Chapter 11: Game Day - Amanda

It was late Friday afternoon and Amanda should have been preparing for her Football Game date with Ken. She wasn't.

She sat on the edge of her bed. Her legs were held tightly together, her upper body leaned over, pressing her crossed arms into her lap. Her head was bowed, her eyes were closed and her hands were clenched into tight fists. She slowly rocked forward and backward, no sound, no other motion, just a slow rock, to and fro.

Kate went to the door of Amanda's room to see if she needed help getting ready for her date. She was about to call out to her when she saw her little girl sitting on her bed, looking almost catatonic. She'd seen her daughter in many moods since her accident two years ago, but this was the first time she'd looked so completely helpless, and as a mother, it hurt her. She walked into the room and, starting to softly stroke the back of her daughter's head with one hand, she asked, "Honey, what's wrong?"

It took longer than a moment, but the girl finally gave a little start and broke from her stupor. But then she covered her face with her hands as she seemed to fold even more into herself and began softly sobbing. Through the tears and hiccups, Kate heard, "Mom, I can't do this... how can I go out with a guy when... when I can't even... dress myself? Besides that, I'm too thin, and... I don't have any tits. I'm going to... to look awful, and I'm... going to do something dumb, and... and make a complete and total fool of myself... and no one will ever want to... even talk to me again!"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she put one arm around her daughter's shoulders, "Baby, you are a smart girl, and a very pretty one too. You aren't going to do anything crazy and Ken seems like a caring boy. I'll bet you only need to ask him and he'll help you with almost anything. If there is something you're uncomfortable with, tell him, and I'm sure he'll understand. You and he can have a really good time if you give it half a chance."

"He only asked me out of spite." She said, lip quivering and eyes still swimming.

Kate laughed, "I guess that's true, but I doubt he'd even have done that if he hadn't been at least a little interested, and I think its gone beyond that now. From what I've seen of him, and the way he's looked at you, I'm sure he's looking forward to spending time with you. And remember, you agreed to this. You don't want to go back on a promise do you?"

She reflected for a moment then rubbing her eyes and asked, "Mom, can you help me get ready? I want to look special tonight, and I can't do it myself."

"Of course honey. First let's get your face washed up, then we'll find you the right clothes. I've got some perfume guaranteed to drive males mad, and what do you think about a little makeup?"

"I'm not your baby doll, Mother," she snapped.

"Don't be so sure of that."

Both Mother and daughter giggled then began working at preparing for the date.

Even with her mother's help, and attempts to calm her, the queasy feeling in her stomach didn't totally go away. She was nervous and knew it. This was her first date in two years. To tell the truth, it was the first time she'd done anything social with kids her age since the accident. While to others she put up an image of anger and overall unpleasantness, she knew, deep down inside, it was all an act. In her heart, she knew her anger and profanity were really an attempt to keep others away from her; to keep them from seeing her insecurities, and just how terrified she was of almost everything. This date was both frightening and exciting, and while she really wanted to do it, she kept finding reasons why it could never work out. Lots of reasons.

With her mom's help, she chose her clothes. The dark blue fuzzy sweater fit closely enough to show off the slight curves she did have, and felt great where it touched her skin as well as looking good from the outside. Her jeans also showed off her figure without being overly tight. Her mom told her that clothes emphasizing her femininity would go a long way toward overcoming her thin stature, and Amanda hoped she was right.

Her mom's perfume did smell good, and she dabbed a little on both sides of her neck then on both wrists. Kate put just on a touch of makeup around her eyes and a light coat of pale lipstick to highlight her lips. Standing back and taking a critical look at her daughter, she pronounced her ready, and just in time because as they were applying the finishing touches, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get the door; you sit here for a few minutes and then come out. Ladies always make the gentleman wait a little. Plus your dad and I need to talk to him a bit before you go anywhere."

