One of the more frequent questions I get asked is whether my boyfriend knows that my father fucks me. Of course, the answer has always been “NO”. I’ve never told anyone outside my family about such things except for Beth, my best friend, who is for all practical purposes a member of the family (including being the only girl outside our family my dad has fucked since being married to my mom).

Following that question, I then typically get asked if I will continue to have sex with my parents once I get married. Well, the answer to that is an unequivocal “YES”. I mean, how could I turn away my father just because I got married? So long as he desires me and lusts for me, I will NEVER say no to him and anyone who marries me will just have to accept that. It’s not at all like I would be cheating on my husband with another man. I have sex with my dad because he is my father and he wants me, not at all like me going out and seeking someone for my own pleasure or fulfillment. Besides, while I would expect my husband to be totally faithful to me, he would also be allowed to be with anyone in my family as that would not be adultery so long as it remained within my own family (or his if that should be the case).

From the natural progression of questions goes to when I would tell my husband this “minor detail” about our marriage. Of course it would have to be before we got married as this is not the sort of thing you spring on a guy AFTER he has made a commitment. As my Aunt Linda proved, even if he DOES know about it, it still doesn’t guarantee it will work out. I have always figured that I would wait until someone proposed to me and make that a condition of my acceptance. That assumes I know him well enough by then that I think he would agree with my conditions. If I didn’t think so, I would simply have to refuse his proposal.

Like many things in life, things get a bit more tricky when reality sets in. For the past five months I’ve been dating the most wonderful man I have ever known - Duane. We first “met”, at least according to him and Beth, years ago at a BJ party. It was the sort of thing where the girls give all the guys blowjobs but they stay dressed and there is no sex involved. Apparently I gave Duane the best BJ that night although to be perfectly honest, there were so many guys that I didn’t remember him. You can’t blame me when you’re evening is spent with your face in one guy or another’s crotch. He was seeing other girls at the time (he is about six years older than me) and I just became a fond memory, maybe good for a jerk off or two.

After that he hooked up with my cousin Kristen at a few parties (as most guys did sooner or later). It goes without saying they had sex since that’s Kristen’s main objective on any date. What made it more interesting was her mom took a liking to him as well. After my Aunt Linda flirted with him enough, he ended up taking her out as well. It’s not like she was robbing the cradle or anything as he was 27 by then, about ten years younger than her. Of course Kristen knew her mom was going out with Duane AND what they did but Duane has always assumed his tryst with my aunt was something Kristen didn’t know about. I guess they figured while it be a fantasy come true to be screwing a mother and her daughter, might make him feel awkward to know they were both in on it.

It was back in mid-March and I had just quit my escorting job to take on a position as a school teacher, my life-long dream. To celebrate, Beth and I went out to a party and Duane was there. I didn’t recognize him and at the time, had no idea about his past relationships with my aunt and cousin. Beth was friends with him and introduced us.

The rest, as they say, was history. I feel head over heels in love with him. It was like being blind-sided by a Mack truck as I never saw it coming. With the changes in my professional life, about the last thing on my mind was finding a full-time boyfriend. Besides, it had been years since I did anything more than casually date a guy. After some bad experiences earlier in my life, I was always suspicious that guys just wanted to go out with me to have sex, not because of ME. Not that I didn’t like it, mind you, but at the same time it wasn’t the basis for any sort of deeper relationship.

Duane, on the other hand, was so much different than any of the other guys I dated. Sure, he liked having sex (I can’t see myself going out with some virgin, “waiting for marriage”), but at the same time, that’s not all we did. For the first time I went to movies with a guy and actually WATCHED the entire movie. I could spend the evening with my head in his lap and be happy keeping his zipper closed. I just enjoyed being with him.

As summer progressed, I felt more and more like he was “the one”. Of course, while he knew my “reputation”, he had no idea about what I did at home. We never even discussed incest, even as a point of conversation, let alone anything specific about me. We both got to know the other’s sexual history, sort of our way of clearing away any potential obstacles. He was actually the one to tell me about my cousin and aunt, although he didn’t realize that they WERE my relatives until I told him. You can imagine his shock at finding out they were related to me! Later, when I griped at my cousin for not telling me herself when she knew who I was dating, she just grinned and was more curious about Duane’s reaction than anything else.

Perhaps the biggest thing to happen was just recently when I learned Duane was out looking at wedding rings (see my Diary entry for August 24th - The Jewelry Store Girl). He wasn’t BUYING one yet but just the fact he was apparently interested in them was like a wakeup jolt that things might be getting serious sooner than later. Even though we had been dating for only just over five months, I know I would accept if he asked me to marry him. I’m not sure I want to be married right away but then it takes a year sometimes or more to arrange a proper wedding, at least the kind I have all planned out already.

So now I am facing the reality of what until now has been just a fantasy. Do I want to wait until he proposes to tell him about my family? That’s always been an easy way to push aside the question but now I was questioning the wisdom of such a move. He would be expecting an answer from me, not a list of demands to be negotiated. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be able to say yes when he asked me at some romantic location to be his wife. Still, I remain 100% sure that I need him to understand and agree about how our sex lives will be when we are married.

So how do you tell the man of your dreams that after he marries you that your father will be fucking you as well? It’s not like I would expect that he watch us or be obvious about it, unless, of course, he was into that sort of thing. I figure it would be somewhat like my dad and Aunt Linda had been over the years. They had been fucking each other since high school and marrying her sister didn’t change anything. Yet growing up I had no idea he was doing her. It wasn’t until I had sex with my own parents that I learned about their intimacy with my aunt. If necessary, I was prepared to be discrete if that made Duane feel better. I just didn’t want to do anything behind his back.

Just to reiterate myself as to my concept of sex and marriage (sorry if this repeats other writings of mine but it seems necessary in this context to be clear about this). When you marry someone, you pledge yourself to that person and thus sex outside of marriage is a violation of the ten commandments - “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. I figure anything big enough to get into the “top ten” of God’s requirements for us must be pretty important. Being so important, it’s crucial to understand where the boundaries are.

First, “sex” is the penetration of a woman’s vagina by a man’s penis. Blow jobs, eating pussy, “massages”, etc. are NOT technically sex and thus are permitted between a married person and anyone else. Of course, whether or not that is done needs to be agreed upon by the two partners and most people would not feel comfortable with their spouse doing these things with other people. While not “adultery”, many people would still consider it “cheating” which may be an offense to them if not to God.

Second, “marriage” is an act which unites not only two people, but their immediate families as well. A family is the single most important group and must always remain intact, even after marriage. When you marry someone, you are in effect marrying their family as well. Marriages which do not follow this concept are typically the ones that fail as they lack the support and love that the family unit brings to its members. Thus, having sex with members of your family is not adultery as it is within the marriage “family”.

So back to my question again, how do I explain this all to Duane without him getting the wrong impression? Just look at all the porn movies and internet sites that deal with incest. All of them make it out to be some family orgy or something else perverted. Look in the newspapers when incest is reported and it’s more a report of child abuse under the false pretense of “true” incest.