Lambs to the Slaughter
by AMP
Copyright© 2025 by AMP
Humor Story: This is an Americanization of a non-pc and probably woke story. Laugh if you must but please don't tell people who wrote it.
Tags: Humor
I worry about the eventual fate of Republican Senators. Theirs are the necks that are on the block. They seem to have lost faith in the regime but must retain the myth. It reminds me of an urban myth popular in those parts of Glasgow, Scotland that still have tenement buildings bearing the official marks condemning them as unfit for human habitation that were affixed in 1919, immediately after the Great War (Now, World War I)
One such tenement shook slightly when a truck passed on the road outside. Willie had lived there all his life. He had no wife and no close relatives. When he died, his next of kin couldn’t make the journey from his home in Australia, but he asked the old man’s pastor to arrange an open-coffin service in old Willie’s apartment.
He was well liked by the other tenants, having lived there since before they were born, so there would be a good turnout. The undertaker blanched when he was told the coffin was to be open. Willie had phthisis – a badly hunched back. When laid on his back, his wry neck forced him to face the side rather than look up to heaven as he should.
While the undertaker went back to his funeral home to consult his father who had the same problem fifty years before, his new assistant, fossicking around in the backyard, discovered an old settee with most of the stuffing gone. In an inspired moment, he removed a spring and, returning to the coffin, placed it behind the head of the departed bringing his face into the approved position.
Once the neighbors had crowded in, the pastor, resplendent in his clerical gown moved to stand beside the coffin, one hand on the side and the other holding his Bible. When the congregation had settled, he began the eulogy. As was his custom, he presented it as a prayer. Many of those present followed his example by closing their eyes.
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