I’ve written up one of my lectures, hoping it might count as a publication in my tenure package.

LECTURE BEGINS

“Today we’ll talk about Cupid and Venus, also known as Cupid and Psyche, or as or as they were known to ancient Greeks, Eros and Aphrodite, the god of erotic desire, and his mother, the goddess of love. Whatever the legend, Venus is Cupid’s mother. Sexual revolution before the 60s, we can call it.”

It’s good to begin a lecture with a bit of humor, my experience. Wakes them up. Art’s about looking, not explaining, but it’s my job to explain anyway.

“Our first example -- here we go, if I can find the right button -- is”

I click the clicker.

“Venus and Cupid,’ by Cranach the Elder, 1473-1553, a German and a contemporary of Michelangelo, and the first Northern European artist to paint Venus naked, almost naked, anyway, given the bit of gauze. Before then, only Eve stepped out in her birthday suit.”

A few guffaws from the students. In Art Appreciation 101, the first goal is to keep them awake.

“It’s in the National Gallery, London. Brits enjoy Where’s Waldo? Where are the hidden stag and doe? Don’t them apples look delicious?”

No response whatsoever. Oh, well.

“Cranach lived when women were seen as agents of the devil. Cupid’s arrow induces lust. He reaches into the honey pot and gets stung for his exploits.”

Hopeful pause for chuckles. You’d at least think the African-Americans would recognize the honey-pot analogy. False hope, as their culture’s been subverted.

“As a bee-sting lasts only a day or two, we know he’ll reach in again.”

A couple of laughs.

“Cranach kept turning out more-or-less this same product as long as he had patrons who didn’t mind copies.

“To the right, from Rome’s Galleria Borghese. Oops! Mom’s lost her gauze. Note how lovingly she reaches to stroke the tree’s opening, foretelling works by Georgia O’Keeffe.”

The co-eds look sideways at each other.

Click

FIGURE

“Next slide, Lorenzo Lotto, 1480-1556.” My students don’t know about slides, but it’s hard to say, “Next PowerPoint.”

“Cupid Peeing, its popular title.”

No reaction. Are they even listening?

“Venus is again wearing a bit of gauze so as not to appear brazen. The wreath and suspended brazier are accouterments of the marriage chamber. Lotto was a master at emblematic devices.”

I don’t point out that Cupid’s aim at his mother is through a wreath of bay leaves, what the Delphi priestesses burned as incense to intoxicate their worshipers. Above Venus’s head, a conch, a symbol of the female genitals from India that made its way to Italy. She’s losing her rose petals, smiling. If they want to think he’s peeing, fine. Lotto comes closer than most in showing Cupid’s penis as erect. There’s so much that I could say, but this is just a survey course.

Click

FIGURE

“Venus Blindfolding Cupid, attributed to Titan, 1488-1576. The standard interpretation of a blindfolded Cupid is, ‘Love is blind,’ but think about it, Mom. Your blindfolded boy won’t know into whose arms he’s fallen.”

Click

FIGURE

Jacopo Pontormo, (Jacopo Carucci), 1495-1557, from a lost drawing or cartoon by Michelangelo. Venus attempts to take an arrow from the quiver, but is she in time?

“What’s on the altar, a puppet, a quiver and arrows, flowers and masks, allude to the fleeting nature of the passions and the two-faced deception of love. A boy of course loves his mother, but does that mean...?

“But enough of the arrows and quiver for a moment. Notice the mask, our permission to anonymously witness the consummation, while at the same time, raising questions about our looking. Its impassivity warns that we, too, will soon possess a similar countenance when we experience love’s second consequence, death.

“This mask motif accompanying Venus and Cupid, invented by Michelangelo, was adapted, modified, and expanded by his successors.”

I’ve no idea if any of them catch the position of Cupid’s foot, but I’d think that those who’ve played footsie might.

Click

FIGURE

“Agnolo Bronzino, 1503-72. ‘Venus, Cupid, Folly and Time’ or ‘Allegory with Venus and Cupid,’ a biggie in the history of art.”

“Cupid’s teenage body is twisted to display his backside. His hand cups her, his fingers encircle her. His other hand cradles her head for the passionate kiss. His posture, his aggressive reach, and his mother’s grasp of the arrow from his quiver speak of things forbidden. She’s already picked the apple.

“Under Cupid’s foot -- the Monty Python foot that inspired Terry Gilliam -- we see a pair of doves, symbols of innocent love, being pushed aside.

“Venus’s tongue glistens through her parted lips as she steadies her boy’s arrow.

“Mother and son adopt a typical Mannerist pose, the ‘figura serpentinata.’ They spiral around the central axis of the painting, Venus’s spine. Her legs frame the bottom of the composition. More than what’s going on above, it’s her legs that speak of incest and pederasty.”

I’ll make them look up that last word. A few sideways glances between some of the co-eds who are English majors.

“So let’s look at some of the supporting characters.”

FIGURE

“Folly showers mother and boy with rose petals oblivious to the pain of love from the thorn that pierces his right foot. If you look closer, he steps on rose thorns, one of them piercing his foot. A brain so engrossed with excitement feels no pain.

“Time, an hour-glass on his back, extends his arm to pull the cloth from behind the lovers to reveal an array of suffering and monstrous figures. He does not seem directly concerned with what’s taking place below him.

“Deceit, with the expressionless head of a girl but the body of a beast, with one hand offers Venus a sweet honeycomb while hiding her hindquarters, a snake body with lion’s legs In her other hand she holds a string attached to her tail. With every pleasure comes pain.

“Jealousy, the dark screaming figure, symbolizes perhaps the effects of syphilis, which had reached epidemic proportions by the mid-16th century.

“Oblivion tries to draw a veil over the events. His vacant eyes, tragic expression and missing part of his head correspond with the two masks in the bottom right.”

They’re writing as fast as they can -- or maybe just recording on their phones that can do transcriptions -- as they expect that some of this may be on their exam.

Click

FIGURE

“Giovanni Paggi, 1554-1627. A mother-type kiss?” knowing that few of the co-eds are missing where she’s placed her left finger.