Chapter 6

Jen and I held hands as we walked to the local fast food restaurant. Kathy kept asking questions, but we ignored her. Suzie didn't say a word during the fifteen-minute walk. Jen bought sodas for all four of us and we sat in a booth in the back of the dinning room.

"Okay, I've waited long enough," Kathy said. "I want to know what the F is going on with you and Jen, Cindy."

"It's really simple, we're in love," I replied.

"When did you find out you were a lesbo?" Kathy said sharply. "I can't believe this."

"What can't you believe, Kathy?" Jen asked my oldest friend. "Cindy and I are in love and that's that."

Suzie smiled and looked across the table at me. "Do you guys-you know-do you kiss and stuff?"

Jen and I both nodded.

"God, that's sick!" Kathy said.

"Look, Kathy, no one is asking you to do it. What Cindy and I do is between us. Besides, I'd feel the same way if we didn't do anything-It isn't about sex," Jen replied.

I felt my eyes tear up when Jen said what she did. While the sex was very exciting and I loved it, knowing than Jen really cared for me was more important. I turned my head and wiped my eyes with my napkin.

"Do your parents know about you two?" Suzie asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Our moms were really cool about it. Even my brother thinks it's okay. In fact, Kirk said that he would make sure that no one messes with Jen and me."

"You two really shocked me, I mean after all the things Jen said she did with guys," Kathy said.

"Most guys only want to fool around, they don't really care about you as a person." Jen sighed and put her hand on my leg under the table. "At least the guys I've gone out with. I used to think I had to let them touch me and that I had to do things so they'd like me. Now I don't care about that. I found out that Cindy likes-um-loves me because of who I am, not what I do."

"I never said I didn't like you, Jen. It's just hard for me to think about what you guys do together," Kathy said.

"Jen, how do you know you don't like boys? I mean, you've never really gone out with one," Suzie said.

I shrugged my shoulders. Suzie was right, I had never gone out with a boy and didn't know if I would like it or not. I felt Jen squeeze my leg just above my knee. When I looked at her, Jen smiled.

"Look, Guys, we're still young," Jen said. "We have a lot of time to decide what we like and don't like. I still like guys and I'm sure Cindy will have a chance to discover if she does someday. For now, we're together and that's all that matters."

Jen's statement made me feel a bit weird. I sat quietly, trying to decide if she was trying to tell me she wanted to go out with boys too. Jen's fingers began to make small circles on my thigh and I stopped thinking about anything except her loving touch.

"Don't you like the feeling when you touch yourselves?" Jen asked, moving her glances between Suzie and Kathy.

Kathy nodded and Suzie grinned.

"Sure I do, but another girl?" Karen said.

Jen squared her shoulders, pressed her fingers into my thigh and giggled. "Who knows better what a girl wants than another girl? Most of the boys I've been with grope, they didn't touch me-not the way I like to be touched."

"Does Cindy know how?" Suzie asked.

Jen sighed. "You have no idea, Suzie. I'm not going to give you any details, not about what we do together, but I will say that it's never been better for me."

Suzie looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "How did you find out, Cindy? You didn't just decide you liked girls one day did you?"

Before I could say a word, Jen giggled and said, "No, I seduced her." Her statement was a start, even to me.

Kathy and Suzie both laughed. Kathy finally stopped giggling and said, "What, did you rape her?"

I jerked by body upright. "NO! Jen didn't force me to do anything!" I was getting mad and stopped trying to be secretive about how I felt. "Jen and I just started to fool around a little and one thing led to another. I don't know how it is with boys, I've never done anything with one, but I can tell you I'm happy that my first kiss was with Jen."

Jen's hand flattened against my inner thigh and moved up. She stopped before getting to where I wanted her to touch and moved her hand back to my knee. "Most of the guys I've kissed didn't know how. They were rough and sloppy." Jen looked into my eyes. "Not tender and loving."

Kathy nodded, dropped her gaze to the table and shifted in her seat. "I know what you mean about that, Jen. My boyfriend kisses me like he wants to swallow my head. I hate it when he just shoves his tongue into my mouth and grabs my tits-it hurts."

