Chapter 15: Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...

I wish I could have been invisible, sitting in the Parker's Buick, when Tad and Louise went off on their Saturday Night Adventure.

Well -- I wouldn't have wanted to miss being where I was -- which was getting royally fucked by Louise's loving husband, Don. Me and Don had gotten it on, and let me tell you, it was everything I had hoped it would be.

But I had to settle for Louise's after-the-fact account, back at work on Monday, of her part of that evening's festivities. But that wasn't so bad: Louise can tell a good story.

"I think I scared Tad half to death, speeding through the streets looking for a drug store, Louise said. "I knew exactly where to go, of course, but I wanted to give you and Don all the time you could possibly need, and, anyway, I was having fun with ol' Tad.

"I took him past two all-closed-up stores before finally heading for the all-night Walgreen's that I knew would be open for business. I ran inside like a fool, gathered up an armload of 35 mm film, and scribbled out a check to pay for it -- all the time pretending to be in a complete panic. And Tad's right there alongside me, furnishing moral support and giving me an audience for my craziness.

"When we got back to the car, I took a deep breath, pretended to be worn out by the chase, and asked Tad if he would drive. He said he would, and I just sunk into the passenger seat like I was exhausted."

"So he started driving out of the drug store's parking lot, but he didn't know which way to go to get back to the house, so he asked me. But I pretended that I'd fallen asleep in the car!"

"You didn't!"

"Yup, I did."

"But -- after all that scurrying around -- he wouldn't buy that, would he?"

"Well, he did! I mean, why wouldn't he? Anyway, he bought it. He shook me by the shoulder a couple of times and then just kinda gave up and started driving -- I guess he was hoping he'd recognize a landmark along the way."

"How long did this go on?"

"Not long. I let myself slump over on his shoulder, there, and started kinda snoring."

"What did he do?"

"He stopped the car. I guess he realized he wasn't going to find the way back to the house. He made a couple more timid little efforts to shake me awake."

"But you were passed out cold, right?"

"Dead to the world!... But then I slumped all the way over until my head was in his lap."

"You're shameless!"

"Thank you! While I'm being shameless, who was it that was impaling herself on my Don's erect organ?"

"OK, OK, you're no more shameless than the next girl. C'mon, finish the story!"

"So we're sitting in the car, just stopped out on some residential street, but I guess fairly close to the curb. I'm 'passed out' in Tad's lap and he doesn't know how to get home. I start making little snorting noises and smacking my lips and moving my head around, there in his lap, and pretty soon I'm kinda face-to-fly with his little Soldier, there. It's minding its own business -- at first -- but I keep on nuzzling in my sleep and he starts to grow."

"I don't care what I was doing with your husband at that moment. I repeat -- you're shameless!"

"You're right, but you haven't heard nothin' yet. About this time, when I figure Tad's pretty much reached his full growth, I 'wake up, ' open my eyes wide, and 'discover' that I've got my nose in his crotch. I pretend to be all indignant about it, and accuse poor Tad of trying to take advantage of me, after I'd passed out."

"Shameless!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, you can imagine. He's panicked, and he's blabbering on about how it wasn't true, how I'd passed out, and so on, and I'm still fighting mad, and threatening to tell you and Don what he had tried to do.

"Well, the poor soul is certain that I'm about to break up his happy home and that Don will tear him a new one when we get back. He completely gives up on convincing me of his innocence. Hell, but that time, he probably believed it himself!"

"My poor Tad!"

"Anyway, I give him directions back to the house, and I'm all cold and harsh when I'm speaking to him, and now I sit up there in the passenger seat, stiff as a nun, saying nothing for the whole trip back, except 'turn here, ' and 'take the next right.'

"But when we get back into the garage and the door is closing, I suddenly get all soft and feminine and turn to Tad and say -- real sweetly -- 'It's all right, Sweetheart, I realize now that you were just... over-stimulated from all the sexy stuff going on here tonight.

"Well, I think he was incredibly relieved that I'd apparently lost my hot anger, and maybe wasn't going to turn him in to the FBI, or something. He said something like how it really had been a terrific turn-on, watching you writhing around on the bed, and then eating you out, and then when I joined you in the bed, and sucked his cock... "

"He mentioned that you'd sucked his cock?"

"Sure."

"In those words? I'd have thought he'd have said something like 'when you kissed me, down there, '"

Louise laughed. Well, I don't know exactly what phrase he used, but I don't think it was all that prim. Maybe you're not the only member of the family to be somewhat -- reshaped by recent events!"

"Maybe you're right. What happened then?"

"Well, when he mentioned my previous lip-lock session on his crank, I said something like how nice it had been, and how I wished I could have finished the job, when I'd had the chance."

"And -- don't tell me -- you finished the job, right?"

"I pulled down the zipper on those chinos of his and fished that all-day sucker right out into the cool evening air."

"Didn't you even move to the back seat?"

"Not right then, no. I resumed our previous cruelly interrupted oral play, and I must tell you, it's kinda fun to suck a cock again that you can bury in your mouth, all the way down to the curlies!"

"I'm going to get some formal instruction from you about that, later. But for now, finish the story, I'm dying, here!"

"Well, Tad's sounding the warning bells, there, letting me know, like the gentleman he is, that he's about to let fly with a load. It didn't bother me. I knew he was -- what? Twenty years old? I knew I could drain him, and he'd be back in a few minutes, better than ever."

"And so you did."

"And so I did. I swallowed every drop, and you know what? It tasted just like cum. Not exactly whipped cream, but not bad at all!"

"And then?"

"Well, I must say I was a little disappointed in your boy at that point. I'd just given him a world-class blowjob and what does he do? He says, 'Hadn't we better take the film in to Don?'"

"Men!" I said. "He gets off, and stops worrying about you entirely!"

"Well, I guess that's probably a little bit unfair. After all, we'd all convinced him that the Film Retrieval Project was of critical importance. Now here we were, film secured, but still sitting in the garage playing Hide the Salami."

"So. How did you get Tad -- refocused?" I asked Louise.

"Easy. I just said, 'Wait here!' and I took the film, dashed into the house, threw the bag of film into the linen closet in the hall, and dashed back out again."

"Did you -- see Don and me -- in the bedroom?"

"Didn't see you, didn't hear you -- zilch. My best guess is, you two had already done the deed and were on your second cigarette by that time. I put my heart and soul into this diversionary action, girl, and you didn't even go for seconds!"

"Well, the firsts were memorable," I said. "I've already told you all about it, and I'm sure Don has, too. It's my turn, now. Tell me about Tad."

"How much has Tad told you?" Louise asked.