Chapter 6

It takes a lot of preparation and the right mindset to become a successful undercover operative. It turns out it can be child's play in comparison to carrying on a successful affair.

When you're undercover, everyone you would normally see or work with knows not to expect you. You're in that character almost all the time.

When you're having an affair, your wife expects to see you on some sort of regular basis. She will notice if you don't come home.

Neither will it escape the kids' notice. They're not going to say to mom, "Do you remember that guy who used to hang around here?" But they will notice. So, you can't do it.

You have to lead a double life without going cold turkey like you would if you were undercover. At least I didn't have the problem of telling the other woman - Karen - that sure, I'm going to tell my wife about us so that I can be with you, though oddly, that is what I would have preferred to do.

When I worked with Karen at the office, I had to be sure to keep the intensity out of my eyes, to adjust the level of familiarity in my body language.

I wasn't aware of anybody I worked with who had any kind of grudge against me. As far as I knew there was no reason any of them would want to hurt me.

But, as much as there is an intense excitement about being able to keep a secret, there is even more excitement in telling it to just one person who can appreciate the level of trustworthiness you show by limiting access to them.

It starts out with one person. But the pressure of not being able tell grows like a blister until it bursts and everyone knows.

Even if you could tell someone who can keep a secret, it's too much to ask.

Fortunately for us, my work experience had taught me most of the ways cheaters get caught. I didn't see myself as a cheater in the traditional sense, but, if the behavior fits, well.

Developing the course provided a lot of time I could account for to my wife, although I tried to do so in as little detail as I could get away with, both to provide myself with maximum flexibility as to how I spent my time and to avoid setting a precedent where there was an expectation that I account for it, though in other circumstances it would not have been unreasonable.

After we gave the course the first time, we spent a lot of time going over the comments and reviewing the quality of work of the participants after each course compared to before the course. It was a clear success; not big, but clear.

It takes time to integrate a new approach with what you've been used to doing. It became evident that the effect of the course increased as time went on so it became a regular part of our training.

The evaluation of the first set of employees to take the course took a lot of time and provided a lot of cover. It had been an expensive undertaking and I wouldn't have continued it just to help cover up an affair. We had to read every report from every operative who took the course and enough of their reports prior to the course to provide a basis for comparison.