Jen looked at Suzie and before she could be asked, Suzie said, "I-I've never kissed a boy."

"Don't rush it, Suzie. Wait until your ready. Remember, it's your body and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Like I said, I used to think that the only way to get someone to like me was to do the things THEY wanted to do, but now I'm going to do what I want to do." Jen squeezed my knee. "My mom told me that I should never do anything I don't want to do."

I looked at Jen and furrowed my brow.

"After you and your parents left last night, Mom, Dad and I had a long talk, Cin. They told me they were happy for me and that they really like you and your parents. I never really talked to my mom about sex before. In the past, Mom would only tell me what I shouldn't be doing; she never asked how I felt.

"Last night, Mom asked about my feelings and stuff like that. Dad was really sweet too and told me I should follow my heart-not my hormones. Mom even asked if I wanted to stop taking birth control pills," Jen told us.

"You take the pill?" I said, realizing I didn't know everything about my new girlfriend.

"Yeah, Mom put me on the pill when all the shit happened at my old school. She said she wasn't ready to be a grandmother and I sure as hell wasn't ready to be a mom," Jen replied.

"Are you going to stop taking them?" I asked and Jen shook her head. "Why not?"

"Because they help regulate my period and I don't get bad cramps anymore," Jen said.

"Do they really do that?" Suzie asked. "My periods come when I least expect them. When I get close to my time of the month, I have to wear pads just in case."

"Mine come like clock work. The day after I take my last pill, I'm on the rag. Four days later it's over. I don't get cramps or feel all bloated, not like before," Jen said.

"Maybe I should ask Mom about them," I said. "I get real bad cramps when I have my period and I'm a bitch."

Kathy laughed. "Taking pills won't prevent that, Cindy."

I stuck my tongue out at her and we all giggled.

Jen looked at me, grinned and said, "Don't stick that out unless you intend to use it."

Kathy, Jen and Suzie laughed, but I just smiled.

"I do intend to use it, Sweetie." I twisted in my seat, took her face between my hands and pressed my lips to Jen's. When I stroked her lips with the tip of my tongue, she moaned and opened her mouth. We held the kiss for a few moments and then relaxed.

I leaned close to Jen and whispered, "I want to use my tongue somewhere else too."

When I glanced at Kathy and Suzie, I noticed they both had their mouths open and were staring Jen and me.

"You two really don't care who knows, do you," Suzie said meekly.

"No, I don't," I said firmly. "I don't give a shit who knows how I feel about Jen. If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else."

Jen's hand began to move on my leg again. I opened my knees slightly, allowing Jen access to my sex. She glanced around, slid her hand up until she touched the gusset of my panties and rubbed me briefly. I squirmed and then she removed her hand.

"You're not doing what I think you're doing, are you?" Kathy asked.

"I don't know what you think we're doing," I replied and then giggled.

"You two are so bad!" Kathy said. "Someone is going to see you."

I suddenly felt naughty and bold. Nonchalantly I moved my arm on the table and pushed Kathy's small purse off the edge and onto the floor. As I was apologizing, I glanced at Jen and grinned. I parted my legs and flexed my thigh against her hand. Jen giggled and moved her hand under my skirt as Kathy leaned over to pick up her purse.

Jen's fingers stroked my crotch and I wiggled against her hand. Kathy gasped loudly and hit the back of her head on the underside of the table. When she sat up, Kathy was blushing.

"What's wrong, Kathy?" Suzie asked.

Leaning close to Suzie, Kathy said, "Jen is touching Cindy--she's touching her pussy!"

Suzie looked at Jen and me. She shook her head and replied, "Bull!"

Jen and I grinned at Suzie. I felt my body heating up as Jen continued to stroke me and I jerked when she hooked her finger under the elastic of my panties. Suzie stared for a moment, looked around and then glanced under the table.

Suzie shot up and stared at me. She looked at Jen and then her face turned red. Jen and I giggled as Suzie continued to blush.

I felt Jen's finger part the lips of my labia and stroke me. When she removed her hand, I closed my legs and flexed my thighs, trying to maintain the feeling Jen had started in my sex.

