Chapter 5: Faith

A/N: thanks to jim for editing!

Leo lived in a two-story house with a roommate. By the time Aiden and I arrived there was already a tapped keg and a few cars on the street. Aiden led the way in, not bothering to knock, and I tried to take a good look around.

It was actually a nice place with a wide living room and a huge sofa. I followed Aiden as he waved to a few people. Most of them were older, which didn't really surprise me. I was actually starting to feel a little nervous, not really knowing anyone.

There was music, but it wasn't too loud, and it wasn't an incredibly large crowd, but probably over twenty people, spread out everywhere. Aiden had been right about girls--they were there, but they were gravely outnumbered by guys.

The first people I recognized were Leo and Ben, making out in a corner, and obviously no one cared. They came up for air long enough to wave to us. Aiden and I waved back, laughing, and then Aiden turned to me.

"Want a drink?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Sure."

He grabbed my arm, the way I was growing so accustomed to, and led me to the kitchen where the first thing I noticed was a girl directly in my path with long, black hair and cherry-flavored lip gloss. I know it was cherry flavored because the first thing she did was cup my head in her hands and press her lips to mine.

My eyes flew open in shock and I heard laughter around the kitchen before I realized what was going on. She was blowing smoke into my mouth, not kissing me really. I could smell the same sweet pungent smell that had surrounded me earlier that night at the mall. So I inhaled, letting whoever she was pass the hit to me.

When we parted I held it in, still unsure of what to do as I saw Ryan sitting at the counter, grinning at me, and another face I hadn't expected to see. It almost made me choke on everything in my lungs when I saw Tony standing there shaking his head at me.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and spun around. This time I was really caught off guard. Ben was standing in front of me, and before I could react he grabbed my head and pulled me towards him, his lips covering mine. I'm pretty sure that the shocked look on my face was the cause of the roaring laughter in the room, but I was a good sport. I exhaled into Ben's mouth, and when we separated he blew out what was left and beamed at me before playfully pinching my cheek.

"Thanks." He winked and then walked away. I was blushing furiously when I turned to see Aiden, Tony and Ryan together, laughing at my expense.

"Shut up," I mumbled, jokingly. But I felt really strange. I know that Ben didn't kiss me, but the last time a boy's lips had touched mine it had been Dan, and now I was thinking about him again. I'm sure my smile was somewhat forced, but the only one who seemed to pick up on it was Tony, who gave me an understanding look as I moved towards him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." He smiled at me, lightly tapping the cheek that Ben had pinched. "The hair looks good."

"Here." I turned as Aiden handed me a beer.

"Thanks." I smiled at him and then looked back at Tony, just as Ryan passed him a pipe. "Hey, I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one; don't tell me you're giving that job to Chris."

Tony nearly choked on the hit he was taking and violently shook his head as his face turned red.

"No way!" he responded. "You get it before Chris does, and just because I'm responsible doesn't mean I'm no fun." Tony threw one arm around me and gave me a squeeze. "You know, I'm glad you ended up here, Owe; before you said you were going to the mall I was going to ask you if you wanted to come here with me."

I smiled. "Cool. Is Chris still working?"

Tony nodded and passed the pipe to Aiden, who took a hit and passed it to me. It was becoming a really weird night. My second time experimenting with drugs and my brother's there with me. I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised, but only that morning I had considered Tony and Chris parental figures. I'd been kinda- kissed by a girl and a boy, and now, although nothing was said, I felt I was being encouraged to get wasted. Who woulda thunk it?

So I stood in the kitchen, smoking for the second time in my life, with a group of people including my brother and two new friends. After downing my fourth beer, I was feeling pretty well on my way to being wasted, and I didn't mind one bit.

I discovered that Tony happened to be there because he knew Leo's roommate, when a tall guy who looked to be the same age as my brother walked into the kitchen, barefoot and shirtless. He had black, curly hair and green eyes, a dragon tattoo on his chest and the reddest lips I had ever seen on someone without makeup.

He walked right up to my brother and I watched as they gave each other a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," the guy said to my Tony, "glad you could make it." And then he had an uncertain look on his face as he studied my brother for a minute and asked, "Tony?"

"Yes, Chris is working, he said he might stop by later," Tony said before I could even get my question out.

"Well when he gets here, you two get to put on name tags," the dark-haired guy remarked, and then looked at Aiden and smiled. "Aiden! Where ya been?"

"Hi, Jake," Aiden replied as they gave each other a loose hug.

