Chapter 1

The door to my childhood home was unlocked - which was odd for six o'clock Sunday morning.

I stepped into the house that I grew up in, but it looked nothing like my memories. Dropping my overnight bag next to me, forgotten before it hit the floor, I stood in the foyer and stared at the mess about me. Every corner had crumpled paper, dust balls... there was months of newspapers haphazardly pilled next to the door... various boots and shoes thrown against the hallway wall.

Taking only a few steps I stood in the entrance to the huge living room and starred in shock. It was obvious that there had been a party the night before - it was also obvious that there had been other parties... months of neglect so that the once-proud room stunk like the cigarettes and alcohol that littered the room. There was even discarded clothing strewn about - jeans over the stained couch, pink cotton panties beneath the garbage covered glass coffee-table, a silk blouse a mere meter before me on the hardwood floor.

I shouted, "Mom?"

A year ago dad had left mom and I, months latter the divorce was final. It was typical that he had left mom for a much younger woman, girl really, that had half the intelligence of my mother but a much larger breast size. He drove a convertible sports car now and was constantly trying to be my friend... wanting to 'hang out'.

Fuck off dad.

The thing is; it devastated mother. She never saw it coming and when it did, it shattered, what she thought, was her happy life. Since I still lived at home those early weeks of the separation; I remember a crazy flow of emotions from her. From anger so real that it scared me to sadness that debilitated her completely. Suddenly, her 'happy' middle-class life ended and she suddenly became the 'ex-wife'. Desperation set in and mother asked me to move out, which I was glad to do... the place was overbearing with emotions and memories, and then she tried to turn into someone she was not, to entice her husband back home.

Of course it did not work - but I knew that dad frequently dropped by during that time. Once I sat in my car a hundred meters from my home and watched him come out of the house, checking his belt buckle, before getting into his convertible and roaring off down the road. I entered the house to find mother looking all flighty and wearing a big grin. I knew what they had been doing and it disgusted me - not from the knowledge that my parents were having sex but that I knew, even if mother did not, that dad was just wetting his dick and that it never mattered to him. Call it a guy-thing, but mother was just an easy-fuck for dad.

Mother found out soon enough; when the legal papers arrived for the divorce and dad refused to even take her calls, let alone visit her again.

Or so I thought.

Even from University, a thousand kilometres away, I found out from others that mother had become totally introverted, hiding away in her bedroom for weeks on end. And then the news, from friends, stopped... but mothers calls made it sound as if she were returning to normal, that she was spending her divorce money, and that she was happy.

Since it is relevant; mother called once a week, usually during a weeknight, and on one call I asked, "Are you seeing anyone mom?"

Her forced-gaiety, forced because she was always serious since the divorce, ended and she soberly answered, "No one serious." The call ended right after that. The tone of her voice puzzled me, and I can still recall that conversation with clarity.

I walked into the kitchen and found the same dismal condition; this time the counters were stacked with old pizza boxes, containers from all the local favourite take-out places.

Seeing the shape that my childhood home was in caused the anger within me to build. I had come home by a phone call since my best friend from high school, his younger sister that always had a crush on me, had phoned and told me some of the most horrific things that I thought I would ever hear. Things that mother was doing to men and women of our town - things that middle-aged women did not do... else they run the risk of becoming a town-whore. From what my friend's sister told me, mom was not charging anyone - but she would spread her legs at any time, to do anything. I guess that would mean she was the town slut instead!

Truthfully I did not believe it - thus the reason for my unannounced and sudden visit. Mother was the role model for middle-aged upper-middle-class ladies. She worried what the neighbours thought, she went to church, always wore dresses, never swore, volunteered at several church or neighbourhood functions... I could go on forever.

There was another reason that I thought the claim false, my mother was now in her middle-forties, but even ten years ago no one would ever say she was beautiful. She was rather petite with a soft curvy body, common but I would say attractive face and had always looked her age.

I just could not see my mother as a town slut!

Like a magnet I was drawn up the stairs and down the hallway toward the open doorway of my mothers bedroom. The room that mother and father shared for most of my life. The hallway carpet was dirty, dusty and had bits of food and garbage pushed to the sides... and it felt like a kilometre walk. I knew, before I reached the room, that mother was home... but my thought process tried hard not to process more than that.

Then I stood in the doorway to the master bedroom - my mothers bedroom and immediately saw that my parent was home.

