July was coming to a close in the summer of 1956, and I had been hard at work from sunrise to sundown. I was now an experienced caddy over at Shennecossett Golf Club and on the A list of escorts for the Saturday dances at the Griswold Hotel. A list escorts had an open invitation to work at every Saturday dance. It paid $10.00 for the evening, and involved dancing and talking with the female guests at the Hotel. The escorts referred to the Saturday dances as the Wallflowers Ball. Popular wisdom held that the girls that attended were too unattractive to get dance partners on their own, so the hotel had to hire dancing partners for them. This wasn't true, at least based on my own experiences. In the five or six summers I worked as an escort, I had the pleasure of meeting and dancing with any number of attractive girls. I danced with some girls who were less attractive too, but just by virtue of being young and healthy, most of the girls were attractive in some way. I had gotten a ride from my cousin, Dale to the final dance of the month. In the summer season there were dances every Saturday, but the last Saturday of the month was the big dance. The bands were always better known, and the dress was a little more formal. I had only recently made the A list, and had celebrated by going out and buying a new formal dinner jacket and cummerbund. I had grown to about six feet one and had put on enough weight that I didn't look skeletal anymore. I thought I looked pretty good in the new dinner jacket, and was anxious to see if the Griswold ladies held a similar opinion.

On this particular evening Mr. Hoskins, who was in charge of the dances, singled me out for special attention. He complimented me on my new jacket and had me adjust my tie only slightly. Once he was satisfied that my ears and fingernails were clean and my breath wasn't rancid, he told me that he needed me to do him a big favor. He told me that one of the guests had a daughter who was in need of cheering up. Her father had asked Mr. Hoskins to find a young man who would pay her special attention and get her mind off of her troubles. Mr. Hoskins didn't say what her troubles might be, but when he palmed me a twenty dollar bill, I knew I would try my best to make sure that she had a good time. To be honest, I was convinced by the amount of the money that she must really be an unattractive girl. I was sitting down on the end chair next to Mr. Hoskins while the hotel guests were admitted into the ballroom. Mr. Hoskins leaned over as a young girl and her parents walked in and were seated at a table near the bandstand. He told me that the girl in the pink gown was the young lady that needed cheering up. At first I couldn't believe that he was pointing me at the right girl. She was a brunette about five four or five and had a clear complexion and a very nice smile. She was talking with her mother and sure didn't look like she needed cheering up to me. She was probably better looking than all but a small handful of girls and women at the dance. Her figure looked slightly on the thin side, but there was no doubt about her being a girl. I suddenly started worrying that she might not like me, and that I'd have to return the money to Mr. Hoskins.

As soon as the band broke into their first number I was up on my feet and hurrying over to her table. "Good evening, my name is Jackie, may I please have this dance?" I really meant it too, I wanted her to say yes, and not just for the money either. She looked even better up close. I think she was going to refuse me, when her mother and father both urged her to go ahead and dance with me. She finally assented and stood up. With her heels, she was perhaps five nine, so I revised her height estimate in my mind to at least five foot six. Her parents had called her Brenda, so I didn't have to ask her for her name. Up close, I thought she appeared to be around sixteen years old. "Brenda, where do you live?" She seemed startled that I knew her name.

"Uh, Providence, Rhode Island. I'm sorry, I forgot your name?"

"Jackie. Actually it's John, but that's my father's name too, so everyone calls me Jackie. Are you still in high school?"

"Yes, I'll be a senior this fall, how about you?" One of the things I'd been told over and over again was not to tell them how young I really was, which was fourteen. Almost always, the daughters of the guests at these dances were older than I was. I could pass for sixteen easily, and often had, because of my height. I almost said I was going to be a senior too, but changed my mind at the last second and told her I was only going to be a junior. I told her that my birthday was in November so I'd just missed the cutoff or else I'd be a senior this year too.

"Are you seventeen already?" She blushed a little as I was looking at her face and looked down at the floor between us. She mumbled something that I wasn't able to make out. "Excuse me, would you repeat that, I couldn't quite make it out." She looked up at me and I thought she was about to cry.

"No, I'm sorry, I lied to you, I'm only fifteen. I'm really going into tenth grade. I'm so embarrassed." For some reason she was really distressed and I wondered why. In those days lying about your age wasn't that big of a deal. Getting caught was mildly embarrassing, but not to the point of being that upset.

