Chapter 1

Day 0 Thursday, October 21

"Help!" I wanted to scream it out, but I knew no one would help me. I wanted to run, but there was nowhere to run to. I wanted to shrink up in my seat and just disappear, yeah right. I wanted to be anywhere in the world except where I was now... but I was here. I wanted the sky to fall on this asshole who was tormenting me, but the sky remained where it always had been.

Raymond Shepard was the guy who had just slapped me around the back of the head and had called me a tub of lard. He was an eighteen year old senior at Creston High. He'd be nineteen before he graduated... if he did.

He wasn't a small guy either. He was around six foot two and weighed around 210 pounds. All of it was muscle. Hell, I weighed almost as much as he did and I was only five foot eight. I was just sixteen years old and hadn't developed physically as yet.

Being the class nerd didn't help me either. Raymond and a few of his cronies had made my life miserable for the last two years. I knew he was going to kill me for what I was about to do, but I also knew that if I didn't do something, I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

I didn't answer him. I just turned around in my seat on the school bus and hit him in his smirking face. All of the anger I had stored up over the last two years was behind the blow. His nose started spouting blood and I could see I had split his lip as well. Even if I died for it, I was glad I'd hit him.

Before Raymond could respond, the school bus driver had pulled off the road and was coming back the aisle. He dragged me forward and made me sit in the front seat the rest of the way home. I tried to explain to him what had happened, but he wasn't listening. He informed me he'd be reporting me to the principal at school in the morning. Oh well, mom had always told me I was responsible for my own actions. I guess I'd find out now just what that meant.

Day 1 Friday, October 22

I'm Ed, Ed Miller, by the way. As I said before, I was the class nerd and a junior at Creston. This morning I was afraid to go to school. Even more afraid than I was about facing my father's wrath when he found out what I had done yesterday. I knew that Raymond Shepard was going to kill me before the day was over. I knew that Mr. Adkins, the school principal, was going to have a piece of my butt.

I also knew I didn't have a choice. I had to go. I just hoped my bowels didn't let loose when Shepard came after me. The school bus stopped in front of our house as usual and I got on. The driver made me sit in the front seat again, but I didn't mind since this would put off any confrontation with Shepard for a while.

At the next stop my sister, Patty, got on with her best friend, Karen. Patty is one year younger them I am and she didn't usually sit with me, but this morning she did. "Ed, I didn't get a chance to talk with you last night, since I was over at Karen's. What happened with you and Raymond Shepard?"

"I guess I lost my mind, Sis. He slapped me around the back of the head and called me a name. I decided I wasn't going to let him push me around any more so I hit him. The bus driver didn't see him slap me, but he sure did see me hit Shepard."

"Oh, shit. Shepard is going to kill you."

"Yeah, I figure he'll get me at lunch. I don't see any way to get around it though. I can't hide from him forever. I guess I'll just have to take a beating. I'm not going to let him bully me any more, even if I have to take a beating every time."

Patty reached over and squeezed my hand. "I'm proud of you, Ed," she said.

We were about half way through second period when the PA system announced that I was wanted in the office. I knew I was in for it, big time, but I gathered up my books and made my way to the office. Mr. Adkins called me in immediately.

"So, Mr. Miller, I hear you hit another student on the bus yesterday. Let's hear your side of it."

I told him what had happened as he sat there frowning. When I finished, he just shook his head. "I had Mr. Shepard in earlier and his story isn't like yours at all. He says you hit him for no reason. Bob Salyers backs up Mr. Shepard's story."

"Mr. Adkins, I told you just the way it happened, including my hitting Shepherd. You wouldn't expect him to admit being in the wrong, would you?"

Adkins ignored my question, but said, "Fortunately for you, Karen Wellston came in and told me a story that was almost the same as yours."

I didn't say anything. Since Karen was my sister's best friend. I didn't know if she'd actually seen what had happened, or if she was just saying what she did because of her friendship with Patty.

"Normally, I'd expel you for starting a fight, but since Karen volunteered her story, I'm going to give you a week's after school detention. Mr. Shepard will be in detention as well. I'd advise the two of you to cool off. If I hear of you fighting again, you will be expelled, no matter who started it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," I said.

"Okay, get back to class and keep out of trouble, Mr. Miller."

I got out of there as fast as I could. Second period was almost over so I went to where my third period class would be held and waited for the bell.

Raymond Shepard was waiting for me when I came through the lunch line. "Meet me behind the gym after you've had your last meal," was all he said. I was almost shaking as I found an empty table and sat down.