She lay upon her very messy and dirty bed, sleeping with a light snore, upon her side and curled in a fetal position. Mother was wearing only a single black stocking that I noticed, had several runs and had slipped almost to her knee. Her previous short-sensible brown hair was now much longer and platinum white... but very messy and even looked like it may have knots. I saw rope bound over one wrist, the other end loose... but my eyes trailed to the corners of the bed to see three more rope knots still tied to the bed. I could see that mothers soft curvy body was gone, instead she looked almost emancipated - thin... used.

My eyes looked upon her pale skin for the first time in my life - nudity in the house I grew up was non-existent. There was bruises on the inside and back of her legs, her ass was black and blue. Almost alien I saw that the nails of her toes and fingers were bright red, but the polish was cracking. Though she was facing away from me I could see something that caught my eye, as being out of place. It was the very large breasts hanging from my own mothers chest - they were huge! Mother had always been small in the chest - so that I did not have to had seen her naked to know these had to be fake.

Looking closely at the skin of her raised ass cheek, of her breasts and even her thighs - I could see a dried substance that I immediately understood what it was.

I tore my eyes from my mothers slumbering, soiled, body and looked at the shape of her bedroom. There was no reason why this room should be any better than elsewhere in the house - and it wasn't. There was a box of condoms - looking much less than the gross that the writing on the box promised. There was clothing everywhere - mens and women's. Old plates and glasses - some with so much dust that I could not see through the familiar glass. There was a plastic garbage by the door that I stood in and I had to look away immediately, realizing that it contained dozens, perhaps many more, of soiled condoms. There was an open drawer that was filled will dildos and vibrators, leather harnesses that I had no idea of their usage. Behind mother, on the mess of her bed, was the two ping-pong paddles from the table in the basement - those explained mothers abused bottom. In the corner by the private bathroom door stood a solid looking tripod, but with no camera attached. There was a large television here, with two video players on the top of it - the unit was facing the foot of the bed.

Everything about the house, this room and especially mother screamed to me to run away. Simply go back to school and pretend like this visit never happened - say nothing to mother over the phone. There seemed little chance that she would invite me for a visit and I must discourage any such thought.

But then, before a decision was made, I heard the doorbell ring from downstairs.

Mother heard it as well - shifting slowly onto her back and stretching her legs and arms lazily. I was facing her feet and could not help but look at the place between mothers thighs - shocked that there was not a single hair between her legs. Though I could see the thick outer labia and the pink inner lips peaking out, as if sticking a tongue out at me.

When my eyes moved back up to mother's face I stood shocked to see her looking back at me.

From downstairs a playful-shout, "Martha? Come on down honey... I have something for ya!" The voice was familiar but I could not quickly place it - and had no time to consider it further.

"Todd... I did not know you were coming home today?" She still sounded like 'mother', perhaps an octave lower and raspy, but she certainly bore little resemblance to the woman that I knew and loved.

As mom sat up onto her elbows, I could not help but notice that her very large balloon-like breasts did not loose their shape upon her chest as she moved.

I did not know what to say; mother did not even close her legs and sat lewdly before me with her feet spread a meter apart.

Less playful this time, "Come on Martha... I have to get home before Gloria misses me?"

Mother offered, "That would be Glen."

From next door? He was over sixty for god sake! I used to cut their lawn, his wife would make the ice tea that I sold on my street-side box when I was a kid.

"He likes to come over before church." Mother was stating this so commonly that it felt like I had stepped through the mirror into a different reality. A dream perhaps?

Unfortunately not.

With weary movements, my parent rolled to the edge of the bed, sat up... tenderly removed the rope from her one wrist, bent over to remove the torn stocking and then stood. She did not even look at me as she walked carefully through the doorway into her private bathroom.

With guilt I continued to stare at her naked body until she disappeared. She looked completely different - gone was the round softness, the gentle curves. What was left was a thin woman, with her ribs even showing, the curves now almost coarse - about her hips and waist. But those huge breasts swung hypnotically upon her chest and I saw that her ass still had enough flesh to give it a womanly curve.

Mom shouted out from the bathroom, "Not today Glen... Todd is home!"

With the bathroom door open, I could hear mother urinate and then brush her teeth. From downstairs I heard the front door open and close quickly - evidently Glen did not want to welcome me home.

In record time mother walked out of the bathroom, still completely naked, but I saw that she had washed the dried sperm from her face and breasts. Yet she could not wash the wearily puffy eyes that now looked at me soberly.

"I wish you would have called before coming home Todd."

She walked over to the dresser and dug in a pile of clothing and came out with a pack of cigarettes. Mother took one and lit it as if she had been doing this all her life... while I remembered my mom as a woman that could not stand the smell of tobacco smoke, let alone smoke.

