Chapter 29

Bob and I said, "Oh shit!" at the same time and then experienced the Fourth July as we went over the edge, which meant that I squealed again and Grandpa yelled out that he was coming and in the next instant was banging on the bathroom door.

"Maggie Girl?" He hollered. "You in here?"

"I'm okay, Grandpa! I'm just rehearsing a scene."

"Sounds to me like you're -- Where the hell is Bob?"

I glanced at Bob who had collapsed on the toilet. He shrugged and buried his face his hands. He said, "You might as well tell him."

"Bob, is that you?" Grandpa demanded.

"Yeah, Dad, it's me."

"Do I really want to know what you two are doing?"

"No!" We said in unison.

"Kids! I swear you teach'em common sense and --"

"Grandpa?"

"Yes, Darlin'?"

"Could you maybe yell at us later? If the potatoes burn, Daddy will kill me."

"Who's yelling?" he replied.

"Kind of sounds like you are," I said.

"Oh," he said. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be. Would be kind of hypocritical of me to yell. Things being the way they are and all. I'll tend to the taters while ya'll get cleaned up."

"What do you suppose he means by hypocritical?" I asked while I turned on the water in the sink to wet a wash-cloth.

"Elvis only knows," he replied. "I'm sure we will before long, too."

"You sound like you don't want to know."

He gave me one of Grandpa's looks and said, "Knowing him like you do, do you blame me for being a bit reluctant?"

"You have a point," I responded, giggling.

By the time Leldon walked in the door, fifteen minutes later, the bathroom was smelling like roses, literally. Maggie had lit a couple of rose scented candles. And after our NASCAR speed sponge baths the two of us didn't smell so bad, either.

Dad had turned off the potatoes and Maggie was working on the potato salad when Leldon stuck his head in the kitchen before going upstairs to change clothes. He gave us one of his looks, but with Dad being there, he could hardly say anything else about us missing church.

Mom, on the other hand, said enough to make up for Leldon's silence. Of course, she wasn't really talking to Dad. She didn't look at him the whole time she was giving us what-for. Of course, Maggie and I didn't talk back to her. We knew better. And Dad, to my amazement, kept his mouth shut, too. He just smiled as he placed Becky's good china on the table.

Becky and Leldon were sweethearts from the first grade on -- even when he put frogs on her, and pulled her pig-tails, among other things that boys did to aggravate girls. I loved her as much as loved my older brother and would do anything for her.

When she came into the kitchen, I handed her the vanilla milkshake I'd made for her, kissed her cheek and said, "Thanks."

"You and Maggie got things worked out?"

"Kind of," I replied.

She put her mouth close to my ear and whispered, "Just make sure your kind of doesn't end up with her getting pregnant."

I think my face probably turned several shades of red.

Laughing, she kissed my cheek and said, "Moms know everything."

"Oh, God," I said glancing over at the woman who'd given birth to me.

Becky giggled and went to talk with Dad.

"What's up, Corporal," Leldon said, wrapping his arm around my neck.

"I don't understand women."

He guffawed and gave me a noogie. He said, "Did Dad say why he didn't come to church?"

"Not, yet."

"Oh, great."

I nodded in agreement. When Dad missed church things were more than likely going to hit the fan big time. Though, how they could hit any harder than they already had I wasn't sure. His finding me and Maggie together was something I was pretty sure couldn't be topped. Of course, I was wrong.

In the middle of the meal he tapped his spoon on his tea glass. When things quieted down, he said, "Adelle, if you aren't back home with me by tomorrow afternoon, I'm filing for a divorce and I'm gonna' ask Chrissy's father for her hand."