First time?

Does it show? I mean this is... oh-mi-god-I-can't-believe-I'm-a-Top-Sheet-at-the-Ritz! Sorry, I'm just a little...

Alright. Calm down calm down. I've done this dozens of times; this is my ninety-third bed; fifty-four as a Bottom.

You've done inety three! Is it true what they say? That most of the time you just lie around waiting. I hope not, I want romance, I want passion, I want...

Wait'll you get your first fart.

Yewww.

Look Top, I've been peed-on, pooped-on, and thrown up on. I've had sweaty, unwashed bodies rubbing on me all night. Sometimes you can't wait to be stuffed in a laundry bag and dropped down the chute. Anything, just to be clean and folded again.

Is it really that bad? Don't you get wrapped around lovers sometimes? Don't you just bask in the glow of two lovers?

Surrounding them, soaking in their passion?

You want to soak in their passion? Fine. Listen to this one. It was my thirty-fourth bed, I was Top, working with a veteran Bottom. Guy comes into the room, just another lonely businessman on the road, except that he seemed really nervous - figity. He calls his wife, talks to her, hangs-up and leaves the room. Comes back about a couple of hours later - he's not alone. Gotta pro with him.

A pro what?

A hooker; he's paying for sex. Something you'll find is not that uncommon. What is uncommon is what they start doing. She bosses him around, yells at him, hits him with a rolled up newspaper. She makes him do all kinds of weird stuff. That's when the Bottom started to get a little worried. When I asked why, Bottom mentions her high-heel shoes. Now I'm get worried. The without any warning I'm pulled off the bed and dropped on the floor. The next two hours were a nightmare of ripping and tearing sounds. That Bottom was never seen or heard about again.

No! That's horrible. Not even a final laundering?

Nope. Straight to the dumpster. Whoa there Top, hold on, you're looking a little bleached. Now, that is about as bad as it gets. usually it's justa job, but sometimes...

Oh come on. Don't short me now.

Okay. It was my thirty-third bed and I was a Top. It was the Honeymoon suite.

No way! The Honeymoon suite? I thought you had to have a higher thread count to go up there.

Hey, my thread count is just fine. Do you want to hear the story or not? I'm just as happy to lie here and...

No! I'm sorry. Please...

Okay, I'm Top. The Bottom had done the Honeymoon suite once before, only that time they were too tired and drunk. Nothing really happened.

Ohhhh.

Anyway, the door opens and the Groom is carrying the Bride. He places her on the bed and we could both feel the love and the anxiety - she was a virgin.

Like me?

Yup. The groom takes off all his clothes until he's standing there with nothing but a smile and a hard-on. He pulls her to her feet and he sits on the bed. We're feeling nothing but confidence and anticipation. This guy knows his stuff. The bride slowly undresses until she's in her bra and panties. She tells the Groom that she needs to get changed. He says NO, there will be plenty of time for dress-up later. I want you naked - now. She complies and she is gorgeous. He pulls me back and lays her on Bottom, her skin was so soft and clean. He's kissing her everywhere, and she's moaning and whimpering. And she's leaking a little, - then he starts to kiss her between her legs - wooowheeeee. Talk about soaking in it.