Chapter 4

In the two weeks since the funeral, Jessica had managed to put some semblance of meaning back into her life. She, at first, had simply degenerated into first hysteria, then self-pity at the loss of the man who had brought her such happiness, refusing to eat, never leaving the house, sleeping excessively. At last, Donna, a close friend had reminded the grieving widow that she had another life to think of now and could no longer indulge in such self destructive behavior. Jessica realized how selfish she had been and resolved to take the best of care of the last physical connection she had with her dead husband.

Her heart still ached and she found herself drifting into daydreams, reminiscences of the wonderful moments she and Kenny had spent together. But she also ended her morbid self pity and began a regimen of proper exercise and diet to provide for both herself and the life within.

Jessica had received a phone call from Kenny's life insurance agent. The two had been friends and he had promised the husband that if anything ever happened, he would see that Jessica was okay. He explained that despite the fact that it had not been long since Kenny's death, she should locate the policy and he would take care of everything from there. While searching through the old roll-top desk where Kenny kept the financial records, she found the policy. Then, in a small out of the way drawer, she came across an envelope she had never seen before: FOR JESSIE it was labeled. Curious, she sat down and tore open the envelope. Inside was a single page letter dated five months earlier.

DEAR JESSIE,

I PUT THIS LETTER WHERE YOU WOULD FIND IT IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENS TO ME. SINCE YOU ARE READING IT NOW, THIS MEANS I AM NO LONGER WITH YOU AND OUR CHILD. PLEASE KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAS TORN US APART IS BEYOND MY ABILITY TO CONTROL. IF IT WERE LEFT TO ME, WE WOULD BE TOGETHER FOREVER. I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.

BUT I ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF LOVE REALLY DOES CONQUER ALL, WE SHALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN. NO, NOT IN THE HEREAFTER. THERE ARE SIMPLY TOO MANY WAYS LEFT TO SHOW YOU MY LOVE, TOO MANY EXPERIENCES FOR US TO SHARE, TOO MANY NIGHTS TO MELD OUR BODIES AND SOULS.

SO I MAKE YOU THIS PLEDGE. IF THERE IS A WAY, ANY WAY, FOR ME TO RETURN, I WILL DO SO. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW OR WHEN OR WHERE, BUT LOOK FOR A SIGN AND I SHALL MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO LET YOU KNOW THAT MY LOVE STILL LIVES AND THAT I AM STILL WITH YOU.

ALL MY LOVE,

KENNY

Jessica clutched the letter to her bosom, tears misting in her intense cobalt blue eyes. How strange, she thought. Kenny had never mentioned the existence of the letter and he certainly had never mentioned any interest in or contact with a hereafter. Yet his love had been so powerful, he had been sure he could reach through even death to find her, embrace her once again.

Solemnly she placed the letter in the small drawer. What love he must have felt for me, she thought, and again the tears rolled down her cheeks as she turned and walked back to her housework.

Slowly, over the weeks which followed, the reality of life without Kenny became conceivable. She began to function again, taking a necessary interest in their music business and allowing the relatives and friends who she had shut out, back into her life.

Kenny's parents, Marge and Allen, who lived in a nearby retirement community dropped by often (both of Jessica's parents were gone now). Jessica found herself leaning on Allen to help with small repairs and projects around the house while Marge was a stalwart friend and advisor, especially her advice as the time grew nearer for the arrival of the newcomer. They, of course, shared the sorrow of the loss of their son, but both had always been extremely fond of Jessica and, with her own parents gone, she had come, over her years of marriage, to refer to them as Mom and Dad.