Chapter 1

I can remember the year I stated kindergarten and had to go to school. I was scared to death and really didn't want to go. My brother Kirk was thirteen months older than me and in the first grade. Kirk teased my about being a baby when I threw a fit about going to school, but shut up when I reminded him how he acted when he had to go to school the first time.

Mom convinced me to go and I started school. After a few days, I met new friends and everything was okay. The weekdays were all the same. I went to school in the morning and Kirk went all day. In the afternoons, we played outside with our friends and then came in for dinner. After dinner and an hour of television, Mom took my brother and me to the bathroom and put us in the tub.

Kirk and I would play in the tub for a little while and then Mom would wash us. After our bath, we went to bed. My brother and I took baths together until I was seven and he was eight. One day after dinner, Mom told us that we had to take separate baths. When we asked why, she just told us we were getting too old to bathe together.

At first I didn't understand why my brother and I couldn't take our baths together. I know we both enjoyed the time we spent playing in the tub and having to bathe alone wasn't much fun. By the time I turned twelve, I relished the privacy and had stopped thinking about being in the tub with my brother.

I got my first period when I was twelve and Mom sat me down for the 'talk.' I listened to her as she explained about sex and pregnancy. Not once during the entire conversion did Mom say sex was wrong. She told me about masturbation and I promptly said it sounded disgusting. Mom grinned and laughed, telling me that someday I may find out I was wrong and then she said it was normal.

Mom told me I could come to her and ask her anything I wanted to know about anything, including sex. I felt uncomfortable at first, but by the time Mom finished, I was at ease with most of what she explained.

Not only did I get my first period the summer I was twelve, I got boobs. I really didn't pay too much attention to the changes I was going through, but Mom did. One afternoon, we went shopping and she bought me a new wardrobe of underwear. I got bras and panties, not the cotton panties I'd worn for years, but nice nylon ones. While the panties were still briefs, I liked the way the silky material felt against me.

In our home there was very little modesty. While no one ran around naked, it wasn't uncommon to see each other in our underwear. Once I had my new things, I would proudly parade around the house in my bra and panties. The novelty finally wore off and I stopped trying to draw attention to myself, but I didn't always wear my robe when I went from the bathroom to my bedroom either.

Mom would often be in her underwear while she prepared our breakfast in the morning. Other times, she would wear one of Dad's shirts and her panties. By the time I was thirteen, I found myself comparing my body to Mom's, as well as my friends. I voiced my concern about the size of my breasts, but mom assured me they were fine.

It was a week before I was to start the eighth grade and Mom and me were in the kitchen. My Dad was at work and my brother had left to play ball with his friends. I sat at the table and stared at my orange juice as Mom washed the dishes.

"Mom, do you think my boobies will be as big as yours someday?" I blushed as I asked Mom about my breasts.

"I don't know, Cindy. Look, your breasts are just fine, don't worry about them."

"Some of my friends have bigger boobs than I do, Mom."

"Yes, I'm sure they do, but I'll bet some of your friends have smaller ones too."

"Yeah, Suzie is really flat, she doesn't even wear a bra yet." I pushed my chest out as I told Mom about my friend.

Mom saw me and chuckled. "Why are you worried about it, Cindy?"

"Well, I have physical education this year and I don't want to be embarrassed, not about the size of my boobs."

Mom sat across from me and smiled. "Cindy, you should never be embarrassed about your body. Everyone is different, that's the way we're made. Some girls have big breasts and some have smaller ones. It's just like your hair, not all girls have the same color hair, do they?"

I shook my head.

Reaching across the table, Mom took my hand in hers.

"Mom, how about down there?" I pointed to my crotch. "I have some hair there and it's not the same color as the hair on my head, it's darker."

The hair on my head was the color of wheat, but on my crotch it was brown.

"That's normal, Cindy, nothing to worry about."

Mom had black hair on her head and I wondered if her pubic hair was the same color.

"Is yours different, Mom?"

Laughing, Mom stood up and pushed her panties down so I could see her mons. Her pubic hair was just as black as the hair on her head. The thing I really noticed was the fact that her hair wasn't a triangle like mine; hers was just a thin strip.

Mom must have realized what I was staring at. "I keep it trimmed. If I don't it looks funny when I wear a bathing suit."

Mom covered herself, sat down and grinned at me. I felt funny inside and squirmed in my chair. I had discovered that touching myself between my legs made me excited and I had the same feeling. When I took my showers, I would spend a little extra time washing myself between my legs. I found if I did it long enough, something happened and it was wonderful. Just like Mom had told me, I had begun to masturbate.

My first few days of eighth grade were pure bedlam for me. It was the first time I was in the middle school building and managed to get lost several times. At home, my brother would tease me about getting lost and Mom would yell at him.

By the end of the first week, I was getting comfortable and knew my way around. My friends and I would all eat lunch together and talk about our favorite subject, boys. We would tell each other which boys we liked and which ones we though were jerks. Kathy, a girl I'd known since first grade and my best friend, told my she liked my brother and it came as a real shock to me.