After her mom and dad did the 'grill-the-date' thing, and her dad gave her his cell phone, she and Ken drove off to the game in his truck. They had the cell phone set up to make it easy for her to use. The number five button had a little raised spot on it that she could easily feel, and was programmed as the speed dial key for their home number. All she'd have to do in an emergency was hold it down for a few seconds and the phone would dial home. The number nine just below and to the right was programmed for 911.

On the way, Ken tried making conversation with her asking about what she liked in school. The question brought back some vivid memories; she used to be really into reading and art and had been pretty good in science. Her parents liked decorating their house using their daughter's art work, so there were quite a few of her sculptures, drawings, and paintings around the house. She hadn't tried any of that since the accident. She couldn't see the point, how could she appreciate art -- much less create it -- if she couldn't see it? There was one favorite little sculpture of a cat in the living room; she liked to take it off the mantle now and then just to feel the shape and textures.

When they got to the school, he guided her up the bleachers to sit with his friends. Jon and Sandy sounded like nice people. They joked and teased a little, and shared some laughs before sitting down, Amanda between Sandy and Ken. Once she was seated, she let go of Ken's arm and immediately, a wave of nausea swept over her; she felt like she was going to fall off the bench, and immediately grabbed onto Ken again.

"You okay?" he asked when he felt her clutch his arm even tighter than before.

"I guess I'm not quite ready to sit here on my own. You mind if I hold on for a while?"

He pushed her hands down to his so he could hold her as well. She felt a warm vibration bounce through her body when he said with a soft, sincere sounding voice, "You can hold me all night if you want."

After a quiet moment, he asked, "I don't think I ever really asked before, are you a football fan? How are you on the rules and all that?"

"I used to watch a lot. I even played sometimes at a family picnic or in gym class. I guess I remember the rules well enough to understand what's going on."

"That's good, but even if you know the game, it will be hard to follow football if you can't see the plays. You're going to need a narrator and while I could do that, a professional would be better. The local radio station broadcasts some of these games live; I checked earlier and they are covering this one, so I brought along a radio and earbuds. We can try setting it up so you can hear the play-by-play on the radio while we're here at the game. What do you think?"

"Wow, great idea! I was so concerned about just being here that I hadn't thought at all about being able to follow the game. How'd you come up with that idea?"

"I told you I'm into technology and I've been thinking about this for a while."

He got the radio and earbuds out of his pocket, turned it on, and let her put the bud to her ear. She was about to put it in when she hesitated, "Did you clean this thing?"

"What? Don't you want to share my earwax?"

Sandy, who'd been following this exchange blurted out, "Ewww gross!"

Ken laughed, "It's a new pair of earbuds. These came with my CD player and I already had a set I liked better. I never even unwrapped the cord until today."

She put one side in her ear and tried it. She could hear the radio station and could still hear him plus the buzz in the stands through the other ear. Without even thinking about it she lifted her arms and gave him a quick hug saying, "Thanks! This just might work!" Then just as quickly, she slid her hand back down to his and held on tight.

"Are you going to cheer for our team?"

"And if I don't?"

"You'll probably need to find another ride home."

"What? You'd dump me over cheering for the football team?" Her hand clenched his a little tighter and she sounded genuinely concerned.

"It's not that. You're sitting on the Eagles' side of the field, and I'd be dead from trying to defend you from rabid fans if you cheered for the Wildcats. I promised your dad I'd take care of you and I take my promises seriously."

All four laughed, but her grip on his hand stayed tight.

Jon offered to make a snack stand run so Ken gave him some cash for drinks and popcorn for himself and Amanda. Popcorn, especially, was an essential part of going to a game and of course you needed a drink to wash it down. She moved from holding his hand back to holding his arm so he could keep the popcorn box between them. He noticed that she had no trouble at all setting her drink cup down and finding it again. Same thing with the popcorn bin. Clearly, once she knew where something was, she could be self-sufficient. As the game got underway, he was less and less aware that she was any different than any other girl he'd gone out with.

At one point, during a cheer, his ex-girlfriend, Kelly showed her somewhat clumsy nature in slipping on the grass, and landing on her nicely padded fanny. He laughed and turned to Amanda, "Did you see that? I can't believe she's a cheerleader."