I was just sitting there staring at my food when Patty and Karen came and sat down with me. "What did Shepard want?" Patty asked.

"He wants me to meet him behind the gym after I've eaten," I said, trying to control the quaver in my voice.

"Are you going to do it?" Karen asked.

"I have to, Karen. If I hide from him he'll just catch me some other time and beat me up. I'd just as soon get it over with."

"You could talk to Mr. Adkins," Karen said.

"Yeah, but then he'd just wait until he caught me away from school and he'd probably hurt me even worse."

Karen reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "You're a very brave man, Ed," she said.

If I hadn't been so scared I'd have been flying high. That's the first time anyone had ever called me brave and it was the first time anyone had called me a man.

It was especially nice that it was Karen who had called me a brave man. Karen is so cute it almost hurts my eyes to look at her. She has honey blond hair and the deepest blue eyes I have ever seen. The fact that she was Patty's best friend was almost a torture for me. If you can't tell from what I'm saying, I had a tremendous crush on her. The only problem was, she was beautiful and I was a nerd. I had never even considered asking her out as I knew she was way out of my league.

I walked around behind the gym after I had finished eating and saw Shepard along with two of his buddies. I was shaking so badly inside I was afraid I couldn't even speak. "So, it's going to take three of you," I said, hoping to shame him into making it a one on one.

"No, it's only going to take me, jerk off," Shepard said then he looked over at his buddies and they all laughed. "I'm going to beat the crap out of you, Miller."

I sucker punched him. I hit him in the pit of his stomach with all of my strength. Shepard doubled over and his two buddies grabbed me and held my arms. Okay, so this wasn't fair, but I had expected it.

Shepard coughed and sputtered for a while, then he came toward me, a look of pure hatred in his eye. When he was about three feet from me I kicked his left shin as hard as I could. I was aiming for his kneecap, but hit just a little low. I knew I was in big trouble when he didn't go down.

He growled like an attack dog, then hit me in the stomach. I'll swear it felt like I'd been hit by a car. It was all I could do to keep from throwing up all over all of us. Maybe I'd have been better off if I had.

He hit me again then said, "Listen up, pussy. You're going to get a beating for every day I'm in detention. Then, you're going to get another beating for every time you hit or kick me."

He started hitting me heavily now. His fists felt like they were tearing me apart. I couldn't see and I thought I might be passing out when I heard him let out a sound of pure agony. Then the guy who was holding my right arm did the same. The guy who was holding my left arm dropped it and I could hear him running away.

I fell to my knees and fought to see what was going on. Then I heard Patty's voice. "Okay, mother fucker. That was just a taste. If you touch my brother again, the three of us will kill you and dump your body in the gravel pit. If you threaten him or look cross eyed at him, we'll put you in the hospital. If you go to Mr. Adkins, we'll break your fucking kneecaps." Then I heard a thud and another moan from Shepard.

I felt hands, feminine hands, helping me get up. Patty and Karen pulled my arms over their shoulders and helped me to a bench around in front of the gym. They sat me down and then took a seat on either side of me. "Are you okay, Ed," Karen asked.

"I think so. God, I hurt. What did you guys do?"

""We borrowed a couple of baseball bats. I hit Shepard across the back and Karen hit his buddy, Bob Salyers. I hope we didn't break their backs, but I hope they have to go to the hospital."

"I'm not a very good ball player," Karen said. "I hit mine lower than I wanted to."

The pain was starting to ease down a little. I didn't think I could get up yet, but I did struggle to a more upright position with only a brief bout of nausea. "Thank you, both of you," I said. "I don't think he'd have killed me, but he could have done me some serious damage. I can understand you helping me out, Patty, but why did you help, Karen?"

Karen just blushed and shook her head. I looked over at Patty and she winked at me then shook her head as well. I had no idea what was going on, but I decided to keep my mouth shut and talk to Patty later.

By the time I was due in my next class, I was feeling well enough to walk. The girls sat with me the entire time and walked me to my classroom. Somehow I made it through the rest of the day. Since it was Friday, Mr. Adkins had said I would start my detention on Monday. I didn't see either Shepard or Salyers the rest of the day.

When I got on the school bus, Karen sat beside me and Patty sat behind us. Patty leaned over the seat and asked, "Did you hear about Shepard and Salyers?"

"No."

"An ambulance came and took them off to the hospital. Jenny Walker said they'd told Mr. Adkins that they had been goofing around trying to walk along the railing behind the gym and that both of them had fallen."

"Do you know how badly they were hurt?" I asked.

