Chapter 27

"I swear I used a condom," Bob said, as I opened the kitchen fridge, grabbed us a both a can of Pepsi, and then followed him out the back door.

Using a flashlight, we made our way out to his truck where I tackled the passenger's side and he the driver's side; sifting through the junk that always managed to accumulate in the floorboards no matter how much he tried.

I'd brought along a garbage bag and tossed things out as they needed to be, and he handed me stuff to be thrown away from his side. We spent at least half an hour looking in, under, and behind everything in the cab; and then tackled the back. There was no condom to be found.

Cursing, he leaned up against the side of the truck and said, "She'll claim she's pregnant even if she's not. She'll probably have herself so convinced she is, she won't have a period for nine freaking months and will look the part, too."

"Did you bring your keys?" I asked.

"Dammit all!" He replied, reaching inside his jean pocket and handing me the keys. "I know I put on a condom. What are you doing?"

"I'm goin' for a drive. Do you want to come along?"

He hesitated and then shrugged, saying, "I might as well."

When he closed the passenger door, I pulled out onto the road, which was sanely empty for the time of morning it was, and turned in the direction of where they had ran out of gas.

"Maggie," he said, after several minutes, "where are we going?"

"Do you know exactly where ya'll ran out of gas?"

"I should be able to find it, okay. We were only a couple of miles on the other side of Hank's place. But why are we going there?"

"To look for your lost condom, Dufus. What else?"

I could sense his features turning into one of Grandpa's looks as he said, "Maggie, I didn't toss out anything on the side of the road. I never have. I hate littering."

"Who said anything about you tossing it out?"

"Maggie, you -- but -- surely Megan can't act that good. And when did she do it?"

"Oh, I think she can. And it wouldn't surprise me if she's not already pregnant, and will claim it's yours. As for when she did it... were you a bit out of it afterwards?"

He thought for a minute before he admitted to being out of it. He then said, "If she went to all that trouble, why would she stupid enough to leave the evidence to be found?"

"Because she can't stand being messy and she would not have been able to have put that condom in her purse. I've seen her have a hissy when she finds a used tissue in her bag. She's a neat freak. If she'd seen the stuff you just shoved under the seats before you went to pick her up she would have broken out in hives.

"And besides that, Aunt Prudie called before you got home and told me Elvis said to look for the condom on the side of the road."

"Oh for the love of Baby Jesus! Why didn't you just say so to begin with?"