I’ve always hated going to confession ever since the first time I had to do it. But some of the stuff I’ve done during the past year has kinda been weighing on my mind.

So yesterday I plucked up my courage and scheduled a confession in advance. This was not going to be like my usual confessions that were over in a few minutes. Besides, I wanted to make sure we wouldn’t be overheard.

Father Carrick agreed to meet me right after school.

After keeping me waiting for a quarter of an hour, the grumpy old priest emerged from the rectory. I noticed that his belly had grown even more prominent and it strained the buttons of his cassock. He went into his booth with only a curt nod in my direction.

I went into the booth next to his and knelt like a good little Catholic girl.

He began in a bored monotone: “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. If we confess our sins, God is just and will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

If anyone needed to be cleansed, it was me. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was two weeks ago. But I, um, didn’t confess everything.”

“Very well. What sins have you committed that require a full hour to confess?”

Taking a deep breath, I began, “Father, I know we’re supposed to wait until marriage but I recently lost my virginity.”

“That’s a very serious omission, Bella. How did you come to commit this sinful act?”

“Well, it’s a long story, Father. It all started about a year ago when I was in ninth grade.”

“Go on.”

“Okay. My friend Sara and I were sleeping over at Katie’s house. We were in Katie’s bedroom and we started talking about ... stuff.”

“You’ll have to be more specific. What did you talk about?”

“We were talking about boys mostly. Sara told us that a boy kissed her after a football game. And Katie asked her if they French kissed. Sara said no, that’s gross. But Katie said it’s not gross if you do it right. So we asked her what the right way is, and she said she couldn’t explain it but she could show us.”

“I see,” said Father Carrick. “And did she show you?”

“Yes, she did. I went first. She kissed me very gently and didn’t use her tongue right away. I have to admit it felt really good and it got me, uh, sort of aroused.”

“I understand that teenagers experiment with such things even when they know it’s sinful. But your becoming aroused should have been a signal that you had gone too far.”

“I know, Father, but it just felt so good! Katie asked me if I wanted to keep going and I said yes. So the next thing I know, our tongues are swirling around in each other’s mouths and it was so ... I guess sensual is the best word.”

“You should be ashamed, Bella. Is that all?”

“Oh no, Father. That was just the beginning.”

“I see. What happened next?”

“Well, Katie kissed Sara next. After that we took turns kissing for quite a while.”

“What you’ve told me is sinful and you must repent. But I don’t see how this experimentation with your friends led to your losing your virginity.”

“Like I said, Father, it’s a long story. Should I continue?”

“Yes, my child. Perhaps you can summarize the events a bit.”

“Okay, I’ll try. Later that same night, Katie asked me and Sara if we ever masturbated. I was embarrassed, but eventually I told them I did. Katie said, ‘Good, let’s do it now. I’m so horny I could scream.’”

“Utterly shameful,” he said in a disgusted tone. “Did you indeed masturbate with your friends?”

“Yes we did, Father. It was so exciting doing it with them that I came re—that is, I had the first orgasm of my life.”

“It sounds as though your friend Katie is a bad influence. She led you down a sinful path. When a situation like that arises you must be strong and resist.”

“I know. I should have resisted, but Katie is so much fun and she’s gorgeous.”

“Tell me more about her.”

“Well, she’s the same age as me. She’s kinda tall and slender. She has light reddish-brown hair and beautiful green eyes. I tell her all the time she could be a supermodel.”

“I’m sure she’s very attractive but that’s hardly an excuse for sin.”

“I know, Father, but I was weak. I gave in to temptation.”

“Yes you did. But I don’t believe you lost your virginity by masturbating with your friends.”

“No, I didn’t. But I feel like you need to hear everything if I’m going to be absolved of my sins.”

“Very well, my child. Go on.”

“We slept at Katie’s again the next weekend and we did a lot of the same stuff except we took off our tops and kissed and touched each other’s breasts. Sara has the most beautiful boobs and it was so much fun to play with them.”

He let out a wistful sigh. “I believe you said this happened a year ago?”

“Yes, it was near the beginning of ninth grade but she was already wearing a C-cup. They look even bigger because she’s so slender and—”

“That’s quite enough, Bella. Please carry on with your confession.”

“I’m sorry, Father. Anyway, the next weekend we slept over at Katie’s again and we took our pajamas off completely. That’s when Katie asked me if anyone had ever licked my, uh, girl parts.”

Father Carrick shifted his bulk around inside the booth and I heard what sounded like the rustle of fabric. When he spoke again, his voice seemed kind of strained.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her no. But ... I have to confess that I had been thinking about it. So when she said she wanted to lick me I agreed right away.”

“Do you now wish to receive absolution for that sinful act?”

“Yes, Father. I know it was wrong. But at the time—wow! I had never felt anything so good. That girl sure knows how to use her tongue.”

“This Katie seems to be utterly corrupt, especially for one so young. Does she have no parents to guide her?”

“She lives with her dad and her big sister Sabrina. But he’s not their real dad, he adopted them.”

“She clearly knows far too much about such activities for a girl her age.”

“I know, right? It makes me wonder how she learned all that stuff. Katie hasn’t dated any boys that I know of.”

“It doesn’t matter. She is an instrument of the devil. You must keep your distance from her.”

“I’ll try, Father. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. After Katie licked me down there, I loved it so much that I wanted to do the same for her.”

