. "No more kissing. None of that."

"I'll do it for you, Scott," said Whitney softly. Her tears were subsiding. "It won't be easy though."

"Thank you, Whitney," I said. I gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and then backed away from her.

Whitney gave me an uneasy smile and then she walked out. To tell the truth, it was the best I felt about Whitney since Dad died.

The next morning, when Lindsey left the bed to shower, I was surprised to see Whitney crawl out of bed and climbing into Lindsey's bed. It actually made my Monday morning a lot easier. A lot of the guilt I had been feeling was subsiding. During the afternoon, some of that guilt came back while daydreaming in class, but not as bad as it was the week before.

That evening I was feeling pretty good, so much so that my Mom asked me what was going on when I walked in the door. I quickly knocked out my chores and then went upstairs to do my homework, absolutely sure that I would be interrupted before too long.

I wasn't disappointed, especially when I saw my visitor. It was Lindsey, only Lindsey was only wearing a pair of pink girlie panties. The silly look of her panties didn't make her look any less stunning, however.

"I hope Mom and Whitney are somewhere," I said, chuckling.

"Whitney went with Mom to do grocery shopping and other errands," said Lindsey. "I decided this would be a good time to lose our virginity."