Chapter 1

I am about to tell you a tale, a fable rather. It normally would start out with "Once upon a time..." but that is a cliché that has been over done too many times. So I will start this tale simply by telling you that I am about to start narrating a story that, will start at a point in time in the characters life, and end at another point in time the characters life. There will be no lesson to learn. No hidden secrets about theology, or the meaning of life. It will be simply a twisted and demented look at the goings on, in one large genetically deviant family that I am very close too. You will not be able to discern the identity of these miscreants, unless you are as close as I am; or unless I have told you whom each character represents. So let us begin.

The tale I am about to narrate will start at a point in time in the main character's life and; end at another point in time in that characters life. (Let me assure you that the ending will make no sense. And it will end quite abruptly.) Let us begin now.

The epic begins quite easily and very painfully with a man. He is a slow-witted man who likes to do allot of sitting and staring off into space. When he does this he resembles a man who is deep in thought. Trust me he is not deep in thought. Quite the contrary, he has nothing on his mind. And please, if by happen stances, you chance to see him sitting there, on his stump in the center of the village, please do not disturbed this visage of solitude that exists, in the center of the hub of activity, in the village square. The reasons for this request will become evident later in this epic tale, this tale of idiocy, and deviant behavior. This is not a tale for the intellect in any of us especially if you lack intellect. As the poor main character in this tale will demonstrate, it does not take a great deal of intelligence quotient to appreciate the simplicity that can exist in an idiot's world. In fact if you are truly this dense; this tale is for you. If you're not, read along anyhow and see how the other half lives. The thing you must remember is that Sumack the great and infinitely void was happy with the way things are.

Along with being an idiot, Sumack, had an enormous group of friends. People in the village were so fond of Sumack; rather fond of the comedic value he and his band of overjoyed men, were inclined to provide for the villagers that they would not give up their village idiot for anything, for love nor silver and gold, for bread pudding nor hanging meat. This after all was their beloved Sumack, Sumack the idiot.

Yes it happened already there is a similarity to a very famous story that has a universal message about good vs. evil. Allow me to assure you that this is merely a coincidence the similarity ends here. I will tell you why it ends at that.

The last time I read the other tale I had no notice of a puddle of fruit on the bottom yogurt in the middle of Surewood forest. Yet here we have it in Sumack's tale. Yes there is defiantly a puddle of fruit on the bottom yogurt in the middle of Surewood forest. It is bizarre and unexplainable. But it does taste really, really good. And last I herd the other guy was brave and courageous, suave and debonair. Sumack the idiot is none of these things. There are other elements to this tale that are definitely tells that Sumack's real life story is not even closely, loosely, or remotely based on a fictional story about a robber who received fame cause he was nice. No sir this tale we are going through together is defiantly more real than anything I could have ever made up. Another point of fact is that anvils fell from the sky. Yes I said it; anvils fell from the sky. Like walnuts in the fall leaving the comfort of a walnut tree, anvils fell from the sky. You never know when or how or even why. But no one ever really asked either, they just accepted the fact that they had to watch where they were stepping, more too the point everyone pretty much most of the time walked with their eyes turned up to the sky. Most people but one, of course Sumack the idiot, frequently was hit on the head by anvils. What a surprise, right? Right? I know it's very unreal to have this happen, anvils from the sky? Really please of all the things that could fall why anvils? Well it's not an easy explanation and it certainly dose deserve some reasoning and time if this story is going to have any credibility, which, is not what I am really going for. I do not even care if you stop reading right now. I write for myself, not for the drooling mass idiots that are out there whom may or may not be reading this tale. I do it to alleviate the confusion of thoughts that race through my head on a daily basis. Not to appease the herd. I do not aim to please and do not really care if you want to see me dead or alive. I right to get this shit out of my head. I right to release some of the random thoughts that plague my psyche day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. I right to give my brain a chance to stop thinking. I will however, try to explain the unexplainable. This effort on my behalf is a mere attempt to explain something that is occurring, you may not be aware, but this explanation, may or may not, kill any suspense that, may or may not, exist. This is in no way an attempt at trying to appease the mass of imbeciles that may or may not be reading. (Yes I am talking to you.) it is merely a self sacrificing deed to get into the good books of my creator and then maybe when and if I die I will make it into "heaven"