Chapter 17

John peeked in the door, catching Jason's eye, and held up a pair of loose shorts. "To sleep in, if you want," he said, quietly. "Guest room... her room ... is down the hall to the left. I left the lamp on and the door open."

Jason looked at the shorts and nodded. "I don't usually, but I probably should tonight." He stood up, lifting Kylie in his arms, and carried her down the hall into a large room decorated in shades of blue and green. A queen-sized four-poster bed dominated one side of the room, a dresser on one wall, and a set of bookshelves on the third, with a small desk set into a clear space in the center of the shelves. Next to the dresser an open door revealed a private bathroom, and on the bed was a selection of nightgowns, oversized t-shirts, and pajamas.

Jason set her carefully down on the edge of the bed, kneeling beside her. "What do you want?" he asked, motioning to the clothing.

Kylie blinked sleepily, not understanding the question for a moment. "Oh!" she finally answered, sounding surprised. "Um. Ooooh ... how pretty ... can I have that one?" She hesitantly pointed to a lacy white spaghetti-strap nightgown.

Jason nodded and picked it up, then stopped, unsure. "Um ... do you want me to go in the other room while you put it on?"

"Why?" asked Kylie, blinking. "You undressed me this morning."

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?" he said, feeling foolish. "I ... guess I just assumed..."

"Jason," Kylie said, touching his arm with one small hand, "I could never be afraid of you."

"Thanks," he said, softly. "I just don't want to ... to do anything that makes you think of him."

Kylie reached out, taking his hand, and held it against her cheek as he moved so that he was directly in front of her. Leaning forward, she kissed him gently. "He never offered me a nightgown," she said, quietly.

"Then you get a nightgown," Jason said, smiling, as he reached out and tenderly tugged her shirt up over her head, leaning forward to kiss her stomach.

Her breath faltered, just a bit, but she raised her arms, allowing him to pull the shirt over her head. He unfastened the torn bra, laying it aside, and gently, tenderly, kissed each nipple.

"I love you," he said, softly, looking into her eyes. She trembled, trying to smile, but her hands were making fists in the bed-covers. "We're not going to do anything tonight, love. Just sleep, holding each other."

"Jason, if ... if you want ... you're different..." she said.

"I want." Jason waited just a beat. "I want you to feel safe. I want you to be happy. That's all that matters. Remember what I said about sex not being the important thing? This is what I meant. I don't need to do anything with you, as long as I can hold you."

Kylie swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears, and whispered, "I love you."

"Thank you," he said, swallowing.

She stood, trembling, her hands poised at the zipper of her skirt, and he looked up into her eyes.

"Would you like me to?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Please," she whispered.

He reached for the zipper, tugging it down, and let the skirt fall to the floor. She shivered, standing in front of him in tiny, white satin panties, her hands holding tightly to his shoulders.

Jason placed his hands on her hips, just above her panties. "Do you want these on or off?"

She hesitated for a long moment. "O-off. I don't want anything of his touching me, ever again."

"All right," he said, pulling them down. "There you go." He looked at her for a moment, thinking, putting some of the things he'd learned in his psych classes together. "Do you want to take a shower? To kind of ... finish it?"

Kylie nibbled on her lower lip, and despite his worry he couldn't help but think how adorable it was. "Stay with me?"

"If you want, of course," he said, nodding. "But..." He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm trying real hard not to assume, okay? I don't want to ... to force you at all."

"Jason ... you can't force me. I would do anything you want willingly, unless you ask me to leave you."

Jason bit his lip. "I don't-- I don't want you to do things just because I want them. I want you to do them because you want them."

"A-all I want is to be with you," Kylie said. "Just don't leave me. I-- I can't stand to be alone tonight."

Jason took her hand and stood, gently pulling her up. "Do you want to undress me?" he asked, as he led her to the bathroom and started the shower running. "Or do you want me to undress myself?"

Kylie blushed, looking at the floor. "You, please." She avoided looking at him below the waist, but didn't seem noticeably more nervous, even when he stepped into the shower and held out his hand for her.

She took his hand, stepping in next to him, and he held her close for a moment before reaching for the soap. She sighed in pleasure, relaxing against him, as he began to gently wash her, caressing her as he did.

"Mmm. Warm. Wonderful," she said, her eyes closed, and he smiled as he finished up her back. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if she'd want to do her front herself, but she simply turned around and leaned back against him.

When he hesitated again after doing the front of her shoulders, she leaned her head back and opened her eyes.

"Jason, it's all right," she said. "You don't know how different--" She broke off, shaking her head. "It's all right," she said again.

He moved his hands lower, soaping the upper curve of her breast. "I just--" He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. "I couldn't stand it if I did something to remind you of..."

Kylie closed her eyes, relaxing against him again. "My love ... there's no way not to remind me of ... it. It was... he was ... my entire life for the past three years. Every moment of every day was owned by him. I can't forget that. But..." She turned in his arms suddenly, stretching up to press against him and wrap her arms around him. "But you're not him. Just ... stay with me. Touch me, talk to me, so I know you're here, you're you."

He nodded. "I'll do that." He ran his hands down her back, over the curves of her ass. "I ... I said we didn't have to do anything. I just assumed ... if you want to, if it would make you feel better, we can."

She peeked up at him, shyly, then quickly looked down. "I ... I don't know. I won't lie to you. The thought frightens me. But ... I don't want to be frightened of you. And I know I shouldn't be. I know you won't hurt me."

"We don't have to do anything," he said. "I just ... I didn't want you to think I didn't want to." He stopped, thinking for a moment. "I'm assuming that he never did anything to ... to please you. Would you like me to?"

She smiled, looking back up at him. "I didn't know it was possible to please me until you did it, Jason. I thought ... I thought he'd damaged me somehow, and I'd never feel anything but pain..." Her voice trailed off in a whisper.

He couldn't help the smile that formed on his face. "Well, I'd say we disproved that theory rather spectacularly today."

Kylie blushed bright red. "Yesterday," she corrected.

He blinked, lost for a moment, then remembered the scene in the gym. "Point," he said, laughing. "I was referring to how Sherry's snarky little request backfired on her, though."

She managed to blush even brighter. "Oh, god, Jason ... I love you, I love you so much ... but I don't understand how you can stand for people like that to touch you, much less enjoy it!"

One corner of his mouth quirked. "I'll tell you a secret-- I don't do things with people like that, not if I know they're like that. I had sort-of kind-of had a date to go to the party with Sherry after the game next week, but even if you decided you never wanted to see me again tomorrow it wouldn't happen. I don't want to be with someone like that. Luckily for me, most girls aren't."

At her skeptical look, he nodded. "Really. They might go along with her, but you saw how people reacted after I made you come-- and you saw how pretty much nobody was on her side after that blowjob." He hesitated for a moment, then continued. "And I'll tell you something else-- you might find that once she finds out what happened to you that she changes her whole attitude. She might not, she might just be that much of a bitch, but then again she might feel like shit for how she treated you."

Kylie shuddered. "I'm scared of that ... of what people will say about me, how they'll treat me when they know. I'm scared of what they'll say about you for staying with me."

"Kylie, frankly, I don't give a shit. People like that, I don't need them. They can fuck off."

She looked up at him worriedly, the water streaming off of her hair and down her cheeks. "You don't know what it's like ... you've never been treated like that. It hurts, Jason. I don't want to hurt you."