"You think my nerd brother is cute? Kirk is such a dweeb, all he does is play on his computer and read books," I said.

Although I acted like I thought my brother was strange, the truth was I adored him. Kirk helped my with my homework anytime I asked him to and because of his help, I got real good grades. We drifted apart since we turned into teenagers, but I still cared for him. The Idea of my friend liking my brother caused mixed feelings in me. On one hand I found it funny that any girl would be interested in him, but on the other hand, Kathy wasn't a girl I'd pick out for him.

I really liked Kathy, but she was a bit too wild as far as I was concerned. She often bragged about kissing boys and even letting them touch her breasts. Kathy swore she only let them touch her through her clothes, but she let them touch her.

"Yeah, I think he's cute, even if he is a nerd, Cindy." Kathy grinned at me. "Why don't you fix me up with him? You can tell him I like him and want to go out with him."

"Whatever," I said.

"Does that mean you'll do it?" Kathy asked.

"Yeah, I'll tell him, but that's all. I'm not going to play matchmaker for my brother!"

Kathy giggled. "That's cool, Cindy. You let him know I like him and I'll take it from there. Once I get my hands on him he'll be a changed boy."

That weekend, I told Kirk what Kathy said. He shrugged his shoulders and told me he really didn't care about her.

"Does that mean you don't want to go out with her?" I asked my brother.

Kirk was sitting at his computer when I told him. He spun his chair around, faced me and said, "That's exactly what it means. I want a girl that likes the things I do, Cin. I doubt that Kathy would like reading, classical music or even camping and fishing."

"Camping and fishing? Since when do you like those things?"

"Where have you been?" Kirk said indignantly. "I've been fishing for a few years now and I love it when we all go camping for our vacations. I find sitting by the water while I'm fishing is really relaxing. I take a good book and read when the fish aren't biting."

"I always thought you hated camping. When we go, you always disappear and leave me alone with Mom and Dad."

Kirk chuckled. "I don't disappear, I go fishing, Cin."

My brother and I sat in his room and talked for over an hour. I found out things I didn't know about him and told him things he didn't know about me. We talked about music, movies and even a few books we both had read. I discovered that even though my brother was smart, he was also a regular guy.

After I left Kirk's room, I went next door to my bedroom. I called Kathy, told her about telling my brother what she wanted me to tell him and listened as she went on about how Kirk didn't know what he was missing. Then Kathy told me she met another boy and wasn't interested in my brother anymore.

My brother and I spent much of that weekend together. I asked if he would take me fishing and teach me how. Kirk agreed to take me the next time he went. When I told him about wanting to tryout for the gymnastics' team, he seemed to be supportive. By the time Monday came, we knew a lot more about one another.

Three months into the school year, I met Jennifer. She was in some of my classes, including physical education. Jennifer, or Jen as she liked to be called, was different than any of my other friends. She was a year older than we were because she failed the sixth grade.

One day, after swimming, we started talking in the locker room. Jen began telling me about her boyfriend, a seventeen-year-old boy that went to another school, and some of the things they did together. Another thing about Jen was her language, she swore a lot. The more I talked to her, the more new words I learned.

"So, Cindy, do you have a boyfriend?" Jen asked.

"No," I told her.

"Why not, you're a hot looking chick?"

"I don't know, I guess it's because no one ever asked me, besides, my parents won't let me date yet, not until I'm fifteen."

"That sucks! I'd hate to have to play with myself just to get off. Boys are so much better." Jen looked at me and giggled. "You aren't going to tell me you don't play with your pussy, are you?"

I could feel myself blushing and I looked away from Jen. She laughed, took off her swimsuit and headed toward the shower room. I undressed, grabbed my towel and followed her, wrapping the towel around my naked body. Jen made no attempt to cover herself and flipped her towel as she walked.

When we were in the shower, I couldn't help glancing at her boobs. They were larger than mine and jiggled when she moved. I let my eyes drift down and noticed she shaved her pubic mound.

Jen caught me looking, rubbed her crotch and said, "My boyfriend likes it like this. He said he doesn't to get hair in his mouth when he goes down on me."

I blushed again and gave Jen a strange look. I didn't know what she meant when she said what she said.

"You know, when he eats my pussy." Jen looked at me like I had two heads. "Don't you know anything?"

I shook my head. "Not really, not about sex."

Jen laughed and shook her head. "Girl, you have a lot to learn. I love it when he eats me or when I eat him."

I was dumbfounded and couldn't visualize what she was talking about. When Jen touched me between my legs and said, "It's not bad with girls either," I felt my stomach flip.

When she touched me, I jumped and turned away from Jen. She laughed and moved so she could see my flushed face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to shock you, but you know what they say, 'if it feels good, do it.' and I do."

I hurried to finish my shower, went to my locker and got dressed. Physical education was my last class of the day so I left and went home.