"I should apologize too then. I'm only fifteen as well, I was afraid you wouldn't dance with me anymore if you knew I was younger than you."

"Really, you're only fifteen too? And you're going to be a junior?"

"Yes, that's right. I was able to skip half the first and half the second grades because I was taller than all the other boys and I guess I was good in school too." This part at least, the skipping of a grade, was true, although I was only going into ninth grade. By the time we were done getting all that straightened out, we'd been out on the dance floor for about fifteen minutes. When the music ended I took her back to her table and told her how much I enjoyed meeting her and dancing with her. I told her that I'd like to dance with her again soon. I thought her parents seemed happy when they looked at their daughter when she sat back down.

I went and asked another girl to dance. I don't remember too much about that girl other than for the fact that was heavy and that she wasted no time before she stepped on my nice shoes. I had spit shined them to a fine luster before she stepped right on the toe with the full weight of her sole. While she and I danced, I divided my time between trying to hold a conversation with her, checking out my damaged shoe and keeping my eye on Brenda. I noticed two other boys asking her for a dance and being turned away. After each boy left, Brenda and her mother were in pointed discussions. As soon as I brought the girl who ruined my shine back to her table, I made straight for Brenda once again. As soon as I got to her table, she stood up and put her hand out in acceptance of the offer to dance that I was going to make. This time we spent almost half and hour out on the dance floor and only quit when the band took a short recess. When I brought her back to the table I asked her parent's permission to show Brenda the garden right off the ballroom. It took some coaxing on Brenda's part, but after only a minute or so, her parents gave their consent. Her father told me to have Brenda back within half an hour, and I quickly agreed to do so.

The Griswold gardens were justifiably famous, with several different pathways for people to take leisurely walks. I had become very familiar with all of the different strolling routes and had found several nice places that offered relative privacy and seclusion. As we walked along and talked together I pointed out various places and told her anecdotes about things that had happened along the way. I showed her the route I often took from the hotel to the golf course and mentioned how pretty it was away from all the lights of the hotel. She asked me if I took girls out for walks like that all the time. I told her that I'd done it a couple of times, but only with the girls I liked the best. I told her that one of the problems I had with coming over for the dances was that I'd meet someone I really liked, like her, and then before we could really get to know each other, she'd be gone. We had turned back from our stroll and were heading towards the ballroom when she asked me to show her the short cut I'd pointed out earlier. It wasn't really a shortcut, but it was a dark alley between the kitchen and the hotel storage building. After we'd walked down the alley a short time, she turned to me and we started kissing. It was innocent at first, but in a few seconds we were exchanging tongues and were pressed tightly together. I had gotten an erection earlier just from being close to a pretty girl, as much hormonal as due to any specific attraction, but there was no doubt that she could feel it as close as we were. She didn't react or make any comment, so I guessed that it didn't bother her that much. I had noticed that most girls just pretended not to notice, but the ones that took notice, generally took it favorably. We broke apart after a short time, and walked slowly back over to the ballroom. I stopped just before we got back to one of the main paths and turned away and readjusted myself quickly. Brenda giggled in a way that told me she knew exactly what I was doing.

"Jim, my ex boyfriend, was always having to do that too. It must be hard for you boys having to try to get comfortable all the time."

"Well I guess hard would be a good description all right." I wanted to test the waters a little, just to see how much faster or slower she wanted to go. With some girls, they paced themselves based mostly on what they thought you expected.

"I'd certainly say so." As soon as she said that she covered her mouth with her free hand and squeezed my hand with her other. Promising, I thought. There weren't that many fifteen year olds that displayed no evidence of dick fear.

"The problem is even more difficult if you're bigger than normal because there are fewer hiding places." I was just experienced enough to know that size was an asset not a liability.

"Well you aren't hiding yours very well, I could find it easily." She was looking right at the slight bulge in my cummerbund as she spoke. I suppose I could have mentioned to her that it was my grandfather's old railroad conductor's pocket watch that my mother had lent to me, but somehow that never even occurred to me. We continued walking and were back inside the ballroom just as the band was finishing up their first song after the intermission. We walked back over to her parent's table, and then I immediately asked her for the next dance. Her parent's saw that we were back and that their daughter was okay. We spent about fifteen minutes dancing before I told her that I had to mingle just a little bit to keep Mr. Hoskins happy. I told her I'd come back as soon as the dance was over and we'd dance some more. That is just what I did too. I went over and asked a really tall and thin girl for the next song and danced and made conversation with her before returning her to her table right after the song had ended.