Her pretty eyes were closed and she had a look of pleasure, almost rapture, on her face as she seemed to be feeling the cool breeze, enjoying the smell of the fall air and the popcorn, and drinking in the sounds of the game and the crowd. He wondered if she was even still aware of him.

She'd been daydreaming a little and turned her head back to Ken, "What?"

"Kelly, the girl I was going with for a few months, just fell on her butt during a cheer. The look on her face was really funny, and the other girls had to help her get up."

"Are you watching the game or the cheerleaders?"

"Damn! You caught me."

She portrayed more confidence than she felt when she replied, "Just remember who you're with and you might survive the night."

She was having a good time and it felt great. She was holding onto a nice guy who sincerely seemed to enjoy being with her. She was in a crowd of kids her own age who didn't even realize she couldn't see, and was truly enjoying the football game. The radio commentary, and the cheers, groans, and applause from the crowd made her feel like she was a part of the action. However the insecurity that was always with her pushed its way back to the surface, and she asked herself, Does he really wish he was with the cheerleader? Don't be so stupid. Of course he does! Why would anyone choose me over any other girl? I'm just a substitute until something better comes along, and I need to remember that before I get too comfortable. She let go of him and put her hands in her lap. A few moments later, Ken slid over on the seat until their legs and shoulders touched. She wondered if it was an act.

Amanda didn't realize that Ken had his own heartache. Sure, he was here with her tonight but a week ago, he'd thought he was in love with that girl on the field, and then she'd dumped him like a sack of garbage when a "better" offer came along. He was enjoying having Amanda next to him, but he still couldn't help but feel a little pang when he saw Kelly's smiling face and the sexy curves he knew so well out there with the cheer squad. The thought kept echoing in his head, "he'd been dumped", it hurt. He didn't even think about it, but when the girl next to him let go of his hand, he automatically slid closer to keep the contact, and to reassure himself that beside him was a girl who liked him enough to come to the game with him.

A few minutes before halftime, a new problem started making its presence known. The drink she'd had with the popcorn was creating a pressure in her bladder that was growing to a point where she knew she'd have to take care of it before she got home. This was embarrassing! Ken would help her to the restroom, no issue there, but she would need help in the restroom too, something Ken couldn't do, and honestly, she wouldn't what that anyway. What the hell could she do? Again she felt helpless, and as the panic began to rise, she knew she shouldn't have come. But after thinking about it for a moment more, the solution was so obvious she almost laughed. Girls always went to the restroom together, and there was a girl sitting right next to her. She reached her hand out to locate Sandy then leaned across and whispered...

Sandy grabbed her hand, "Guys, we ladies need to freshen up. Ken, stand up and let us by."

As they shuffled out to the bleacher stairs, Amanda told Sandy what she needed for guidance, and they made it down the stairs easily. She was so used to being guided that she didn't think anything of walking down the sidelines holding hands with Sandy, a girl she'd just met.

As they made their way to the restrooms, Sandy asked, "What do you think of Ken?"

"He seems like a really nice guy, and I could probably like him a lot, but I think he'd rather be with that cheerleader."

"You know that she dumped him for a football player just last weekend don't you?

"He told me. But he was watching her during the game."

"He watched her fall on her ass, and thought it was hilarious! Think about it; he went out with her for a couple of months, so you can't expect him not to at least look at her. I've known Ken for years, and he's a great guy, and a great friend; loyal to a fault. You're the one he came here with. If he didn't want to be here with you, he wouldn't be. Forget Kelly, she's history! With what she did to him, and for something as selfish has her own 'image', there isn't any way he'd ever even think of going back to her."

In the restroom, Sandy led her to an empty stall and pronounced it reasonably clean and obstacle free. At the sinks, after they both took care of their business, Sandy offered to touch up her makeup. With a quick pass of the lipstick, they headed back to their dates, continuing their gossip, as well as getting to know each other better on the way.