Chapter 23

The incident with Karen in the cafeteria, had raised up quite a ruckus in our school, and even beyond the school, as I was soon to learn. There were serious problems between Denise and Karen, all as a direct result of what had happened that day. As near as I could tell, they weren't even speaking to each other anymore.

I got myself disinvited to Donna James's birthday party. She approached me one morning, as I was coming to school. It was a few days after the cafeteria incident. She just came right out and told me that her parents had forbidden her from inviting me to her party. I nodded to her that I understood what she was saying. I wanted to ask Donna what her parents had heard that made them react in this way, but that just wasn't my style. Instead, I withdrew from speaking to people. Socially, I knew I could now count only on myself.

I wasn't mad at Karen, but I didn"t blame Denise for being angry with her. Denise deserved to be angry with me also. I had been a part of that conversation too. I should have said something to Karen, to get her to stop talking, a lot earlier than I had. I think I was too busy thinking about my own possible pleasures with both Denise and Karen, to bother with thinking about how far her words were being broadcast to the students sitting around us. I didn't remember having said anything that compromised Denise's reputation, but I had said enough to help confirm some of what Karen was speaking about.

It was only one week until the Winter dance. I had committed to attending it with Harriet Simonson. I had known Harriet all through grade school. She had been in some of my mother's dance classes with me. She was about five three, with darker blond hair which she wore about halfway down her back, usually in a ponytail. She had regular facial features, but her eyes were a little bit narrow and always looked pinched, like she was squinting or something. She was built along the lines of Clara, except that she had breasts, and weighed probably ten pounds more than Clara. She had been a very slow learner in dance classes. She was a girl that found it difficult to learn new dance steps. She didn't have any sense of her own body rhythm, so it was hard for her to 'feel' the flow of dancing.

She was not a girl that I would normally have chosen to pursue. It had surprised me when she had approached me with her phone number and home address a few weeks before. If I were to make a guess, I'd guess that Harriet had never had a boyfriend before. I'd never seen her with any boy at school. She was usually quiet and reserved. What she did by asking me out to this dance, was really out of character for her.

I approached Harriet in one of the classes we shared together, and asked her about what she was planning to wear. Because of all the dance recitals, my mom had bought me a tuxedo. I also owned two suits that would also work for the dance if she decided she didn't want to get too dressed up. There were some dress requirements for the dance, but they had only set out the minimum acceptable standards. For this dance, those standards were a jacket and tie for the boys, and dresses for the girls.

"My mother made me a nice evening gown to wear, Larry. It is a dark burgandy with a large satin bow in back."

"Is it really fancy, or not so fancy?"

"I'm wearing it for my piano recital next month. I'd say it was pretty fancy. Do you think it's too much for this dance?"

"No, a lot of people treat this dance like it is a formal. I was just asking about your dress so I could decide whether or not to wear my dancing tuxedo."

"I think my dress would go well with your tuxedo. Is it black?"

"Yes. I'm planning to have my dad drive us to and from the dance, is that all right?"

"We can't do that. We should just meet there."

"What do you mean? The guy always picks up the girl. Why would we meet there?"

I started getting the sinking feeling that my new reputation had already begun to leave the school grounds, and was now getting itself spread out into the general community. I had hoped that the taking back of the invitation to Donna's party was an isolated thing, likely resulting from Donna having told her mother of the rumors concerning Karen and me. If this was now something that the other parents were all talking about, that would be very bad.

I really didn't have any choice. I couldn't undo any of what had already happened. I saw Harriet hesitating about answering my question. When she finally did answer me, it was with a small voice, the kind that kids use when they get caught doing something bad, and they are finally getting around to admitting it.

"My parents don't know that you are taking me to the dance. They wouldn't let me go if they did know. I'm sorry, Larry. I should have said something to you sooner. It's just that I wanted to go to this dance with you."

I had already paid for the tickets, $24.00 for the two of them. I had gotten the money from my mother. She couldn't refuse to give me the money for a high school dance. Every dance the high school held, provided her with a fresh crop of new students. A lot of these new students were boys, who were looking for a couple of quick lessons, just enough so they wouldn't make total fools of themselves out on the dance floor. How would I explain to her that my date didn't want me to pick her up at her house for the dance?

"Are you sure they'd disapprove of you going with me?" She looked right at me, and nodded yes. "Because of the rumors about some stuff with a girl?" I couldn't make myself name Karen as that girl. I didn't want to be guilty of talking about her in that context. Again, Harriet nodded that this was the reason. "I wish you'd said something earlier, Harriet. This is going to be hard for me to explain to my parents. What can I tell them?"

"You can tell them the truth. I'm on the dance committee, and have to be there early, to help decorate for the dance. I also need to be there later, to help with the clean up."

"That's all true?"

"It's nearly true. I am on the dance committee, but not on the decorating committee. I can volunteer for the clean up after the dance. It wouldn't really be that much of a lie."

"So I just meet you there, and then go home alone, after the dance?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, but that was all I could work out with my parents. At first, they wouldn't even allow me to go to the dance, until I told them that you had backed out of taking me because of what happened to you."

"This keeps getting worse and worse. I'm probably going to have to switch schools, or do something else, in order to get myself a fresh start. I can't believe how big this thing is getting."

"It's your own fault, Larry. There are a lot of girls that wouldn't go around telling everybody about what you did together."

"I guess I'll see you next Friday at the dance. Let me know if there are going to be any more changes, all right?"

I spent the rest of that day, waiting for school to let out. I was hoping for all of this to be over, but that didn't look like it was going to occur.

Other than my being willing to experiment with any girl who would allow it, what had I done that made me someone that so many people would want their own children to avoid? I didn't feel like I was such a bad person.

Until a few months before, people had accused me of being too backward with things. Even the vandalism had been characterized as just another example of me acting too childish. I was accused of doing something without thinking of the consequences beforehand. Everyone told me that I needed to grow up.

As soon as I finally do grow up, they all get on me for trying to grow up too fast. I figured there was just no way to win in the game they had me playing.

I was walking back to my house, taking my time, because there was really no good reason for me to hurry to get there. I looked up, noticing for the first time that Denise was standing on the corner, only about a block ahead of me. I began walking faster. I figured it was about fifty/fifty that she was going to yell at me.