The police booked him for 'disturbing the peace'. He hadn't been violent, just noisy, so he showed no signs of having been ruffed up.

Seemingly from nowhere, out popped a lawyer with the unreal name of Clarence Dethro with a habeus corpus and bail money, and George was free again.

He asked Clarence who sprang for his bail and Clarence told him it was no one he knew.

"Call it a Christmas present, if you will," said Clarence.

"ChristMESS is more like it," replied George. "If the cops hadn't shown up when they did, I would have walked in front of the 11:05 (train) and ended it all!"

"That's it, George!" said Clarence. "Keep thinking of only yourself and not of the people on that train whose lives you would have turmoiled, especially the motorman, who fights to stay alert and protect lives, and who would have been permanently scarred for life had you waltzed into his locomotive."

"What am I supposed to say?" spat George back, sarcastically, "that I'm thankful?

"My Christmas present is that I just got divorced from my wife of sixteen years, and SHE got everything, even though SHE was the one who cheated on me!" cried George. "I even get to pay alimony and child support while my 'ex' continues to hump the guy she's been seeing, as long as she doesn't remarry."

Clarence brought George back down to Earth with a few clarifying facts, saying, "But YOU sought solace in the arms of your maid, leading to that damaging photo, which is why you are now here."

George defended, "But it was only a comforting emotional solace. There was never any sex intended. Marie felt sorry for me, knowing how my wife had cheated on me. Who knew that my wife had a detective ready with a camera? Unless... Marie!"

"Wrong again, Mr. Naivete," said Clarence. "She was named in your divorce as correspondent and she lost her job. YOU, on the other hand, still have your executive position, can well afford the ridiculous amounts of alimony and child support, and not once did you ever seek to find out how Marie was getting along!"

"Did it ever occur to you that Marie has had feelings for you, almost from the moment she met you, but out of respect for your marriage did she keep those feelings to herself until your wife's cheating led you to such despair that she just HAD to comfort you?" added Clarence.

"So, what now, and why are we heading to the train station? Are you inviting me to complete my macabre mission?" asked George.

"Yes and no," replied Clarence. "I need you to flag down that train, which isn't scheduled to stop, but will continue towards Manhattan where it will strike and kill Marie about three to four hundred yards past the station, when it will be just accelerating again."

"But, why don't we..." George turned to look at Clarence, but he was gone!

The blare of the diesel horn told George there was no time. By pure instinct, he walked out onto the track and lit his cigarette lighter, waving it gently across and back, which he remembered from his youth was the flagman signal to stop.

Had there been no station and crossing gate, the train would normally pass by at eighty, and George's attempt would have been in vain. He would have to dive out of the way or become spatula scrapings!

The reality of the situation was that, even at forty, the train had no chance to stop in time before hitting George, but he DID dive out of the way at the last second.

Forced into an emergency braking, the train finally DID come to a stop about two hundred yards after passing George. The motorman radioed for police and walked back to make sure he hadn't hit anyone.

The officer recognized George from earlier and guaranteed him that THIS time, he would be sent for observation. There would be no bail!

George struggled against his cuffs and turned to the motorman and warned, "If you want to keep a clean conscience, check for a young lady another few hundred yards down the track. I flagged you to prevent you from hitting HER."

The cop told the motorman that George was crazy and delerious.

George left the motorman with this conundrum, "Delerious? Did I use the proper railroad signal?"

The railroad man insisted that the police check out George's story, since the train was already stopped.

Twenty minutes after being admitted for observation, George was joined by Marie, also now under observation. And an officer was posted at the exit.

First, they were both tested for blood alcohol. Marie was 'wasted' by today's standards.

George, on the other hand, blew only 0.03 - a virtual swig!

During the interview with the doctor, George told him he didn't try to commit suicide. He dove out of the way, didn't he? And the person he claimed to flag down the train for was in the next room! What more proof do they need of his sanity?

Indeed.

Now the cops wanted to know HOW George knew about Marie's being where she was, if he had nothing to do with it!

George mentioned Clarence, but then he clammed up. They might still lock him up for observation.

So he asked the cop who arrested him, "Who bailed me out, earlier tonight?"

The cop told him it was the PD.

"That makes no sense - the Police Department?" challenged George.

Just then, a wise cracking sergeant walked up and asked the arresting officer, "Is this the bailee?"

Yessir.

"George, bailee? On Christmas eve, no less? Oh - priceless!" he said.

The arresting officer added, "Wait until you hear who he said bailed him out!"

"Wait - don't tell me... Clarence!" laughed the sergeant.

"It was the Public Defender, sir." laughed the officer.

"I can't help it if he told me his name was Clarence!" defended George.