Chapter 2: Jenny's Story

I opened my eyes and took a look around. "Where the hell am I?" I asked myself. I realized that I was in the hospital. I went to move my arms and discovered that they were tied down.

"Why am I still alive?" I yelled out loud.

With this, I noticed some movement to my right. I looked over and saw Mark sitting in the chair by the bed. What the hell was he doing here? He blew me off 9 months ago.

"Oh good, you're ok."

"Why would you fucking care how I am? You blew me off last fall. What do you care about me?"

As I was saying this, he had gotten up and walked toward the door. He stepped into the hall just as I finished. "Yeah, he doesn't care." I thought to myself. He returned a minute later and looked at me with a smile.

"I was afraid I was going to lose you for good earlier. You scared the daylights out of me."

"Where the hell have you been? You disappear 9 months ago and suddenly you're worried about me now."

"Where do you think I've been? I've been at home waiting for you."

"What the hell are you talking about? Waiting for me? In case you've forgotten, you took off and left me."

Before he could answer, someone entered the room. I turned my head to see who it was. Oh great, it's Mark's mom. Just what I needed now. She turned to Mark to talk first.

"Mark, would you go wait in the hall for a few minutes. I need to do some things without you here."

"Ok mom. Let me know when you're done."

Mark got back up and walked out of the room. His mom followed to the door and closed it behind him.

"It's nice to see you again Jenny. I'll admit, I would have preferred it if you had stopped in for some lemonade or something."

"Who cares? My Mom certainly doesn't care. If she cared, she'd be here. Why should you or Mark care if she don't?"

"Your mom is here Jenny. We had to sedate her. She was going hysterical. She almost made herself sick."

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Jenny, What happened between you and Mark last fall?"

"Why do you care?"

"Well, for one thing, I do care about you. For another, this is the most Mark has talked in months."

"What do you mean?"

"Since last fall, Mark has been in a deep depression. For almost 4 months, Mark never said a single word. I got him into counseling 5 months ago and he has been slowly coming out of it, but he still only was giving one-word answers at best. I didn't realize until the trip here that it had something to do with you. I had always thought that his depression probably chased you away, but now I realize that something between you happened that caused it."

"All I know is that he blew me off one day and I have barely even seen him since."

"What do you mean he blew you off?"

"It was the day of the fall dance announcement. Ryan Jacobs asked me to go with him. I wanted to celebrate and when Mark got there, I wanted him to celebrate with me. A minute later, he blew me off and left without saying a word."

"Oh my, the fall dance. Now I understand."

"Understand what?"

"The last thing I remember Mark saying that day was that he was going to your house to ask you to go with him. I bet your good news simply crushed Mark."

"You mean he wanted me to go him? I didn't know."

"It sounds like he never had the chance to tell you. You were celebrating before he could even attempt to ask. He left because he was crushed."

I suddenly felt pretty bad for Mark. I didn't know what happened. Mark was my best friend and without knowing it, I had hurt him.

"Jenny, did you know that Mark found you this morning?"

"No."

"He was the one who found you. He used his shirt to slow the bleeding, carried you to our house where I drove you to the emergency room. All they way here I could hear him praying for your life. He never stopped caring about you."

Now I felt pretty bad. I had thought that he was just being stupid.

While she had been talking to me, Mrs. Andrews had been checking me over, taking vitals and stuff. She appeared to have completed what she needed to do.

"Well, you seem to be in good shape. I'm going to let Mark back in now. I also have to check on your mother as well. I'm supposed to be off today, but I volunteered to help with you."

All I could say was a very light, "ok." I was still shocked that Mark went into that much of a depression because of my going to the dance with Ryan. I had also never gone over to check on Mark either. That thought made me feel even worse. Mrs. Andrews had left and Mark came back in the room and sat down. He spoke first.

"How are you feeling."

"Alive. Why did you save me? Why didn't you just leave me there?"

"Jenny, I care about you. We were best friends for so long. I never want to see anybody die."

"Mark, your mom told me that you were going to ask me to the fall dance that day. Was that true?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you?"

"When I got to your house, you told me about Ryan. You were so happy. I wanted to help you celebrate but the more I thought about it, the more it made me hurt. I just wanted to sit down and cry so I left to do just that. I figured that you would come looking for me later, but you never did. That just made it worse."

"So bad that you stopped talking?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. You didn't know. The important thing is that you know now. We can move forward from here."

"You would still want me after this?"

"Jenny, I would love you no matter what happens."

"You love me?"

"Yes, I do. I'll admit it to anyone who needs to know it too."

"Mark, there's more."

"I know."

I looked up to see him pull something out of his pocket. I knew immediately that it was the note that I had written. I wanted to cry again.

"How did you get that?"

"I found you in the woods this morning. I'm still covered in your blood from carrying you out of there." He pulled up the hospital scrub he was wearing to show me. You could clearly make out the blood on him when he did.

"Does my Mom know about that?"

"If you're asking about the pregnant part, yes she knows. We had to tell the doctors to protect the baby from the drugs they were using to treat you."

"She's going to kill me." I started to cry. I couldn't even cover my face since my hands were tied down to the bed. Mark must have realized what I needed and came up and put his arms around me as much as he could to give me a hug.

"It's ok Jenny. I'm here again. We'll get through this together like we always did."

We stayed like that for a while. I really don't know how long it was before Mark's mom returned. It felt good having him holding me.

When Mrs. Andrews entered and saw us, she stopped and smiled. I think he nearly went through the ceiling when his mom cleared her throat to let him know someone was there.

"Jenny, we're going to have to admit your mother for the night as well. The news seems to have given her a bit of a nervous breakdown. We're going to give her another sedative."

"Mrs. Andrews, what about Janice?"

"She's with the neighbor. I'm going to pick her up on the way home and she'll stay with us tonight."

"Ok."

"Now I have to get down to business. Jenny, would you like Mark to stay for this?"

"Yes, Please."

"Tomorrow morning, you will be getting a visit from a psychiatrist. This is standard procedure after someone has attempted suicide. We have to do this and you have to go through this. They will evaluate you then to get an idea what they are dealing with. In a few days, after your wounds have healed enough, you will be transferred to the psychiatric hospital across town. Unfortunately, this is not optional. We need to do everything possible to make certain that you don't try to do this again. The numbers indicate that many who try, will try again and many will succeed on the second attempt. Do you understand this?"