Chapter 3: Late night visitor

I don't know why I set my alarm for six. It wasn't like I had to be in school. I decided to take a long shower, and afterwards I toweled off, looking at my reflection in the foggy mirror. I looked like a fucking raccoon with my two black eyes. And I seriously thought about getting a haircut. I really didn't like the way it looked, and I sort of missed my short spiky look. The baggy clothes I'd been hiding behind were getting old, too, but I put them on anyway, instead of my other stuff, and I added a ball cap to shadow my bruised face.

I made my way into the kitchen and reached for the pop tarts but stopped myself. I had lost a lot of weight, and I wasn't eating as well as I used to. It was my own fault; I just never seemed to clean my plate anymore. This morning I decided to make scrambled eggs. I found a note from Tony reminding me to wake up Chris to go get our schoolwork, but he was hung over and I knew better. So after I finished my breakfast, I made another plate for Chris, set the table, and after cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, I added a note for Chris under what Tony had written saying that I'd go get my work myself.

Outside, I headed down the stairs. Unfortunately, someone else was making their way up them, and neither of us really paying attention, we collided. And we went down. Luckily there were only the three last steps to fall down and I landed directly on top of Aiden with a grunt. I'm pretty sure I knocked the wind out of him. I scrambled off him quickly, offering my hand to help him up.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I guess I wasn't paying attention."

"Neither was I," he admitted as I pulled him to his feet, and then he got a better look at my face. "Oh man, you look like shit." That was easy for him to say. He only had a small cut on his upper lip, and still looked like a wet dream.

I gingerly touched one of my black eyes and shrugged.

"The other guy looks worse."

"You mean all three of them do," Aiden said, laughing. "At least the ones you got hold of."

"I wouldn't know," I admitted. "I don't even know how many were involved."

"Five," Aiden replied. "But I don't think that all of them planned on jumping in before you got there."

"Yeah, look, about that... I didn't mean to..."

"Hey," he slapped my shoulder, "it's cool, man. I didn't mean to react like that yesterday. I mean, I guess I should be grateful or something; I just wasn't expecting any help and I didn't know you. And, I was pissed about my camera. I guess I just got annoyed because I wanted to hit Dennis."

"You can have him next time," I offered.

He smiled. "I'll hold you to that. So... I was just heading up to see if Chris was up yet."

"He's hung over," I explained. "I was just on my way to school, thought I'd pick up my shit and save him the trouble."

"You know he'll go there anyway, just to fuck with Johnson."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but I don't want to wait for my homework."

Aiden studied me for a moment and then shook his head.

"You're kind of weird, you know that?" he remarked. "But hey, I'll tag along if you don't mind."

"Sure." I shrugged. "I was going to head over to Shadow after that, though."

"Cool, I was going to study there today anyway."

I led the way to my truck and then we were on our way to the school. A block away from the apartments I noticed that Aiden was tightening his seatbelt and looked a little nervous. I gave him a questioning look.

"You're definitely a Dovan," he remarked. "You drive like your brothers."

"Oh," I said, grinning. "Well, we all had the same teacher."

I guess you could say that both my brothers and myself were 'swerve-y' drivers. We didn't necessarily speed, but we didn't slow down for sharp turns either. I never really thought of is as a family trait before, but to think about it, my dad was the same way. I did, however, try to take it easy for Aiden's benefit. And, I really didn't want him getting sick in my truck.

We made it to school without incident, arriving just after the first bell, so the halls were mostly empty. We passed the gym and then came to the auditorium on our way to the offices, but Aiden stopped and peered into the auditorium where drama class had started.

"Hey," he said, "I just wanna say hi to someone."

I shrugged, figuring that I'd wait for him, but instead he grabbed my arm and pulled me through the double doors with him. And then he shushed me. I couldn't remember the last time someone shushed me.

The lights in the auditorium seemed low but the stage was lit up. The class seemed to be scattered everywhere, just talking amongst themselves, and I had one of those eerie feelings you get when you end up somewhere you're not supposed to be. Aiden waved to someone, but I couldn't tell who until a tall, thin girl with short brown hair ran towards us and wrapped her arms around him.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "I thought you were suspended."

"We are," Aiden replied. "Just stopping by for homework." He stopped abruptly and turned to me. "Oh, Owen, this is Janie. Janie, Owen."

"Hi." She smiled sweetly and shook my hand, but for some reason I immediately didn't like her. Maybe it was the way she was hanging on Aiden, I'm not sure.

"Hi," I replied.

"So I guess you were in the fight too." She stated the obvious after taking a good look at my face; and then she turned her attention back to Aiden, but he was still looking at me.

"Janie, you know Chris and Tony, right? Owen's their brother," Aiden explained. And boy, did that brighten her up.

"You live with the wonder boys? Wait, wait..." She stepped closer, really looking at me under the ball cap. "I guess I can see the resemblance."