We continued on like that for the rest of the evening, with me dancing with Brenda for three or four songs in a row, and then going back to the other girl and dancing with her for a single song. The girl I'd been having the one dance with became more animated each time I came back. Her name was Anne, and she was from Glenside, Pennsylvania she told me. Her family had just arrived at the Griswold, and it was their first stay at the hotel. In fact, she told me, they'd only just arrived that morning, and she was excited about how much fun it was going to be for her. I told her that the pool was really nice and suggested a few historic places she might like to visit, like Nathan Hale's schoolhouse in New London, or the Old Mystic sea port.

At about eleven thirty, the band announced their final song for the evening. I had taken a short break, in order to visit the bathroom, and was walking back onto the dance floor when the announcement was made. I headed straight over to Brenda's table, but her father was already leading her out for the final dance. She gave me an apologetic look, and I smiled at her to let her know that it was all right. I veered over and asked Anne for the final dance instead. As soon as the final song was over, I returned Anne to her table and thanked her for dancing with me that evening. I told her that I hoped that she and her family enjoyed their vacation and hoped they would return many times in the future. As I turned away from Anne's table I saw Brenda waiting near the main entrance to the ballroom. Her parents were not with her. I walked over to her and she told me that her parents had gone up to their rooms for the night and she had permission to stay down for awhile and enjoy the last of the evening. I asked her if she would like to take another stroll through the garden and she told me that she was hoping that I'd ask her. She told me that she'd have to be up in her room within the hour. I immediately started walking with her out on the path that led to the golf course. We walked for about five minutes until we got to a bench on the fifteenth tee of the golf course. I had walked girls out to there several times, and knew we would have plenty of privacy.

"Do you want to sit and talk for awhile?" I pointed out the bench which was difficult to see in the dark. She smiled and smoothed out her dress as she sat. I dropped down on the bench beside her. It wasn't long before we were back kissing again. The first time I tried to play with her breasts she broke our kiss and pulled my hand away.

"Jackie! Are you always so fresh with a girl?" Her words were delivered without conviction, and I could tell that she wasn't that upset with me.

"Brenda, I told you earlier that we don't have much time to get to know each other before you head back to Providence. If we had more time, I'd wait and we could get to know each other more slowly."

"That shouldn't matter, we've only just met tonight. A gentleman wouldn't behave like that."

"I'm not a gentleman then, because I'm having a difficult time keeping my hands to myself. Just dancing with you tonight has kept me excited like you wouldn't believe Brenda."

"Oh, I do believe you Jackie. And I've felt it too. The excitement, not your other, although I've felt it as well. I had a boyfriend for a long time Jackie, so I know how boys can get. That doesn't mean that I expect you to take liberties with me though."

"Do you want me to walk you back to the hotel? I'm sorry, Brenda, I thought you liked me too."

"Well I do like you silly, but I don't let every boy I meet get that familiar with me."

"But you have let some?"

"One, Jackie, not some. And not when we first met either. I like you, you must know that from me letting you kiss me like I have. I just don't want you thinking that I'm some cheap girl who lets boys have their way with her, because I'm not."

"I think you're a pretty girl, Brenda, and I know you aren't a cheap girl. I don't think I've done anything that would make you believe I thought that either. If you don't want to have me touch you, then I won't. It won't be easy though, because you do excite me." I stood up and readjusted myself right in front of her and then sat back down again. Brenda giggled as I put my hand into my trousers, but didn't turn her head away.

"Jackie, why don't we kiss for awhile, and then you can walk me back. It's been such a nice evening and I don't want to end it with us arguing." I reached for her and we went back to kissing again. She broke the kiss finally and we just sat there with me holding her with both my arms around her. "You remind me a little of Jim, the boy I told you about earlier? He's the only boy I ever let get familiar, and that turned out to be a mistake. It hurt me when we broke up two months ago, and I guess I'm not really over him yet."

"I've heard that the best way to get over one relationship is to start another. What is there about me that reminds you of him?"