Jen put her elbows on the table and allowed Kathy and Suzie to see one of her fingers was wet with my juices. When Jen popped it into her mouth and sucked her finger, even I was taken back. Jen let her finger linger between her lips before slowly removing it. Kathy and Suzie seemed to be in shock, but my pussy quivered.

"You are so sick!" Kathy said.

"Like you've never fingered yourself and tasted your pussy," Jen said.

"That's different," Kathy said in a whisper.

"Yeah, Cindy tastes so much better than I do," Jen said.

Suzie's face was bright red and she was trying to hide behind her hands. When I reached across the table and touched her arm, she recoiled and stared into my eyes. Her look wasn't one of disgust; she looked like she was turned on. I wouldn't have recognized the look except I'd seen it before, in Jen's eyes.

"You've never done that, have you, Suzie. You have never tasted yourself after playing with your pussy," I said, not believing that I was saying what I was.

"I've-um-I've never touched myself, not there," Suzie said shyly. "I was always told it wasn't healthy and it was very wrong. My mom said if I menstruated, I'd go to..."

"That's a bunch of shit," Kathy said frankly. "If playing with my pussy was going to send me to hell, I've of been gone a long time ago. Getting off is as normal as eating, at least as far as I'm concerned!"

Jen and I both agreed with Kathy and the three of us spent the next few minutes telling Suzie the joys of masturbation. She blushed and shook her head as she listened, but she listened intently nonetheless.

Kathy told how she liked to lay on her belly and hump her fingers. Jen said she liked to feel something inside her and I told Suzie how I liked to rub all around the outside of my sex. When Suzie asked what Jen used, Jen said, "Almost anything, but I have a really nice dildo."

Jen went on and told us about using a hairbrush handle as well as carrots, candles and other things in addition to the fake penis we had shared. Even Kathy seemed interested as Jen described in detail how she liked to push things into her vagina. When Jen said she even put things in her butt, we all fell silent.

"What?" Jen said.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Kathy asked.

"Not really, a little at first, but once you learn to relax, it's great," Jen replied, once again confirming that my knowledge of her past and maybe the present was limited.

"I have to get going," I said. "I have to go to gymnastics this evening."

"Really? I was hoping you could come over tonight," Jen said, causing me to think about skipping my class.

I put my hand on Jen's, shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, Honey, but I have to go. I've been taking gymnastics since I was about ten and really like it. We have a meet in a few weeks and I have to work on my routine."

Jen looked saddened by the fact we weren't going to be together tonight. I rubbed the back of her hand and then smiled.

"You could come watch me if you want to, Jen," I said.

Jen's face lit up and she nodded. "What time?"

"I'll have Mom pick you up on the way, about seven, okay?" I told Jen.

"I'll be ready," Jen said.

We all left the restaurant and lingered outside for a moment. Jen and Kathy lived close and agreed to walk together. Suzie lived in my neighborhood. After giving Jen a kiss, I told her goodbye and we headed our separate ways. Suzie and I walked in silence as we moved toward our houses.

"Cindy, how did you learn to touch yourself?" Suzie asked timidly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I just started doing it and went from there."

"Does it really feel as good as you guys say it does?"

"Yeah, it's wonderful."

"What do you think about?"

"I don't know, just something sexy. I used to dream about how it would be to have a boy touching me, but now..."

"Do you think about Jen?"

"Yeah, I think about her all the time, Suzie. I know you probably don't understand, but I really love her."

"I understand, Cindy, I really do. I can tell by looking at you guys." Suzie took a deep breath. "I wish I was a brave as you and Jen are. You guys care so much about each other that you don't care who knows it. I'm all weird because I'm skinny and flat. Boys don't even look at me."

"So what, Suzie? Who cares what the boys at school think about you? Look, I've just recently learned that the most important thing is how you feel about yourself. If someone doesn't like it, fuck em."

Suzie giggled. "That would be nice-at least I think it would."

"What, do you want to have sex with a boy, Suzie?"