"No, but we'll probably find out by Monday. Are you going to tell mom and dad about the detention?" Patty asked.

"I guess I'll have to. I won't have any way home from school unless I take our car."

Patty and I had bought a car together right after I'd turned sixteen. Patty had been babysitting since she was twelve, and I'd been working on our neighbors' farms. We'd managed to save up enough money to buy a five year old car. It wasn't a clunker and it wasn't a high performance sports car. It was just good, solid transportation.

"I think it's time they let us start driving to school anyway," Patty said. "We paid for the damned car, we pay for the insurance, and we'll pay for the gasoline. It should be our decision if we want to drive it."

"Mom would be okay with it," I said. "It's dad we'd have to worry about."

"We always have to worry about the bastard," Patty said and Karen giggled.

Our father wasn't a very nice person. He never hit mom or Patty, but if I did something he didn't like, I'd find myself lying on the ground. He didn't use a switch or a belt or a paddle. He used his fist. Dad was a construction worker and his temper and his penchant for fighting assured he didn't hold a job for long.

We had a good sized farm and mom, Patty and I did most of the work to keep it up. Dad always seemed to have something else he needed to do, so most of it was never used. "Patty, I may get killed for my efforts, but I'm not going to let dad hit me again either. At least I'm going to try not to."

"Ed, don't do anything to get hurt," Karen said, looking scared.

"I'll try not to, Karen, but I'm tired of him hitting me and yelling at Patty," I said.

Karen reached over and took my hand in hers. I expected a squeeze and release, but she held on to it. Damn that was nice.

Dad wasn't home when we got there, so Patty and I went in and told mom about what had happened the day before. We didn't mention Patty and Karen taking baseball bats to the two guys today. Mom looked at me sympathetically. "You know your dad is going to blow up about this, don't you?"

"Yeah, Mom, I do. I'll just have to live with it. I do think it's time Patty and I start driving to school though. Would you have a problem with it if I can get it by dad?"

Mom sighed then said, "No, I don't have a problem with it, other than the fact that my babies are growing up. I doubt you'll get your dad to agree though. Why don't you get your chores done before he gets home? It might put him in a better mood when you tell him about the detention."

Patty and I changed clothes and she gathered the eggs while I got feed and water for the chickens. Then we moved into the barn. I went up into the loft and started forking down hay for the cattle. Normally Patty would get the grain for the cattle into the bins while I did this, but today she followed me into the loft.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Ed?" she asked.

"Sure, Sis. What's up?"

"You asked Karen earlier why she helped get those guys off of you. For being so smart in some ways, you certainly are clueless in others," she giggled.

"Like right now, I don't have a clue as to what you mean, little Sis. Would you care to enlighten me?"

"Karen likes you, you big dummy. She's had a crush on you for years."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, duffus. It was her idea to help you."

"Well, I'll be damned. Patty, I think Karen is as cute as hell. I've had a crush on her too, big time, I just haven't done anything about it. She's your best friend and I didn't want to screw that up. Plus, I never thought I'd ever stand a chance with her."

"Oh, you'd stand a chance with her. If she ever knew I told you this, I wouldn't be her best friend any more, but if you asked her to go steady tomorrow, she'd agree in a second."

"Wow," was all I could say.

Patty put her arms around me and hugged me. I returned the hug and kissed her on the forehead. "You know I love you, don't you, Sis?"

"I love you too, Ed."

"Thank you for stepping in today. I don't know, but I think Shepard had totally lost it. I might have been seriously hurt if the two of you hadn't shown up."

"It was nothing. So, are you going to ask Karen out, or did I spill my guts to you in vain?"

"I think I probably will. I've always..."

Just then we heard dad yell from down below us. I put my finger to my lips to signal Patty to keep quiet then said, "Yes, Dad?"

"Get down here right now, Ed. We need to talk," he yelled.

I could feel my stomach start to tighten up again. I knew that his talk was going to include his fists. I didn't hesitate though. I knew that any hesitation on my part would just mean more fisticuffs.

Dad was standing in the entry way of the barn when I got down there. I could tell he was angry before he even said a word. I walked until I was about six feet from him, then stopped.

"I hear you have detention next week and have to drive to school," he said, his eyes flashing.

"That's right, Sir," I said, then I went on to tell him about the fight with Shepard. Again I left out any mention about Patty or Karen.

"You must think you're pretty damned tough, getting into fights."

"No, Sir. I've decided I'm not going to let some bully push me around any more though."

"You'd better not get into any more fights, Sonny. Next time I'm going to make you walk home from school. Do you hear me?"