Aiden smirked. "Uh-oh, look out, Owen,"

"Huh?" Yep, that was the cleverest thing I had to say.

"Janie's in love with your brother," Aiden informed me, and in response Janie playfully punched him.

"Which one?" I asked curiously.

"Both of them," Janie said, like it was supposed to be obvious, and then regarded me curiously. "We'll see how you add up once those raccoon eyes go away." And then she winked at me! It wasn't like a girl had never hit on me before, but something about Janie doing it was creepy. I felt like I was being appraised, and I hated when people compared me to my brothers.

I was suddenly very uncomfortable, and I'm sure I was blushing.

"We've gotta go, Janie," Aiden announced, thank god. "I just wanted to say hi."

"Fine, call me," she replied, and then kissed Aiden's cheek. Despite the way she was appraising me a moment ago, it seemed I wasn't worth a second glance when she walked away.

I gave a small wave anyway and then Aiden was grabbing my arm again, pulling me towards the door. I really didn't mind him dragging me around, I guess I just wasn't used to it. But I didn't say anything, and soon we were walking side by side down the empty hall again.

"So that was Adam's sister?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Janie's a junior like us; Adam's only a freshman, you know."

Two things in that sentence surprised me.

"Adam's a freshman? You're a junior?" I sounded surprised on both counts.

"Yeah." Aiden laughed. "What did you think we were?"

"Well, I really didn't know about Adam," I honestly admitted. "And I figured you were a senior."

"Why's that?"

"Aren't you in some senior classes?" Oops. I think I just admitted that I'd noticed him. Luckily, if Aiden noticed he chose not to comment.

"I'm in a few advanced classes," he replied. "But yeah, Adam's a freshman. He's a cool guy though. You know, when your brothers said you were moving in, I offered to show you around but they said you'd want to get to know things on your own. I mean, I was cool with that and all but I was totally curious about you. I guess I was always too nervous to come up and knock when I figured you'd be home. And what's weird is I never even saw you at all, except with Adam, so I actually figured that you might be a freshman, too. A large freshman." He smiled. "Honestly, I didn't make the connection between you and Chris and Tony until yesterday--and how the hell can you tell them apart like that?"

"It's a sixth sense," I said, laughing. "I've always been able to do it."

"Yeah, well that's cool. You know, they talked about you a lot."

"They did?"

"Since the first day I met them," Aiden replied, nodding. "They're really cool guys, both of them. Like yesterday, they just let you know you can count on them, you know? I wish I had a brother like that."

"Do you have a brother?"

Aiden shrugged and his expression suddenly darkened. I guess he didn't want to talk about it, and I wasn't about to push the issue. I knew what it was like to have things that you didn't want to talk about. And it didn't escape my attention that Aiden had not once asked why I'd moved in with my twenty-one-year-old brothers. I wondered if he already knew.

But even if he did know some of it, I doubted he knew all of it. If what Tony had said about coming out to Aiden the night before told me anything, it was that Aiden didn't know everything. I think I was just fine with that, and I was willing to let the subject of brothers drop. Unfortunately, that left us with an awkward silence. Our silence didn't last long though; it was suddenly interrupted with a familiar voice that made me wince.

"Dovan! Knightly!"

We looked ahead to see Principal Johnson in front of his office, looking less than friendly. He continued his tirade as we continued to approach him.

"You boys are suspended! Do you know what that means? I should have you escorted off school grounds."

"Sorry, Principal Johnson," Aiden spoke up. "We're just here for our assignments."

"If you'd like us to go I could ask one of my brothers to come back," I added. "But I don't think either one of them would be too happy about it."

"Your assignments are in the front office," the older man replied gruffly. "Get them and get out; I don't want to see either one of you until next Wednesday. One week!"

He stormed off, and shaking our heads, we moved towards the office to pick up our homework.

"I hate that guy," Aiden muttered. "He dated my mom last year and ever since she dumped him he's been on my case."

"Seriously?" I asked.

He nodded glumly.

"Still, I'm glad she dumped him."

"I would be," I remarked. "I'm on his shit list too. Ever since I transferred here."

"Let me guess, Chris made the type of impression he left yesterday?" Aiden smiled. I laughed at that.

"No, Tony kept him under control then. It was more because I didn't want to join the football team."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I guess it didn't help that I took the captain of the football team out of this week's game either."

"I guess not. So, were you any good?"

"What?"

"Football; were you any good at it?"

"I guess. But I was never really into it. I'm still not."

"Hey, works for me." Aiden grinned. "If things had worked out differently, you might have been on the other side of that fight yesterday."

I thought about that. I didn't agree. I don't think I ever would have picked a fight with Aiden.

...

The Shadow was in a two-story brick building that didn't look like much until you got inside. When the lights weren't flashing, the music wasn't blaring, and it wasn't packed full of people, it could be a quiet enough place to study.