"He's tall, like you, and he's cute like you are, and he always used to be in an excited condition just like you. In a way, those things made it easy for me to kiss you because you reminded me of the things that I liked about Jim. He always used to tell me that he couldn't keep his hands to himself too. I think I'd like to walk back now Jackie if that's all right with you?" I released her and stood up and helped her to her feet. We walked back through the trees, keeping to the path, and walked around to the front of the Hotel. I thanked her for an enjoyable evening and told her that I hoped to see her again. I opened the door for her and watched her walk through it. As I walked back towards my house, I thought that was the end of my experience with Brenda, but I was very mistaken.

I was sitting in the caddy shack at about noon, waiting to see if I'd get a loop for the afternoon. I'd already made $5.00 in the morning, and had been disappointed to find out that my regular Sunday afternoon loop had canceled their tee time. The new caddy master stuck his head in and called my name. I went out to see what he wanted and he told me to run over to the hotel and ask for Mr. Hoskins. I cut through the back nine and got to the hotel in less than ten minutes. I was passing by the kitchen when I saw my cousin, Dale, talking with his grandmother. I told him I was supposed to see Mr. Hoskins and he told me to wait a minute and he'd take me over to his office. Mr. Hoskins had an office just off the bell desk near the lobby entrance. It was a small room, probably no more than ten by ten feet. There was a phone, desk, two chairs and two filing cabinets. Mr. Hoskins was sitting in the chair that was behind his desk.

"Jackie, come in and have a seat. I've been hearing good things about you from Mr. Sloan and his wife. They were impressed with you last evening and appreciated your taking such good care of their daughter. They wanted to know if you'd act as their tour guide today. They've offered to pay you $20.00 for the afternoon if you're interested. Of course you'd have to change into more suitable clothes and be back here before two this afternoon."

"Where would I take them Mr. Hoskins? I've only been to Mystic and Old Saybrook myself and that was on a school field trip. I didn't even pay attention on how to get there."

Mr. Hoskins took out the Hotel's copy of a printed tour guide that had pictures, maps and directions to lots of places I'd never been to. He handed it to me and told me to bring it back after I was done for the day. Since it was almost one o'clock when we finished talking, he had Dale drive me home and bring me back after I got cleaned up and changed. I just managed to get back to the hotel a little before two o'clock, and Mr. Hoskins called up to the Sloan's rooms to tell them their tour guide had arrived. We went to see the Avery Point lighthouse, and then I took them over to Electric Boat and showed them a submarine that two of my uncles were helping to build. Almost half of my mother's family worked at Electric Boat, and I could get limited access visitor's passes whenever I wanted. I took them over to New London and showed them some of the houses that dated back to colonial times. Brenda was sitting in the back of her father's black Packard with me, and her mother and father sat up in the front. At about six we all went to The Lobster House and ate our fill. I had the shrimp scampi, but the rest ordered the lobster dinners. Mr. Sloan ate a five pound lobster by himself. I told him that I had an uncle who once brought home a sixteen pound lobster when I was about ten. My aunt made a lobster stew out of it because it was an old lobster and it's meat was tough.

We got back to the hotel around seven and Mr. and Mrs. Sloan thanked me for showing them the area. Brenda and I hadn't had much of a chance to talk since we'd been with her mom and dad the whole time we were together. I asked her father if it would be all right if I took Brenda over to the golf course and showed her around for awhile. Her parents said that would be fine but not to keep her out too late because they were checking out in the morning first thing. I thanked them both and Brenda and I started walking over to the course. It was still light outside, but I knew plenty of private places on the golf course. Brenda was wearing a full skirt and a pretty blue blouse with white anchor designs on the collar and sleeves. I think it was some kind of yachting shirt or something. We were holding hands as soon as we got out of sight of the hotel. I waited to kiss her until we were in a wooded area between the fourteenth and fifteenth fairways. We found three golf balls while we were fooling around in the woods. Brenda kept the best one as a souvenir of her vacation. I showed her the clubhouse and bought her a soft drink at the snack bar. We walked over to the lake and I showed her the direction I walked to get to my house. By the time we'd looked at all the interesting things at the golf course, it was starting to get dark and I headed us back towards the hotel. We stopped off at the fifteenth tee again and sat down on the bench. I straddled the bench with both my legs and put my arms around her so that we could kiss easier. After a couple minutes like that, Brenda straddled the bench facing away from me and I resumed kissing her behind her ears and all over the sides and back of her neck. I had both hands on her stomach, but I was careful not to try to feel her up. She tilted her head back and around so that we could kiss with our lips and tongues together. Our kissing became more passionate and I could hear both of us breathing more rapidly.