Chapter 45

After my father made the decision to bring Kate back home, things really got transformed around our house. Overnight, it got happy again. My mother couldn't do enough to try and please him. She even got my Aunt Agnes involved by having her take over some of her women's exercise classes during the mornings so that she could come home, and start preparing dinners for each evening. The meals really started picking up after that.

To my mother's way of thinking, my father's decision to bring Kate home was proof, to her, of his love for her. She knew he hadn't wanted to do it, but, when he announced his decision, she knew that she was a big part of the reason he had changed his mind. My father still maintained that his decision was prompted solely by his realization that Kate didn't have to be in Hungary in order to be punished, and taught how to behave. Whatever, my mother was treating him like royalty. She even encouraged him to bring home some new 'projects' for the basement.

My father brought home two pin ball machines that he had gotten for almost nothing. He was going to repair them and sell them, he said. He did manage to get one of them running, but only after he cannibalized a lot of relays from the other machine. I got to where I could win free games on it fairly easily, usually without putting the front legs up on my toes, and cheating by slowing down the progress of the balls in that way.

My father started treating me better, too. I don't know if it was because of the talk I had with him in the basement, or not, but he started talking to me like he thought I was almost fully grown up. I liked him doing that, and, because I wanted him to keep treating me that way, I tried to act more grown up, and tried to be responsible.

On Saturday, December 9th, 1961, my mother boarded the train to go to New York City in order to meet Kate's plane from Hungary. I think it was from London, actually, because I think Kate flew there first from Hungary, and had a layover before going to New York. My father and I were both waiting at home the next day. We went to the train station an hour early to wait for the train bringing in my mom and my sister. We knew they were on the train, because Zoli had called my father as soon as he got back from the train station, after watching them board, and then watching the train depart. We were standing on the arrivals platform watching as the train pulled in.

Kate was almost fourteen now. When she jumped down off of the train, I recognized her right away. I had been afraid that I might not. The first thing she did was run right over to my father, hugging him, thanking him over and over for letting her come back home. Both of them were crying, and Kate was making a lot of promises about how good she was going to be from then on. I looked away for a minute, noticing my mother struggling with Kate's two big suitcases, plus her own small travel bag. I ran over and took the two heavy suitcases from her. We stood where we were, my mother enjoying watching my father and Kate as they hugged each other again. The last contact that they had was before Kate left, when my father had beaten her with his belt. From that time until this, they hadn't spoken one word to each other.

"Look at your papa, Laurant. See how happy he is to have Katinka back with us? Sometimes I think that this was more difficult for him than for anyone else, even Katinka." My mother was now crying too. She, more than any of the rest of us, had longed to see this day come. I wasn't crying. I was real happy to have Kate home again, but I was also worried that she would soon do something that would sweep away all of the good will and the warm feelings that everyone was now enjoying. It wasn't that I felt sure that it would happen, but it did worry me.

Mom and I started walking towards dad and Kate again. They had stopped hugging and as we approached, I heard Kate and my father speaking together in Hungarian. She had picked up quite a lot of Hungarian in the months she had lived in Budapest. When we got close, I put the two suitcases down, in order to rest my arms a little. That was when Kate turned and noticed me, for the first time, I think. She gave me a big smile.

"Hello, Larry." She was smiling, but she also looked a little uncertain about what the reception was that she could expect from me.

"Hi, Kate, long time no see. How was Hungary?" I wanted to go over and give her my own hug, but something was making me hold back from doing it.

"It was so different from here. Did you miss me?" She was trying to wipe her face with her hands, sweeping away as much of the wetness from her cheeks as she could.

"I missed you right from the very first day, the first minute that I found out. I was happy when dad decided to let you come home again. Don't I get a hug too?" Kate had grown in the past ten months. She was about three or four inches taller, it seemed like, and her boobs looked much bigger than they had when she left. She had let her hair grow longer too. She was beginning to look more like my mom. She no longer looked like a little girl, she looked at least two years older than when I saw her last. She came over and we hugged each other. It was more restrained than I had imagined it would be. It was the kind of hug I gave my Aunt Agnes when I hadn't seen her for awhile. I didn't say anything to her about it, and my father grabbed one of the suitcases and left the other for me. He and my mom walked ahead of Kate and I, as we left the station to go to my dad's car.

