Chapter 14

"You, Sir, are a cad," Courtney told me, as she took a bite of her orange sherbet ice cream.

I choked on the coffee I was drinking, then laughed.

"Cad? I didn't think anyone still used that word," I replied musingly.

"And why not? It is a perfectly good word. It describes to a T, your attitude to my request to explain your American football. How you people can call what you play, 'football', is beyond me," she replied, her dancing eyes.

I thought a moment and decided that while it was true I had chuckled over her confusion about American football, calling me a cad seemed a little over done.

"The problem with you Brits, is that you confuse soccer, a perfectly descent game, with a sport called football, a totally great game," I replied loftily.

"Well, you will have to explain this 'American football' to me. We have a group that is scheduled to be here, later in the year. That's all anyone seems to be talking about. We have reservations for several games, as a matter of fact."

"Hmm, well, what did you want to know about? I will see if I can explain things to you. Just remember, I am an amateur... an 'armchair quarterback', as they call us," I responded.

"Well then, start with the home team. The Rams, I believe they are called?" she asked.

"Ah, the St. Louis Rams. Now there is an actual soap opera that is a success story. Let's see. Ok, a little background first. Remember I took you to a baseball game a couple of weeks ago? Remember? It was right after you came back from England for your job here?" she nodded.

"Well, that team is the baseball Cardinals, or the St. Louis Cardinals. There used to be a football team of the same name, but the owner packed them up lock stock and barrel, and moved them to Arizona.

"There was a big stink about it at the time, but apparently he got a better tax deal, with that state's government. After all, professional team sports is 'money first'. Loyalty to your fan base is a distant second. They do expect you to be loyal to them, and support them in everything they do, though. Strange, if you ask me.

"Anyway, a few years back, several people decided that it was time for St. Louis to get another football team. Since new expansion teams were being brought into existence, and a couple teams made moves from one city to another, they applied for expansion status.

"They were refused at first, saying that the city could not support baseball and football teams simultaneously. Well, to get that problem out of the way, a retired politician decided to show the football commission that there was a market for a team here, and sold something called personal seat licenses. They went for several thousand dollars each, and thousands of these were sold, even before there was a team!

"So with that question removed, St. Louis and St. Louis County got together, and decided that the tax payers must build a new separate stadium for this new team. This is why there are two stadiums in St. Louis.

"Now then, everything was almost in place. This group had scouted prospective teams, and they settled on the Rams who were playing for a different city back then. Oh, that city cried foul when the Rams decided to move, lawsuits were threatened. I don't know if anything was filed in court or not. California still has a football team, so it didn't seem to really harm that state.

"The then commissioner of football, Paul Tagliabue, decided that the Rams could not go to St. Louis, anyway. He hadn't authorized a move; so, too bad. Well, that didn't sit well with the people who went to all this trouble to get a football team here, nor was the owner of the Rams thrilled with this decision. So together with the St. Louis people, the owner of the Rams and the retired politician, launched a lawsuit against the commissioner and the NFL. They sued for restriction of business, or something like that. The long and short of that battle is the NFL and the football commissioner caved, and the Rams moved from California to St. Louis.

"The football commissioner got his revenge by counting seats in the new stadium, then changing the rules about the teams hosting what is called a Superbowl. The new stadium in St. Louis found itself a few thousand seats short, seating-capacity wise, and there was no way for St. Louis to earn money by hosting a Superbowl. That was a childish lashing out; but children with authority have always, historically, abused any power when it was given to them," I paused.

"Hmm, sounds like sports is also highly politicized, here in America. Ok, now tell me about downs, and goals, and the other rules," she said, grinning.

"Whoosh! You don't want much, do you? I suggest we continue this discussion in the car on the way to my house. You have just asked a question that is going to take a long time to explain. I have access to old games videos at home. Lets go watch one or a few, and I will explain them as they play," I said.

She nodded, and rose to her feet. She signed the bill that was on the table, as she was authorized all meals. She was also allowed the occasional guest, free, in her hotel dining area. They had a good chef, I will give them that. She had an apartment located in the hotel. She rarely used it, just when she was busy. Usually, she came home with me.

After getting on I-70 West, we traveled the reversible lanes out of St. Louis. It was a pleasant drive. About fifty minutes later, we were at the house.

"You really need to work on getting your American drivers license," I said teasing her.

"Actually, I have an international license that is good, here in the US. I just like you driving me. This is, after all, your job to do... win my heart, correct?" she replied with a grin.

I'll be damned, she could have driven herself all this time! Ok, she wanted to play? I grinned as a thought came to me. I didn't think she knew I was a licensed helicopter pilot. I would surprise her one day soon. I'd pick her up and fly her home in a rented copter. That would straighten her out... maybe.

We watched a few games after we had arrived home, making an evening of it. We didn't finish until after the second game was over with, and I had explained what was going on, and I will give her this, she picked up on it very quickly. She actually liked football! My kind of girl, indeed.

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