It wasn't one of those days. The club was equipped with a stage, and often featured live music, so to turn more of a profit, Chris occasionally rented it out during the day to bands looking to rehearse or audition new members. One of those bands happened to be playing when Aiden and I arrived.

There were a few people working, taking inventory behind the bar and making all of the mirrors on the walls and the metallic purple tables shine, but we didn't have any problem getting in. Everyone knew who I was and didn't ask questions when I showed up on a school day to do my homework.

I was surprised when Aiden said that he had never been in the club before, but he seemed as impressed as I was when I first saw it. We set up our homework on one of the tables away from the stage. I had a particularly light load and an advantage because most of the classes I was taking now were covering things I had learned at my old school just before coming here. The problem was the band.

I could study, listening to loud music. Actually, I often did, and I wasn't really bothered. It was a metal band and they weren't half bad, but I'm pretty sure Aiden disagreed. I'd just breezed through my History assignments when I noticed Aiden ripping a napkin in half and sticking the pieces in his ears. He looked ridiculous. I took that as my cue to stand up and shake his shoulder, not bothering to scream over the music.

Aiden looked at me questioningly and I motioned for him to follow me as I gathered up my assignments. He did the same and I led the way towards the back of the club, through a door and up the stairs to the second floor.

Upstairs had a smaller stage and more tables; it was usually used for private parties, and it was a lot quieter than the first level. I flicked on the lights and Aiden looked around as he pulled the paper from his ears and dropped his books on a table.

"Sorry I didn't think of this before," I said as I dropped my books across from his. "I guess I wasn't thinking."

"How could you think with all that noise?" Aiden remarked.

"They weren't that bad," I said, laughing, as I walked around the bar. "Do you want something to drink?" When I didn't get a response I looked up to see Aiden giving me a look, clearly saying: Are you out of your mind? I frowned at him. "Pepsi? Coke? Chris likes Coke and Tony likes Pepsi, so they have both here. Or, there's lemonade, Sprite..."

"Coke, please." Aiden smiled.

I grabbed two cokes from the cooler and moved back to the table, handing one to him. He thanked me and we were able to continue our studying in a more peaceful environment. I had figured one week's worth of homework would have taken me at least a few days to deal with, but most of my teachers had just given me one assignment for their class to make up for it. Some were larger assignments, but I figured that if I got down to it, I could be finished by tomorrow, have Friday free and go camping over the weekend.

We worked for another hour, and occasionally I would glance across at Aiden. I know I spent the night before drinking with him and my brothers, but I hadn't exactly given myself time to admire him so closely. His dark hair was down today, and it seemed a little shorter than I'd thought, cut just above his shoulders and tucked behind his ears, which I noticed for the first time, were both pierced.

Before, he always seemed thinner than he was, probably because he usually wore dark clothes, but today he was wearing a simple blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. His arms weren't overly muscled but they were defined and you could see biceps twitching every time he moved; and I'd learned just how strong those arms were when he had pulled me off of Dennis. And Aiden's chest also seemed more defined than I would have imagined--I could see that now with the t-shirt clinging to him.

His face was just as perfect as ever. His skin was olive and flawless, and when he studied, his forehead was slightly wrinkled in concentration and his almond eyes would narrow and take on a determined look. And his pink tongue kept licking his full, soft-looking lips. It would flick out teasingly every time he wrote down an answer. I tore my eyes away before my mind had a chance to wander too far. Everything about Aiden that morning screamed sexy, and it was sort of driving me crazy, and confusing me to no end.

The truth was, ever since I ended up in the hospital, I had lost all my teenage libido. I rarely thought of sex, and a morning woody was rare these days. Even when I woke up with one it went away as soon as I peed. I had attempted jacking off once, just to make sure there was nothing wrong with the equipment down there, and it worked fine; but once I got it up I lost interest and let it go away.

I hadn't mentioned this to anyone. I figured that it was a mental thing. Maybe because I was still torn up about Dan. But Dan was a thought I rarely allowed myself to have anymore. I missed him, and he was never coming back. I think I felt guilty about something, too, like I had no right to mourn for Dan the way I wanted to. I mean, he wasn't my boyfriend. We did things together, and his friendship meant a lot to me, but other than a little sexual exploration, I really had no romantic interest in him.

Maybe the worst part for me was that Dan knew that. And I knew that his feelings for me were just the opposite. He made it clear that he had more interest in me. But I could never return the feelings. I was too hung up on my straight best friend. I guess I felt guilty because Dan died knowing that I could never return those feelings, and somehow I felt like I didn't give him enough when he was alive.

And then there was my father. That thought was enough to deflate any erection, and every time I even began to fantasize about another guy, all of the cruel things he'd said would pop into my head, and I would feel dirty, like there really was something wrong with my sexuality, even if in my heart, I knew better.