"Jake, this is my other brother," Tony said as he reached out and pulled me under his arm.

Jake looked at me and flashed a smile as he quickly extended his hand.

"Owen, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I confirmed, shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Chris talks about you all the time."

I looked at Tony for an explanation.

"Jake bartends at the club," Tony explained.

That explained why I'd never met him. I only worked there on the weekends before the place opened for business.

"Cool," I said.

"Owen," Aiden called from across the kitchen where he was now standing at the back door with Ryan. "We're heading out back, wanna come?"

I looked at Tony and he gave me a shove that told me to 'get the hell out of here.'

"It was nice to meet you, Jake," I called, and then took my fifth beer and followed my friends outside, but not before noticing the way Tony was staring after Jake, seeming a little lost when he left to talk to some other people.

There wasn't much of a back yard, more dirt than grass. There was an old picnic table and I sat on a bench next to Aiden as Ryan climbed up top and fished what was left of a joint out of his pocket and lit it up. He and Aiden passed it around but when Aiden offered it to me I finally shook my head.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now, dude," I said blankly. I was actually feeling okay, but I had reached that point between wasted and trashed and wasn't sure if I wanted to cross it. The beer I was drinking seemed enough at that point.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked, leaning over to look at my face.

I nodded happily and they both laughed. I groaned and leaned back on the bench with one knee up, holding my beer over my stomach as I draped one arm over my eyes. I felt fingers running through my newly cut hair and smiled, somehow knowing it was Aiden.

"I think Owen's about to check out on us," Ryan remarked.

"Not quite," I said. "Wouldn't want to pass out right here; anyway, someone might molest me."

"Don't tempt us," Aiden quipped.

I laughed with them, but I couldn't help but wonder about the possibilities his last statement held. My mind was a bit foggy at the moment and I seemed to have developed another hard-on in the last hour, the second in one day. Lately, that would qualify as a record for me.

The laughter died down and I heard Aiden and Ryan talking, but I hadn't been paying attention, so I'm not sure how long I'd been lying there while they talked around me; but I was aware of Aiden's fingers still running through my hair and I loved the feeling. Unfortunately, my mouth felt dry and I had to sit up to take another drink of my beer.

When I did sit up it was too fast and I had to hold my head. I felt two hands on my back, one Aiden's and one Ryan's.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked as I thirstily downed the rest of my drink.

"Yeah, " I replied, turning so I could see them both. I must have looked as fucked-up as I felt because Ryan laughed at me.

"You ready to go?" Aiden asked.

"You're driving?"

He held up my keys and nodded. "Well you're definitely not."

"Cool." I smiled. "I should find Tony and tell him, though."

Aiden and Ryan looked at each other, then back at me and cracked up.

"What?" I asked.

"Dude, Tony came out here like an hour ago to tell you he was leaving."

"Huh? How long have we been out here?" I asked, seriously confused. That sent them into another fit of laughter.

"You passed out just after Tony left," Aiden explained.

"Yeah," Ryan said, grinning and squeezing my shoulder. "We molested you and you missed it."

I feigned disappointment, which might have been real if he'd been serious.

"Well wake me up next time!" I insisted.

Aiden laughed and grabbed my arm.

"Come on, let's get you home."

Ryan hopped off the table and hugged us both as he said goodbye.

"Do you need a ride home?" I asked him.

"No, I'm gonna crash here," Ryan said. "I'll see you guys later."

Aiden dragged me through the house and when I caught sight of the clock I saw it was almost three in the morning, which was a shock to me. The party had also died out. Leo and Ben were stretched out on the sofa together, intertwined fast asleep. We would have said goodbye, but didn't have the heart to wake them. But when we reached the door Jake stepped in front of us and gave Aiden a big hug.

"You guys okay to drive?"

"I am," Aiden said.

"Cool." Jake smiled. "It was nice meeting you, Owen."

I shook his hand again.

"Do me a favor and tell your brother to call me when he gets his ass up tomorrow," Jake suddenly added.

"Sure," I agreed; "which one?"

I noticed a blush crawl up Jake's cheeks. Aiden caught it too and laughed.

"That would be Tony," Aiden answered, ushering me out the door. "We'll let him know, Jake."

Maybe I was missing something. I guess I was pretty sure that Jake was gay when he first said hello to Tony, and I guess it was obvious that they liked each other. But I didn't get the feeling that they were a couple. I wondered why. I made a mental note to ask Tony in the morning and hoped I wouldn't forget by then.

