Chapter 12

If my favorite weatherman had depended on my house for his predictions the next week, he would have given blizzards for a couple of months. Mom froze me and Dad out, pretending we weren't even there. Dad told her to stop being silly and being a bad sport to boot, and she almost took his head off when she threw an empty coffee can at him.

When she refused to even cook for us, we went to Leldon's for our evening meals. As a rule, Leldon had Mom wrapped around his finger and could talk sense into her, but she was in one of her mule-streaks and wouldn't be budged. Dad and I had conspired against her and that was all there was to it; and until Tammy Sue's name came out of that can, we were on our own. On Friday night as Dad and I were getting into my truck, Leldon suggested that I make sure Tammy Sue's name came out next.

"He'll do no such thing," Dad said. "That would be cheating; and I won't have it!"

"But Dad --"

"No! That woman's being a royal pain in the ass; and we will not give into her."

"But --"

He clamped his hands over his ears and started singing Stars and Stripes Forever.

"I just know I was adopted," I mumbled; and Leldon laughed loud enough to wake the dead.

"What did you say?" Dad demanded.

"I said, I wish I'd ran off and joined the circus when I had the chance."

"What would you want with a damn circus when you have us?"

Waving at Leldon, who was laughing so hard he'd sat on the grass, I put the truck in reverse and pulled out onto the road. Dad started singing, again. He can sing, when he tries, but he was in one of his goofy moods, and was singing off key for the hell of it. Under normal circumstances, his silliness would be enjoyable, but this wasn't normal anything and I was thankful that we didn't have far to go.

As we approached the house, we could see several cars in the driveway; and when we got out of the truck, we heard feminine voices coming from inside. Mom was apparently entertaining some of her friends.

"Go on in," Dad said. "I'll be there in a few."

I should have locked the door behind me. Instead, though, I stepped up on the back porch and went into the kitchen and to the living room where the ladies were playing dominos. In spite of the frost bite, I received from Mom; I behaved like a gentleman and greeted the ladies as I had been taught to do from time I was in diapers.

I was chatting with Mrs. Hill about helping her with her lawn when Dad made his entrance. He was singing, My Wild Irish Rose, off key, and staggering around like a drunk To make things really interesting, he was carrying the bucket of chicken feed, and would pause ever few seconds to scatter the grain on Mom's floor and call out, "Here, chicky, chicky, chicky."

I tried to get to Mom, but before I could she started hurling dominos at Dad and yelling at him about being a dried-up old coot, before she started on him with names she must have learned from her brother who had been a Navy Captain.