Chapter 8: Second thoughts

On Wednesday, Ken greeted Amanda with a simple "hello." He didn't ask any questions with the greeting; he didn't make any demands -- he didn't even require a response.

Amanda responded with a simple but polite, "Hi," and held out the book for him.

After reading for about 45 minutes, Ken closed the book and sighed. "Amanda, we've spent a few hours together, and we're going to my dance this weekend, but we really don't know much about each other."

Leaning forward in her chair she responded, "What the fuck do you want to know about me?... Shit, why did I say it that way, yeah, let's talk a little."

"I think I already told you I'm seventeen. I do pretty well in school, I really enjoy working with computers, I don't do sports, I drive a pickup truck and I work at a movie theater."

"I'm seventeen too, I can't see, I can't drive, I can't get around by myself, I don't date, I can't use a computer, and I don't have any friends. I can't even go to the damn bathroom here by myself. How can I go to a school dance with you? How can I possibly dance with you when I can't see you? I can't dance anymore anyway. Fuck it, why are we even talking, this is so fucked up." She felt tears forming in her eyes and turned her head to keep him from seeing them before wiping them away with her hand.

"Know what? I'll bet you can dance just fine, and I'll just have to stay with you. Pretty much anyone can dance if they give it a try. Before last year I was afraid to dance, but a couple of friends convinced me that I should just get out there and do it. I don't do any special steps, but I dance and I have fun."

She was quiet.

"You know... you just kind of move in time with the music, there isn't much else to it. The slow dances are even easier; you just sway to the music and make little circles with your partner. No big deal."

"I don't have any clothes for it either. Just how am I supposed to pick out clothes?"

"I guess that's one where you need to ask your mom for some help."

She had to chuckle on that one, "Suuuurrrrrre, let my mom pick out my clothes for a dance, every girl's dream. Shit, let's stop talking like this. There's too much to think about; it's making me feel sick. Can you help me out to my mom so I can go home?"

She heard him stand. After several seconds he said, "I'm going to touch your hand with mine, you can hold it and get up." She figured he wasn't used to working with the blind. He'd probably offered her his hand, but of course she couldn't see it. He must have realized it and then figured out what to do.

She felt him touch the back of her hand. She took his hand in hers and let him lead her out of the room back to Miss Harris' desk. At least he learned quickly.

As usual, her mom was there waiting. Kate didn't say anything but inside she was shocked, this was the first time Amanda had let anyone who wasn't her parent or an assigned guide help her get around. She had no idea how this had come about, but it seemed like a huge step in the right direction for her poor daughter.

Over dinner they talked about plans for the dance. Amanda reminded her mom that she needed a dress to wear. Kate went even further, Amanda needed a dress, shoes and maybe some other accessories if she was to look good at the dance. She probably should get her hair done too.