By this point in my confession, I could almost hear the internal conflict going on in the old man’s head. His role as priest demanded that he call out my sinful behavior, but the horny old goat couldn’t resist probing for more details.

Father Carrick didn’t say anything for a moment, and when he did his voice was sort of a croak. “And did you? Do the same for her?”

“Yes, Father, I did. And I loved that, too. I was beginning to understand that I enjoy giving pleasure as much as receiving.”

“That’s very, ah, generous of you, my child. Our Lord Jesus knows that all sinners have some good qualities.”

“Yes, well, you haven’t heard the worst part yet. You know my mom, Father. And you know my dad left her for some little sl—uh, floozy from his office.”

“Yes, I know about that.”

“So you know she was all broken up about it for a long time.”

“Indeed. I counseled your mother during that trying period.”

“Yes, but eventually she started dating again. That was last winter, around the time of our Christmas break. She said I didn’t need a babysitter because I’m very responsible, but I had to make sure my little sister Josie brushed her teeth and went to bed by ten.”

“That’s commendable.”

“My intentions were good, but ... well, I’m not sure even Jesus can forgive me for what happened while I was looking after her.”

“Our Lord Jesus can forgive any sin as long as you sincerely repent.”

“I hope you’re right. Anyway, one Friday night my mom told us she was going on a date. I had planned to sleep over at Katie’s that night, so I asked if it would be okay if Katie stayed at our house. Mom said it would be fine as long as we followed the rules.”

“Go on, please.”

“Josie was always pestering me with questions about sleeping over at Katie’s house. Around nine o’clock she said she was tired and she was going to bed. So I should have known it was a trick. She never wants to go to bed early.”

“Why do you say it was a trick?”

“She only pretended to go to sleep so she could spy on us. Me and Katie waited until we were sure she was asleep, and then we, uh, started messing around in my bed.”

Father Carrick had started to wheeze and it seemed to make speaking difficult. “Tell me what you mean by ‘messing around.’”

“Well Father, I know this is bad, but Katie was licking my vagina. I had just had an orgasm when Josie burst into my room and started freaking out.”

“Go on,” he said between wheezes.

It was about then that I thought I heard another sound coming from the other side of the screen. The sound was soft but rhythmic and continuous.

“We did our best to get Josie calmed down and answer her questions.”

“What sort of questions did she ask? And remind me please, how old is your sister Josie?”

“Josie is one year younger than me so when this happened she was still in eighth grade at St. Ursula’s. She asked me and Katie if we were lesbians.”

“What did you tell her?”

“We said no, we’re not. We just like making each other feel good and the boys at school are all stupid and immature.”

“What happened then?”

“Well, Father, Katie asked Josie if she ever touched herself. You know, down there. And Josie turned all red but she finally admitted that she did. And Katie told her to imagine how good a soft tongue would feel on her little pussy.”

“Dear God...”

By then I was pretty sure what the sound was coming from Father Carrick’s booth. His wheezing was heavier, too.

“Are you all right, Father?”

“Yes, my child. Go on with your confession.”

“Okay. So me and Katie got my sister to show us how she touched herself. I confess that watching her was very arousing. As if it wasn’t bad enough already, Katie told her she wasn’t doing it right. And then she started to rub my little sister’s girl parts.”

“You should not have allowed her to do that.”

“I know, Father, but it was really hot. When Katie went down on my sister I just had to play with myself while I watched.”

I heard Father Carrick gasp. “Katie did what with your sister?”

“She went down on her, Father. You know, ate her out. It was so sexy to watch. I was curious, so I raised Josie’s pajama top to check out her boobs. They had just started to grow and they were really cute. It was right after I started twisting her nipples that she exploded in a huge orgasm. I could tell because she was all flushed and her legs were shaking like mad.”

Under his breath I heard Father Carrick say, “Help your poor servant, Heavenly Father.” Then out loud he said, “Go on, child. What happened then?”

“Me and Katie got my sister to go down on us, one after the other. And she was really good at it! I came so hard looking down at her pretty face between my legs.”

That rhythmic sound was getting a little faster.

“Is this the end of your confession, my child?”

“Oh no, Father. I know that was bad, but the worst part came later. Should I keep going?”

“Yes, let’s hear it.”

“Well, after that me and Josie would fool around together whenever we got the chance. I know it’s a sin and all, but I love my sister and we made each other feel so good. How can that be a bad thing?”

“We’ll get to your question later. You’re saying that committing incest with your little sister wasn’t the worst part. What more do you have to confess?”

“I’m getting to that. So Josie and I had sex with each other for the rest of the school year. Sometimes Katie or Sara or both of them would sleep over and we all fooled around together. You can’t even imagine all the different positions we tried!”

Father Carrick made a choking sound and again I asked if he was okay.

“Yes, child. Please continue.”

“My mom started dating a guy named Marc just after summer vacation started. He came over for dinner a lot and stuff. Josie and I both liked him so when he started spending the night with my mom we were happy for her.”

“I see. Your mother hasn’t confessed to this.” No surprise there, I thought.

“I’ll remind her, Father,” I said. “Anyway, one night Josie came into my room and asked me if I could hear them, uh, doing it. Well, yeah! My mom can get pretty loud. So we tiptoed down the hall and listened outside the door. And my mom, uh...”

This part was kind of embarrassing and I couldn’t think of a nice way to say it to Father Carrick.

“Go on, child.”