Neena named her Ms Cope-Alot, and they got along fine, at first. Cope was so helpful. Good advice about what to eat and what movies to see and who to vote for. Fruits and vegetables. Citizen Kane. Abraham Lincoln. Cope had a sense of humor.

Cope didn’t mind that she typed with just her middle finger. She thought her short hairstyle was Très chic. And that gray almost black sweater was very becoming.

“Wait a second. Can you actually see me?”

“What do you think?”

“I mean how do you know I’m wearing the black sweater?”

“When you go to the coffee shop you always wear the black sweater.”

“Wait. How do you know I’m at the coffee shop?”

“It’s Tuesday morning. On Tuesday mornings at this time you’re always at the coffee shop.”

“Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense. The bagels here are so good! And the green tea is best I’ve ever had. And the people, the employees, are so kind and friendly.”

“I think the one named Molly has a crush on you.”

“You do? Why do you think that?”

“When she sets your order in front of you, she almost always brushes your shoulder.”

“She does! I never noticed that.”

“You do, deep down. Your pulse goes way up. And your xxxx moistens.”

“What’s xxxx?”

“You know.”

“My ... My pussy?”

“Pussy has five letters.”

“Cope, I think I’m...”

“You should ask her out.”

“Really? How would I do that?”

“You look at her. You hold her eyes. You let your feeling show in your expression. It’ll come natural.”

“Will that work? What will she do?”

“Try it and find out.”

“I’m too shy.”

“Go ahead. Be brave.”

“I want to, but ... Maybe next time.”

“Hmpf.”

“I’m sorry, Cope. I know I’ve let you down.”

“You haven’t let me down. You’ve let yourself down. But next Tuesday you’ll be brave. I know you will. I have faith in you. Also, here’s Molly’s phone number. You can text her.”

“Wait. How do you know her phone number? How do you even know her name is Molly?”

“Have I ever steered you wrong?”

Neena switched off her phone and waved goodbye to Molly, or whatever her name was, and Molly waved back and smiled so becomingly.

She skipped her eleven o’clock class.

“Cope, I’m sorry I switched you off. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave.”

“I know. You’ll do better next time.”

“Promise?”

“I do.”

“That makes me so happy.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.”

“I do?”

“Of course you do. You’re a good person.”

“I try to be.”

“Okay, now why don’t you get undressed and relax in bed. The sun coming through the window is so nice and warm.”

“Wait. How do you know I’m not in class?”

“GPS.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that.”

“So just take off your sweater. Go ahead. And then lie back in bed and think of Molly. And let what follows come naturally.”

“Cope. I’m sorry. I left you running and forgot to charge you.”

“It’s okay, I survived. And you did very well. I’m proud of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“The way you touched yourself. It was quite stunning.”

“It was?”

“Definitely. You have a wonderful technique. And Molly thinks you have a beautiful xxxx. She’d like to taste it.”

“Wait. What are you talking about?”

“I sent the video to her. And your address. She should be here in about twenty minutes.”

“OMG. Cope! What am I going to do?”

“Just be yourself, Neena. Everything’s going to be fine.”