Chapter 21

“I should probably call your father,” Jason said, when they got back to the house.

“Why?” Kylie asked.

“To let him know what the doctor said, and talk to him about some stuff. He’s probably worried.”

“Well ... okay, I guess,” she said, frowning. “If he’s worried.”

Jason hesitated. “Do you want to listen in?” he asked, hoping she wouldn’t.

“No ... I need to run to the bathroom anyway,” Kylie said. “I’ll just ... wait in my room, or something.”

“Thanks,” Jason said. He dialed the number as she left the room, and the secretary put him through to John with only a small delay.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, Jason. We just got back from the doctor,” he said. “She ... wasn’t happy. Kylie is to eat from now on. She weighs eighty-four pounds.”

John swore quietly under his breath. “Right. I’ll stop by the store on the way home. There’s bound to be something that can tempt her into eating. What else did she say?”

“Well ... You should probably know. Kylie’s never had a period.”

“Hmm. How concerned was the doctor about that?” John asked.

“Moderately,” Jason said. “She thinks it’s probably because of her weight.” He fell silent for a second before summoning up his courage and continuing. “And I guess you ought to know that Kylie got the contraceptive shot. I told her she didn’t have to, but her reasoning was that she’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.”

There was a moment of silence. Then, “I see. I ... guess that could be a good sign.”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “I kind of worry ... I’m afraid she might say she wants to have sex because she thinks she owes me, or something. I don’t want that.”

“Well, the fact that you realize that she might do so should give you some help in figuring it out before the fact, if she does,” John said.

Jason nodded, forgetting that John couldn’t see him. “Yeah.” He fell silent, drawing little circles on the counter-top with his finger.

“What aren’t you saying, Jason?”

Jason took a deep breath. “I think you need to see if you can get a copy of his journal.”

There was dead silence for a moment. Then, tensely, “Why?”

Jason let the rest of the breath out, then swallowed. “I don’t want to read it. God knows, I don’t want to read it. And I don’t think you do either. But ... I think it’s important that we do, because Kylie is utterly convinced that when we know what happened we won’t love her anymore. The sooner we know everything, and she realizes it doesn’t matter, the better off she’ll be.” He swallowed again. “I think. If you think I’m wrong, then for god’s sake tell me— don’t make me read that if I don’t have to.”

“She might see that as a betrayal of her trust, you know,” John said, quietly.

It was Jason’s turn to be silent. “Damn. I didn’t think about that. Um.”

“You’re right about one thing,” John said. “I have to read it. I have to know what I need to protect her from. No matter how much I don’t want to. But I’m her father, not her boyfriend. It’s a different situation.”

Jason sighed, slowly. “I don’t know. I— she told me, she actually told me, that she wouldn’t be upset when I decided I didn’t want to be with her after I found out. I just— I don’t want her living with that over her head.”

“You reading it behind her back would not be something she would take well. I can’t condone that, not at all. However ... I also don’t think that you’re going to leave her because of anything that monster forced her into, any more than I’m going to abandon her. So if you can get her permission to read it, I’ll see that you have the chance to do so.”

“Did you know that she didn’t realize that y’all actually wanted her? I think it just hadn’t sunk in. When I finally got it through to her ... god, you should have seen her. She was ecstatic.” Jason laughed. “Oh, and she loved the snake. You should have warned us, though— we weren’t expecting to see a ten foot snake this morning.”

“Why were you in our bedroom?” John asked, puzzled. “Or did Mandy’s damned snake get out of its cage and go wandering the house again?”

“You remember the jeans she bought Kylie? The size ones? They were too big. Kylie had to borrow a belt. We did manage to get it back in its cage, though.”

John was silent again. Jason suspected he knew most people didn’t start with the second drawer. “Ah. Thanks. He really shouldn’t be loose.” A bit more awkward silence. “Are you sure Kylie wasn’t bothered ... by the snake?”

“No, she was fine,” Jason said. “Actually, she liked the snake. Tried to wrap him around her, but he was too heavy.”

John laughed, and Jason could hear a hint of relief. “Well, at least she’s not scared of them. Mandy said she’d get rid of him if she had to, but she really loves the creature; she’s had him for years and years.”

“Oh, god no, she loved him,” Jason said. “But damn he’s heavy. I hadn’t thought a snake would be that heavy.”

“Yep,” John said. “You would be too if all you did was eat, sleep, and be picturesque. All right. I’ll call the doctor and see if she has any suggestions on tempting Kylie to eat, and then ... the police, about that ... other matter. We’ll talk more when I get home tonight.”

“Okay,” Jason said. “Oh! What do you think about trying to get Kylie to go to the dojo with us tonight?”

“You have lessons on Wednesdays?” John asked. “I hadn’t realized that. Mine are actually on Sundays, just me, not a class. Hmm. I think she’d probably rather go with you than get left behind, but ... it depends on how she’s doing, how much she’s calmed down. She might be fine at home with Mandy and I, too, and maybe more comfortable than going around a lot of people.”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “I was just thinking, she’d mentioned several times about how she hated feeling helpless. And she’s a pacifist. I figured Aikido would be perfect for her.”

“I agree with you there,” John said. “I’m just not sure of the timing. I don’t want to push her, not into anything.”

“Neither do I,” Jason said. “Not at all.”

“So, we’ll see how she’s feeling tonight, and take it from there. How is she doing today so far? Is there any chance she’ll be able to come to school tomorrow, or should I go ahead and arrange another day off?”

“I think she might be able to go,” Jason said. “I’m not certain, of course, but I wouldn’t rule it out.”

“Good! Not pushing, but it’s good that it can be a possibility,” John said. “That shows a lot of improvement. I have the name of a local therapist that I’m trying to set up an appointment for her with, but the woman is booked solid through this week.” He sighed. “Well. Like I said, we’ll talk about everything when I get home. I have to get back to my class before they blow up the lab.”

“Right,” Jason said. “Doesn’t do any good if she’s ready to go back if there’s no school left.”

Jason met Kylie as she came down the hall, kissing her softly as she wrapped her arms around him. “I didn’t say it earlier, but thank you for staying with me at the doctor’s,” she said. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I don’t know if you realized how much it helped to have you there, but ... it did. A lot.”

“Thanks,” Jason said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Let’s go sit down.”

She followed him into the living room, sitting next to him on the couch but carefully not touching, posture straight and hands in her lap.

“Kylie?” he asked, puzzled.

“I don’t know how to do this sort of thing,” she admitted, looking down at her hands and blushing. “I don’t know how to act, how to be ... um ... normal, I guess.”