"Mom said Clara moved away. Does she ever come to her mom's for a visit?"

"I don't know. She and I stopped being friends, even before she left."

"It was mean for you to never write to me. That's why I quit writing to you. It would have been nice to get a few letters from you."

"I thought about writing, but I didn't know what to say to you. Your letters were all about you being mad, and about how you were wanting to show everyone that you were going to continue being like you had been. I just felt bad when I read them."

"I felt bad when I was writing them to you. You wouldn't believe what it was like living over there. There was only one small bathroom for four families in our building. It was downstairs from where we were, and the water only ran for a few hours every day. I was lucky to get either a shower or a bath once a week. The food too. You had to wait in lines for everything, or else buy food on the black market. Half the time they were out of what you needed. Everyone lives so crowded too. The people were nice, when I could understand them. I cried every night for the first three months. One night, I just got tired of crying, and I started trying to make the best of things. I was mad too, but I knew it wasn't doing any good."

"You're back now. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to get really clean, then I'm going to go to sleep on my own bed, in my own room. When I get up, I'm going to have daddy take me to Frank's, and I'm going to have a big burger meal, with a lot of greasy French fries, and a thick chocolate shake. Then, after, I'm going to go in my room and play all of my records, over and over. I'm not coming out until I'm sick of hearing all of my records. Mama said I don't have to start school until after the New Year. Did she tell you that I was taking dancing lessons in Hungary? Four hour long lessons. I couldn't believe how good some of the younger girls were. It wasn't anything like what they teach us over here."

"I meant how are you going to behave?" Kate looked at me. We both knew that this was the sixty four dollar question. I had already decided that I was going to be treating her different, depending on her answer. If she was still the same old Kate, then she and I were going to be adversaries. I hoped that I was keeping my face neutral, but I feared that my anxiousness might be showing through.

"Larry, I'm not going to do anything that might get me sent back there. I already knew that I shouldn't have been doing a lot of stuff I did. I knew it before they sent me away. I'm not sure what I was doing. Well, I knew what, I didn't know why I did those things. I'm not talking about the things Clara and I did with each other, just the things with those boys. It wasn't even like it was really happening to me, and being caught was so embarrassing. I couldn't let people know how sorry I was, so I tried to pretend it didn't matter to me what you all thought. When I was in Hungary, I kept remembering the things that you and mom and dad did and said to me. I didn't think any of you ever wanted to see me, not ever again." She was crying again and I put my free arm around her. We got up to the car, and both of our parents were looking at me questioningly.

"I never felt like that, Kate, never. I didn't want to watch you continuing to do all those things that were hurting you. I was mad at some of the things you said, and did, but I still loved you."

"You didn't hate me for having Clara do those things too?"

"No, and besides, Clara made her own decisions about what to do. She already told me that she was first with Leon, before you did it with Keith. She also told me about why you both were doing it with those other boys when you got caught. If you told mom and dad how that happened, they might not have been so shocked by it."

"What did Clara say happened?"

"The other boys said they'd tell on you, about Keith and Leon if you didn't do it with them too."

"Oh. They did say that, but that wasn't the reason we let them. Clara didn't say anything about the money?"

"No. She just said they threatened you."

"They gave us each ten dollars too." I looked at her. I wondered why Clara hadn't told me that too. That was worse, taking money for doing it. That made them both whores.

"She never told me that. I guess she was embarrassed."

"Clara's mom knew, the principal told her, and then she told mom about that part of it. I thought you knew it too."

"No, I'm hearing it right now, from you, for the very first time. I wish I didn't know it now too." Kate started crying again, and ran over to my mother. My father and I put the suitcases in the car and drove home. Kate sat in back with my mother, and I sat up in front. On the ride home, I didn't know what to think. I don't even know why it bothered me so much. I wish I'd found out about that part of it sooner. What had the two of them been thinking? When we got home, I carried one of the big suitcases into Kate's room and left it there. I went over to my room and shut the door behind me.

My father went out and bought some pastrami sandwiches at the deli, and brought them back for us to eat. My mom was too tired to do any cooking. My Aunt Agnes had come over too, and all five of us sat at the dinner table, eating and talking. I was the only one who wasn't talking. Finally, Agnes asked me if I was glad to see Kate again.