"When you going back to University? Or did you drop out?"

She snapped her fingers before her face when the silence lasted minutes, "Earth to Todd?"

"Mom... ?"

She interrupted, taking a large inhale of her cigarette prior to speaking, "Relax honey, I don't bite. Go sit there." She pointed with her free hand at the foot of the bed.

Like an automation I moved as directed, trying hard to ignore the stains... new and old... on the bedding as I sat down. Beneath my foot, I saw, was a discarded and empty looking tube of KY jelly.

Mother took one more drag and then dropped the cigarette into a half-filled glass on the dresser. She then strode over to the foot of the bed, before me, and then after a brief pause climbed up so that she straddled my lap. My head was between those huge fake breasts while she wiggled her lap upon my crotch, as if to get comfortable.

"Mom!" I pushed my face from between her breasts and fell back onto my elbows looking up at my mothers unfriendly-smirk.

"Whats the matter Todd... I am sure you have enough time to fuck your mommy!" Again she wiggled her hips, but this time the aim was better and I knew she was grinding her hairless vagina directly over my crotch.

Mom's hands slipped down and started to undo my pants - she did it so deftly, I knew she had lots of practise. Almost a whisper I feebly argued, "Mom... no!"

Mother giggled without any happiness, "I know all boys want to fuck their mommies! Half your friends from school like to call me mommy when I fuck them!"

It was when her cool hand slipped into my open pants and beneath my boxer shorts and I felt it grasp my half-hard penis did I jump and put some passion into my defence. Mother immediately feel next to me on the bed from her perch on my lap and her hand was yanked from my underwear.

"God damn it Todd!" She lay on her side glaring at me.

Quickly I stood, since I realized I was laying on that disgusting bed while my mother lay so close to me that I could almost feel the heat of her skin. I could still feel the heat of her sex - where it had ground into my covered crotch - in embarrassment.

"Do you want to fuck me or not?" She sounded rather angry with me just then and I wondered if it was because I did not allow her to 'fuck' me.

My senses were near overload, my conscious felt as if it was about to break under the pressure. Not only had I been warned what I would find when I returned home - that warning could never communicate the vileness of what my mother had turned into!

I was disgusted and nauseous - and turned to half-run, half-stumble from my parents room. I could feel mothers cold eyes upon me until I stumbled down the stairs and out of her sight. I ran right back into the living room to find two of my high school friends sitting in chairs reading dirty, and half destroyed, magazines.

They looked up in surprise at the abrupt entrance and then even more so when they realized it was I. Both looked down at my open pants at the same time - the astonished looks turning quickly to knowing smirks.

"Hey man - when did you get back?"

"Shit, it looks like you started a party without us. Mind if we join in?"

What?

They both stood and looked past me before I heard the noise of someone stepping on crumpled paper behind me. I spun to see my mother wearing a terry-cloth dirty robe, untied so that she revealed her full frontal nudity to all three of us, stepping down the stairs. She mumbled, "Hello boys", and then kept walking right past us down the hallway to the kitchen.

I followed her with my eyes and I realized something that I should have seen earlier - mother looked like she had lost her soul, dead inside and I suddenly felt very sorry for her.

Behind me one of my old friends laughed, "I hope all her holes are ready for us!" The other laughed maliciously.

I spun back toward them, "Get out!" My voice was full of venom and contained a definitive threat. The two guys looked at me with a startled look, one that turned to surprise and then nervous fear.

"Hey, we didn't mean any harm buddy... !"

"Yea... its not like our first time with your mom Todd... !"

I started to stride toward them - thankfully they had the wisdom to turn and run from my mothers home, else I am not sure what I was capable of at that moment. I followed them to the front door and then slammed it shut behind them, locking it firmly, as soon as they were out of sight.

Striding with a new found purpose I went into the kitchen to find mother scrambling eggs in a frying pan with a half burned cigarette hanging from her lips. She only briefly looked up at my entrance and asked, her smoke dancing between her thin lips, "Want some eggs honey?"

I did not hesitate but strode up and yanked the burning cigarette from her mouth - throwing it into the dirty sink a meter away.

She frowned in anger but did not say a word for several seconds, "So its going to be that way is it? You want to be the man and order your mom around huh?" The open robe that hung from her shoulders suddenly slipped down past her body to bundle at her feet - again mother was completely naked before me. A seductive smile came to her lips - one that held no warmth at all. In a little girl voice, "Perhaps mommy needs her baby to give her a good spanking?" She bent at the waist and arched her back so that her teardrop shaped backside faced toward me.

