Chapter 2: Don's Little Hobby

"Cathy, relax!" Tad said that night while we were having dinner. I'd just told him about Louise's mysterious statements at lunch that day, about how there was something about her husband, Don that I needed to know.

"Well, if she wants to tell me that Don is some kind of two-headed monster, why doesn't she just come out with it? Why the 24-hour cooling-off period?"

"She said she loved the guy," Tad said. "It couldn't be too bad, right?"

"The way she said it, it was like, 'I love him so much I don't care that he's a... a bank-robber!' Or maybe she's going to tell me he's a member of the Ku Klux Klan, or something!"

Tad was his usual calm and collected self. "I suggest you just forget all about it until lunch time tomorrow, and see what she says."

"Let's play 'Worst Possible News!'" I said. "Louise is going to tell me tomorrow that Don's got leprosy!"

"Naw, it's not a disease," Tad said, warming to the game. "She'll tell you he weighs 450 pounds and likes to sit around the house without wearing a shirt!"

"He's a child-molester!" I suggested.

"Louise is his third wife -- and he never got around to divorcing the other two!"

"No, he's about to leave her -- for a guy!" I screamed.

"All right, all right, that's enough," Tad said. "Whatever Louise tells you tomorrow, it won't be as bad as any of those. Now let's relax and see what's on TV."

Thursday at lunch, Louise had apparently had time to prepare her little spiel. "Please don't -- ahh -- be too judgmental about this," she said as a preamble. "It's not as bad as it might sound to you, at first."

"Spill it, Louise, the suspense is killing me."

"OK. Listen. Don. Don has a... a porn collection."

"You mean, like, dirty books?"

"Yeah, but I'm not talking Playboy, here Cathy. Don's got some really raunchy magazines."

"Hell, is that all? I mean, my brothers were like that. Even Tad has a couple of nudist magazines tucked away. That's just the way guys are."

"Well, I'm glad you're not shocked by it. But you gotta understand -- Don's collection is pretty... extensive."

"OK."

"And it's not just magazines. He's got... y'know, things."

"Things?"

"Yeah. Y'know?... objects."

"You mean like -- dildos?"

"Jeez, Cathy. I wouldn't have guessed you would even know what a dildo was!"

"Well, I do know... Is that the kind of things you mean?"

"Yeah. Dildos and -- other stuff. And Don's a photographer. He's good. He could be a professional. He's got good cameras, and lots of lights and equipment. He really likes to take pictures."

"Oh! I get it! He's got naked pictures of you, right?"

"Yes, he does. He's really very good at it -- photography. And he develops them in his own darkroom, so nobody has to know about it, except me."

"So. How do you feel about... it?" I asked her.