It’s for the Birds!

I panicked as I heard the in-drawn breaths and screams. The grey interdiction field had just gone up and the Confederacy Marines were in the process of announcing that this was a pick-up.

I had just come in after a vet visit with my three birds and my support worker. I’d wanted to try Perth’s Cray for ages and we were in the outside part just about to tuck into a lovely seafood lunch.

I’d watched Average Joes. They even had it audio described which had been controversial but they did it because everyone needed to know what was going to happen, so there were signing interpreters and AD (audio descriptions) added and it was strange to say the least.

I was happy to be picked up, don’t get me wrong, but so many complications! I always carried my CAP card with me, with a lovely score of 6.0. Apparently, my need to submit brought down my score, but I wasn’t worried about that. I knew going in that my score would not be sponsor class. I wanted to be a concubine so badly and to be a mother at last. At 44, it was getting to the stage where I needed to get some serious confed tech done and then I could start the breeding process. I couldn’t wait.

Problem is, who wants a weird quirky blind autistic girl with a love for birds and music and a strange disconnect between romance and sex? Not many apparently. But there was one!

Decurian Felix Evans of the Confederacy’s Civil Service branch was looking at the talent, as his partner Hank Finley called it. Felix didn’t think that way himself. He’d had the lecture about making sure he bred with the conks in the civil service brothels but he couldn’t bring himself to it somehow. They swore and they didn’t appreciate Elgar or Beethoven, and poor Stella who was his great love was destined never to be able to breed. She was his galah and though he had been allowed to take her with him, she missed him when he was away and Parrot TV only took you so far. But there I was ... a person, with birds, and one was a galah!!! He excused himself from Hank and walked over to the table where I sat, not knowing all of this of course.

“Hey, ... um, ... I know this sounds weird, but is that galah male?”

I was surprised. You don’t often hear someone with a received pronunciation accent (‘King’s English’) anywhere these days and certainly not one asking about a galah. “Yes, His name is Star.”

“Oh, thank goodness!!, I know there’s the test drive and all that, but that’s not where my mind is. How do you like Elgar?”

“Oh wow! A man with that voice, a galah and Elgar? Is this true? Okay, this can’t be my good luck day, I have to ask. ‘Do you swear during sexy time?’”

“Ugh no way!!” was Felix’s emphatic response, though I didn’t know that was his name quite yet.

“Okay, so I think that either God, Lady Luck or Loki or maybe all three have decided that it’s my day. I don’t swear, these birds are mine and if a test drive means Elgar, I’m in.”

That is how I ended up becoming the concubine of Decurion Felix Evans of the Civil Service branch of the Confederacy.

Ayden, the support worker who was with me, was sponsor class and had a chat with Felix to see if I would be okay. Felix was happy to take me off Ayden’s hands so he went off to join the big test drive. Felix took me and my two bird backpacks to the transporter and off we went into orbit.

The room was a zoo! There were kids screaming, ladies wailing, and angry shouts from all sides. Luckily, Felix saw how upsetting and overwhelming this was to me, and after subvocalising to the AI, we went to medical to do a preliminary scan.

“Decurion Evans, I have good and bad news for you about this one,” Felix later told me was the first thing the medic said after I had been led to the tube and put in. “The blindness isn’t something we can heal and changing the brain chemistry on the autism side can’t be done, but the ADHD stuff can be given a bit of help. It would be like she’s always got meds but we can’t change the underlying stuff.”

“That’s supposed to be bad news?” asked Felix amazed. “I was told those things myself, well, not the blindness obviously, but the brain stuff. It’s nice not to have to take meds but it’s also nice to have the brain I have and not have to worry about whether someone is going to break it. It means I have a specialised job, one that no one else wants to do.”

The medic shrugged.

“So what’s the supposed good news?”

“Oh, yes, well she’s still able to breed, and we’re fixing the insulin resistance and any of the other medical issues. Because there’s not a lot to do, do you want to do the cosmetic changes now?”

“Yep, how about aging her down to 18 and putting in the usual responsiveness and pregnancy additions. Make her about 70 KG and firm everything up, and yes, you can take the hair below the neck. I don’t want a Barbie, I want a mother who will be cuddly for the babies and for me.”

The first thing I noticed when the med tube opened was that I could move easily. I came out and was presented with my collar and shift. “Because of your eyes, your collar’s connection to the AI will be able to give you descriptions and will work like those glasses I saw in your bag but better,” said Felix in the voice I got to know as his ‘explainy’ voice which I grew to love.

“Felix, or Sir, I have no idea what to call you, but could we at some point put the birds through the med tube? Rocky has nerve damage from an accident, Brulee has one leg and Star has all sorts of stuff from his first abusive home. Maybe the Darjee have an avian med tube?” The medic was not expecting this and had no answers but he said he would ask the Darjee about it.

Felix said “leave it to me,” and we went out of medical to the pod.

“I know you would have liked answers,” said Felix after we entered the pod. “That medic was not someone I wanted in our sacred space so I didn’t talk to him about this, but my job is in Darjee communications. If anyone can get something across to them, it will be me.”

I was more than amazed and wanted to take this further, but I had to ask first. “What do you want to be called?”

“I am not sure yet. I’m hoping it will be Sir at some point, but the road to Sir is still in need of crazy paving, and I haven’t picked up the bricks yet - so can we go with Felix right now until we get the crazy paving sorted out?”

It was like this person melded with my brain. He thought like me, spoke like I would, just got it, but was the other side I needed. “That works for me, but what if I say Sir when we are in bed? Will you get upset with me? If I use strange words, want strange words, other languages, want possessives and imperatives, will you be mad?”

Felix was glad I couldn’t see him because the relief on his face was a sight to behold. “No, none of that will be a problem. We can even put you in the sleep trainer to give you every language in the galaxy if you want. Would that be a nice present to welcome you as my concubine?”

I went over, threw my arms around him, felt how big he was and snuggled into his chest feeling so safe and loved.

Suddenly I heard a posh “Hello Stella” coming from somewhere in the pod. I’d forgotten about the birds and that I hadn’t met Stella the galah yet.

“She usually only likes me and bites every girl who has ever been with me, but we’ll see how it goes,” this from Felix.

I’d been this route before and usually birds love me, but I of course didn’t want Murphy’s law to start now of all times. I went with him into the room he had had made up for our birds. There were my three babies in their carriers with some pellets and water. I talked to them hoping things would be sorted for them soon and Felix asked the AI to extend the aviary portion of the pod with dividers so my three had their own space. You could also get pellets and toys, and as Felix had given me AI privileges for inside the pod, I got my beaks set up in their spaces with a cuddle and a scratch each. Then I was introduced to Stella.

We closed the room so no one could get out, and I sat on a lounge and Felix let Stella out. Immediately she flew over to me, stepped up on to my hand and walked up to my shoulder, leaning her chuffle-puffs on to my face and saying, “scratch!”