I could not help but notice that her buttocks were very attractive and in her current position could see right down to the pink wrinkled muscle of her anus.

It took some self control to look back up into my mothers somber eyes, "Mom - what happened to you?"

She immediately stood back up and faced the frying pan and the eggs. "I have no idea what you mean honey?" Her voice was cold - distant.

Waving at the disgusting mess about the kitchen, "The house for one... ?"

She interrupted and mumbled, "The fucking maid comes tomorrow." I could tell she was lying and she did not seem to care.

"... and what about the men... ?"

She shrugged and then turned off the dial to the burner - lifting the pan and carrying it over to the table. Mother started to eat right out of the frying pan - using a dirty fork she found beneath a pile of old used dishes on the table before her.

"Did you have some kind of nervous breakdown or something?"

Mother looked at me firmly for a brief second and then started to laugh as if that was the funniest thing she had heard in a very long time. Suddenly she stopped Laughton, "Just leave it alone Todd. You would not understand!" There was desperation in her voice, pain and I was thankful that I got something out of her that seemed a shadow of her old self.

Though a part of me wanted to retreat from this house, run as fast as I could, I could never do that to my mother. I pushed a pile of pizza boxes off the chair next to mothers and sat down. "Why don't you try me mom?"

She eyed me wearily, eating her eggs without even looking down at the pan, and then coldly replied, "It took almost forty years but I finally learnt that the only worth that men find in me is based on fucking." She aimed the fork at me threateningly, "When it cames right down to it - the only thing men want from me is sex."

I sat silent, digesting what mother had said, and agreed with her - that I did not truly understand. Perhaps I could never understand but I resolved to try.

The pan was suddenly empty of its contents and mother shoved it onto the table before her, among months of other refuse.

"No one really fucking cares if I live or die - only if I will spread my legs for them."

I could not let that pass, "I care mom?"

Her head spun and her eyes shot toward me, "Do you? Do you really?"

I nodded affirmatively.

"Did you think I did not notice how you looked at me when you were a teenager Todd? How you always managed to drop your fork beneath this very table whenever I wore a loose skirt. Or that my dirty panties would go missing... for days at a time. And that hole you bored through the drywall from your closet into the bathroom?"

My face burned with sudden shame - and the adolescent fantasies and desires welled back up within me.

"If you had come home today and found everything just as it was - me not looking like a slut that just came from a ten-man train - and I asked you to 'make love' to me", she said those words with something bordering on contempt, "do you really think you would not jump at the chance?"

Was it true what she said - probably yes. Years ago, just starting adolescence, I did spy upon the only woman in our home - finding her attractive and sexy. There was also the thrill of discovery of one's sexuality - of those early fumbling masturbation sessions - and how the thoughts of my mother and I having sex were so naughty they were also delicious. It had been my greatest secret - something I thought no one else alive knew and it was certainly not something I was going to reveal to anyone... ever. Mom knew all along though and that was too much to consider in the moments since she had revealed my most telling secret.

"Well I have learnt my lesson Todd and now any man that wants me can have me. That includes you?"

She spoke that last sentence as a question, her thighs spreading so that the white skin of her pubic region was visible - the dark pink of her inner labia peaking out, yet again, toward me.

Mother suddenly slide to the floor and to her knees, her hands reaching out to me. My still open jeans were pulled wide and her hands pulled out my soft member. As she started to lean forward I jerked my body upright, to stand above her. Mother froze, not understanding my move, until I walked away from her - toward the sink. My dick bouncing before me comically.

I asked from across the room, mother sighing as she pushed her body back up into her chair, "What about 'love' mom?"

"'Love'!" She spat out the word, disgust and anger rising visibly within her. "Look what 'love' has gotten me so far in this life? A husband that hates the sight of me... but wait, he still likes to jack off onto the face he hates so much. What about the boys back in high school - that told me they 'loved' me just so that they could fuck me. And I bet that you never knew your 'loving' grandfather could not keep his hands to himself - telling me how much he 'loved' me as he spanked and then finger fucked my ass or cunt at least once a week. Don't forget the cocks that use me now - almost all tell me how much they 'love' to fuck me, or 'love' how I suck their cocks, or 'love' how my ass or cunt seems to milk the come from their balls." Through mothers rapid verbal diatribe, her voice had risen so that she was standing in the middle of the kitchen screaming at me. What she had said, the things and images that she had revealed caused sorrow within me and I felt like I suddenly knew more about my mother than all the years we lived together.