I spent the ride home with my eyes pretty much closed and when we got back to the apartments I said goodbye to Aiden at the bottom of the stairs before I made my way slowly up them. But I stopped halfway and held myself up against the wall when I heard someone pounding on a door below somewhere, and then a chain of curses, unmistakably Aiden's voice.

I called back down.

"Aiden?"

He appeared at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me.

"You don't think one of your brothers would still be up, do you?" he asked.

"We can check," I replied.

"Thanks." He sighed. "My mom accidentally locked me out again and she sleeps like a fucking rock. Tony has the spare key."

"Come on up," I insisted. "Shit, if they're not up you can crash if you want."

Aiden followed me upstairs, laughing when I almost stumbled backwards at some point and he had to catch me. By the time we got inside the place was dark, and I had completely forgotten about Aiden's dilemma of being locked out. With his help, I made it into my room and fell face first into my bed, my legs still dangling off. I might have fallen asleep that way if Aiden hadn't rolled me over and yanked my shoes and socks off my feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking amused.

"Tired," I mumbled.

"I see that," he said, smiling, and then grabbed my hand and helped me sit up. "Come on."

I managed to sit up and by the time I figured out what he was doing he had my shirt halfway off. I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head, but I only sat there stupidly when he unbuttoned my jeans and yanked down my zipper.

Somewhere in my wasted mind I was very aware that I was still the proud owner of a raging hard-on. But it didn't seem like a big deal; I mean, I was pretty sure I had been hard most of the night and maybe I would have done something about it if I hadn't thought it would take so much energy. And maybe, if I hadn't been so completely wasted I would have been concerned about Aiden noticing.

He yanked on my pants and I stood up long enough for him to strip me down to my boxers, and then I fell right back into the bed and closed my eyes. I felt Aiden moving around me, wrestling me under the covers and then the sound of a door closing. I managed to open my eyes only briefly, long enough to see Aiden as he finished removing his jeans. My last conscious thought was of Aiden standing in front of my bed, wearing only a pair of white boxers.

...

I am a compulsive tooth brusher. Okay, I'm not that bad, but I follow the three-times-a-day rule--once when I wake up, once after school, and once before I go to bed. Never had a cavity in my life. I hadn't brushed my teeth last nigh. It seemed I'd sprouted a forest in my mouth and grown a little drummer boy in my head.

It was already past noon, but the first thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was that the second pillow on my bed was indented, like someone had been there. I felt the place next to me and realized it was warm, and then I remembered Aiden there the night before.

I was supposed to get his spare key from Tony or Chris. I didn't do that. That meant he must have crashed here last night. But where here, exactly? I already knew the answer to that. Aiden slept in my bed. While I was in it. I immediately hoped that I hadn't embarrassed myself.

If the bed was still warm, I figured Aiden hadn't been gone for long, but he was gone by the time I got up. I took my time, taking my shower and getting dressed. I ate toast for breakfast because both of my brothers were already gone and I didn't feel like making a big breakfast, and I spent most of the day lazing around the house, too tired to do anything else.

Tony got home first and I told him that Jake wanted him to call. I think Tony was especially pleased about that, but he didn't say anything else about it, and Chris got home early, since we were leaving to go camping in the morning.

The three of us actually ate dinner together, and afterwards I was still tired. I must have fallen asleep on the sofa because when I opened my eyes it was already eight o'clock at night and Chris was sitting at my feet, flipping through the channels.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he remarked.

I yawned and stretched, grinning at him. It was so good to wake up with family around. When I had first been separated from my brothers I realized all of the little, ordinary, everyday things I had taken for granted before. Waking up to good company, meaningful hugs, and unconditional love. If I really thought hard about it, I knew that my brothers were my real family. My only family.

I tried not to think about my parents because it hurt too much. I guess that deep down, I was never close to either of them. Chris and Tony had been their pride and joy. Deep down I had always known that, but I was never jealous of my brothers. Maybe that was because when I was younger my brothers gave me all of the love and support that my parents couldn't. Of course, I won't say that my parents weren't good to me. I was treated well and rewarded for a job well done, but that was all before Chris and Tony left.

When I was younger, Tony and I didn't have the same close relationship with my father that Chris did. Chris was the one he'd wake up early on a school day to go out for a father-son breakfast. If I didn't know better, I would have told myself that it was because I wasn't old enough to keep my father entertained and Tony didn't like waking up early; but now I knew better. It was because Chris was his favorite.