Chapter 1: The Day I Found Out About Mum

My dear Angela, Yes it's me, Cherry, but please don't rip this letter up until you have read it. I know you are angry but please let me explain. I am so sorry you learned of my sexual relationship with my Mum that way and I know that as a policewoman you were worried about the possibilities that she corrupted a minor girl. I told you that it didn't happen that way at all and although it's probably too late to save your relationship with me I want to put the record straight and at least I can make sure you know the truth. I have started this tale quite a few times and each time I realise I have to go back in time a little further so that it makes chronological sense. This time I'm not going to take any chances, I'll go right back to my conception!

I'm not sure that it has anything to do with what happened but it will explain why we are not short of money! It seems my Mum was a bit of a groupie at 15 and one of our pop stars of the time took advantage of her enthusiasm by filling her body with me. To give him his due he left Mum well provided for, financially, although his benevolence didn't stretch to giving her any more of his time. No, that's not strictly true; I remember seeing him twice when I was young.

Once was at a zoo somewhere, where he gave us a full half day, albeit with him disguised, and I remember him giving Mum a wad of notes which she stuffed into her handbag. The other was when I was about 8, and I think his career was over then, but he told me he'd established a trust fund for me so I'd not want for money when I grew up. Anyway I'm not going to say his name, and as he doesn't really play any part except maybe for putting my Mum off men, I won't mention him again. I had always had a warm and close relationship with my Mum; she was an affectionate woman who always cuddled me a lot. Every evening when I was growing up I would sit on her lap to watch TV and could talk to her about everything. She helped me through those difficult puberty years and we loved each other to bits.

Let's move on a couple of years to when I'm about 10. Mum had never had many friends of either sex that I was aware of, just a few girls at work she socialised with now and then. Now, however, she had another set of friends that she would have evenings with, and either coming home worse for wear or, if I had a sitter, she would stay over with the friends. I wasn't angry that she had a new lot of friends, just the opposite, I was glad she had new mates. Over the next few years some of the friends would stop at our place after a night out, although I rarely saw them. They would come in after I was in bed and I would just hear giggling or shushing and they would be gone when I woke up. There were never any men though, and I have to admit I wondered, even at that innocent age, if Mum and her friends were sexually involved, but beat myself up for daring to think like that.

It was after one of these 'nights out', when I was just 15 that these vague suspicions surfaced once more. When some of the friends kipped down at our place there were usually only 2 or 3 of them but on this occasion there were 4. Before she went out Mum was turning out the airing cupboard, wardrobes and suitcases. I had tried to ignore all the activity but when she came into my room looking around I asked her what on earth she was looking for (before she started going through my cupboards!)

"The sleeping bag", she said, "I know we used to have one"

"We chucked that out years ago", I told her, "It got burned remember? Why?"

"Bugger! I've got 4 friends staying tonight and I was counting on that. One can stay in my bed, two on the settees and the other will just have to sleep on the floor".

"Why can't she sleep in my bed?" I offered, "I have a double bed too don't I"

She wasn't too keen on that, didn't want to disturb my beauty sleep (ha!), but I said I really didn't mind and nothing would disturb me when I was asleep. Eventually she agreed, thanking me for the offer, and then leaving for her fun evening. I wanted to stay awake to catch a glimpse of one of these friends of my mothers, who up to then I had only heard briefly, but I had dozed off when they eventually arrived back. However, I woke again when my door opened and the light streamed through. My Mum came in with another woman. She was silhouetted against the light but looked slim. I pretended to be asleep, squinting through nearly closed eyes. Mum was showing her which side to get in then kissed the woman's cheek and went out. Once again the room was quite dark but by the light of street lighting I watched as she stripped off her clothes and I shut my eyes fully as she lifted the duvet and snuggled into my bed.