"Yeah, but not really. I just wish a boy wanted to have sex with me."

Without thinking, I put my arm around Suzie's waist and held her to my side. I felt her body react, tightening under my hand.

"Don't worry, you'll find a guy that likes you."

I released her and we walked along the sidewalk. When we reached Suzie's street, we said goodbye and I headed home. When I got close to the house, I saw a van in the driveway with a boat on top of it.

"Hi, Cindy, isn't this great?" Kirk said as I walked beside the van.

I looked at the van and then saw the collapsed camper behind it. Looking up, I saw the boat on top of our new van.

"The outboard is in the back of the van, Cin, want to see it?"

"Sure, Kirk, although I don't have any idea what I'll be looking at."

I couldn't remember the last time my brother had been so excited about something as he was about the boat and motor. He opened the back doors of the van and pointed to the black outboard motor. He began telling me all about it and how it worked.

After we looked at the motor for a few moments, Kirk closed the door and locked it. We went into the house and I greeted my parents. Mom asked how things went at school and if I was okay.

I took off my backpack, parked it on the floor and sat at the table. "Things went fine, Mom. It was like any other day at school. I kind of expected some the kids to say something, but no one seemed to notice Jen and me."

"Is that good or bad, Cindy?" Mom asked.

Shrugging my shoulders, I replied, "I don't know. I guess I wanted everyone to know how I feel about Jen."

"I know, but the most important thing is how you two feel about each other."

"You're right, Mom. By the way, would you mind picking Jen up on the way to the gym? She wants to watch me practice."

Mom smiled and nodded. I grabbed a snack and headed for my room. Once I was in my bedroom, I took off my school clothes and put on a pair of jeans and a top. I was straitening the top when I heard a knock on my door.

"Cindy, can I come in for a minute?" Kirk said from behind my door.

"Sure, come in."

Kirk came in and looked around my room. He hadn't been in my bedroom in a long time and seemed to be interested in the posters on the walls and other things. He stood quietly watching me pull my leotards out of my drawer and put them in my small duffle bag.

"Did you and Jen have any troubles today?"

"No, Kirk, no one bothered us at all. It looked like you and Martin have some things in common."

"Yeah, he's into a lot of the same things I am, Cin."

I turned around and looked at Kirk. "You do know Martin is gay, don't you?"

Kirk nodded. "Yeah, I knew he was, but Martin told me anyway."

"Are you okay with it?"

Kirk laughed nervously and nodded. "He's a real nice guy, Cin. I don't care if he's gay or not."

"Martin didn't hit on you, did he?"

Kirk laughed. "No, he didn't hit on me and he said I didn't have to worry about it. Cindy, I think he's happy to have a friend. He told me that the kids at school were very cruel and called him names." Kirk took a deep breath. "I sort of feel sorry for him."

I took a pair of cotton panties and a sport-bra out of my drawer and put them in my bag. I didn't think it would be a good idea to wear a thong under my leotard.

"Are you and Martin going to be friends, Kirk?"

"I don't know. I just met him. Martin wants to go to the library. He's really into philosophy and Ayn Rand."

"Are you going to go?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'm interested in those things too. Besides, he said he wanted to learn about fishing."

I giggled. "That would be nice, you need a friend, Kirk. You're still going to teach me to fish, aren't you?"

"Sure, anytime you want me to."

Mom called us for dinner and we left my room. My brother and I took our normal seats at the table and waited for mom to finish putting the food down. Dad came in, sat at the head of the table and began passing the dishes.

During dinner, Dad and Mom talked about the camper and the places they wanted to go. Kirk told them he was starting drivers training and would be late three day a week until the class was over. The chatter went on until I spoke up.

"Mom, can you take me to the doctor so I can get birth control pills?" I said.

The chatter stopped and when I looked up, Mom, Dad and Kirk were all staring at me. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks when it dawned on me just what I'd said.

"I-um, I was told they would help with my periods," I quickly said.

My dad exhaled so loud Mom chuckled. Mom smiled at me and nodded.

"I can make an appointment for you, Cindy." Mom laughed. "You kind of shocked me, Cindy."