Chapter 1

The year was 1999 around June if I remember right I just got off work and was headed home for a nice weekend with the family. I was aware of home invasions in our neighborhood but like everyone else I thought it wouldn't happen to us. I was just pulling into the driveway when I noticed a curtain moving I thought it was odd to have the curtains closed on a beautiful day like this so I walked with caution to the front door.

I opened the door slowly when a large hand grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the house, I had just caught myself when I heard the cocking of a gun, I'm not expert on guns of any kind so I can't say what was being cocked. I had just turned around and was about to yell at the intruders when I felt the most unbearable pain in my life. I found it odd that the sound of the shot was delayed by a few seconds. It's also very odd what people think of as they lay on the floor dying, the first thought was regret I thought back to my first crush in elementary school. The girl was named Holly Graves and in my minds eye she was perfect. But I was shy and didn't talk much to girls but man did I like to watch them. Holly was nice to me along with her friend Lesley.

They would let me chase them around and catch them me being shy never had any idea what to do when I caught them. Anyway my regret was I never talked to her and told her how I felt.

I was on my back going through the flashes of life before my eyes when things started to go real dark. The next feeling was sorrow, I felt sorry for myself because I was not the brightest man around, anybody else would have called 911 but not me I have to be stupid and think I can handle it. I was thinking, if I get a second chance I swear hell will be afraid of me. That's when things went black.

I'm sure you have heard of the near death experience, you know the long tunnel with the bright light at the end. Well that's where I was when I became aware that the pain was gone. You know what you never hear about are the other tunnels going in different directions well I'm here to tell you now that there are other tunnels. I was floating along down the tunnel when all of a sudden I take a left turn and there was a light but now it was red, I mean red as dark as blood. I have never seen a light that red before. I knew where I was going I just couldn't figure out why. I was a good guy and never hurt anyone.

Then it hit me like a truck the Devil was going to chew me a new one for what I said as I was dying. I was nervous now man. I guess what they say about being careful what you wish for. I knew I should have cursed someone but damn it who do you curse when you're dying and have no idea when you will leave.

I was to busy cussing myself out to notice that I stopped moving, you know what that's like when you know people are waiting for you but you are in your own world and you have a feeling your being watched.

I'm here to tell you that is a feeling you don't want when you're in hell or limbo or wherever I am. I shook my head and was afraid to look at any one thing so I looked down at the floor but there was no floor it was just blackness. I freaked out and said, "holy shit there's no floor." And then I heard laughing all around me.

I looked up and was going to say, "fuck you too." but bit my tongue when it was the Devil himself sitting on a thrown of dead bodies laughing at me. Then I heard another laugh to my right I looked there and there was nothing there that laugh got louder. And I thought look up dip weed and I did and I swear to God himself, it was God sitting there or should I say rolling there laughing so hard I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

I was feeling pretty damn mad and said, "ok you two what is so funny." God said, "we just love it when you mortals realize your not standing on a floor or ground and it's been so long since we have brought a mortal here."

"Well then I get to laugh at you then for creating a president named Bush who in the hell names anybody bush when there are a million and one other names to choose why bush." I said.

God being the clown he is was pointing at the Devil and saying, "the Devil made me do it."

I lost it right there I was laughing so hard I think I wet myself. We were all laughing so hard I never noticed another being next to me trying to catch his breathe.

I finally calmed down and asked, "ok now that that's over with why am I here."

God started by saying, "well we heard your last plea and thought why not let you have your second chance and do us a favor at the same time."

As God was talking I thought a chair would be nice to sit in and sure enough a nice lazy-boy chair popped into existence right behind me and I sat down and listened.