To say I had an average, normal childhood would be a lie. I never really knew my father, he left when I was pretty young. My mother, well, she wasn't much of a mom. By the time I was 10 I had ended up living with my Aunt and uncle. At the time I wasn't exactly clear on why I had to go live with them.

Calling me a bratty little shit at the time I moved in with them was to be kind. I was a terror on two feet. I had met my aunt, uncle and their daughter, my cousin, a few times at family gatherings, such as holidays. Even at that young age it wasn't hard for me to tell that my mother wasn't always welcome. I came to understand in later years that my mom was definitely the black sheep of the family.

There were some very trying times for all of us in the beginning. My aunt and uncle had to of shown extraordinary patience. My cousin Kim and I positively hated each other. Daily fights were the normal and I was constantly being mean to her.

As with a lot of things, time and patience slowly won out. By the time I was in my mid teens things had become much better between us all. Even Kim and I had formed a truce. This was mainly due to the fact that I wasn't being such a little bastard. In fact, Kim and I could even stand to hang out together on occasion. Still, my aunt and uncle never had been able to completely get rid of the chip on my shoulder.

I was an example of contrasts. I was able to get straight A's with barely studying, yet I often slacked off on my school work and was prone to getting into trouble at school. More than once my aunt was called to school after I had been in a fight. I had a reputation as being incredibly smart, short tempered and incredibly smart mouthed.

No one seemed to be able to penetrate the shell around me or to get inside of what I was thinking and feeling. No one that is, until I was 17. That was when the impossible was accomplished by the most unlikely person to accomplish it. My cousin Kim, the person I had tormented the most when younger was the only person to get inside of me.

It started after another one of my fights. It was the summer after my junior year in high school. You see, the story was out on me. It had been for sometime now. My mother was a crack head and a slut. My father was in prison and probably would be for the rest of his life. That's what happens when you are convicted of kidnapping and rape. I really didn't like some wise ass reminding me of these facts. The greatest fear I had was of myself and the blood that flowed through my veins.

I was sitting in my room nursing the split lip I had and the bloody nose. I consoled myself with the fact that the other guy looked far worse. As was my habit, I had my headphones on and was blasting first Billy Idol, then Don Henley into my ears. I always did this when I was wound tight.

I didn't hear the knock at my bedroom door nor did I hear Kim come in when I didn't reply to the knock. I had my eyes closed and was getting lost in the music. Suddenly I had the feeling that I wasn't alone. I popped open my eyes to see Kim standing next to me, looking at me with a stern expression on her face. I saw her mouth moving but I couldn't hear her words so I peeled the head phones off and stopped my tape player.

"Jesus Brad, another fight?" Kim said to me.

I just shrugged my shoulders in response.

"Hang on a minute." Kim said as she stormed out of my room.

So Kim was upset at something I did again. There was nothing new there and I wasn't going to let what she thought about it bother me. That's what I told myself anyway. That's what I always told myself.

Kim came back in my room carrying a wet wash cloth and a towel. She sat down on the edge of my bed next to me.

"Let's get you cleaned up before mom and dad get home and see that you've been in another fight."

I sat up facing Kim and silently let her clean the dried blood off of my face. She gently wiped me up with the warm wash cloth, and then just as gently dried my face again.

"What brought this fight on?" She asked me after she had finished.

"You know, some assholes just deserve it." I replied with a shrug.

"There seems to be quite a few assholes that deserve it according to you." Kim answered back.

"There are." I answered with a defiant look on my face.

"And none of it could be you, huh."

"What do you know of it? What do you know of me? Nothing!" I shot back.

"That's true but that's your fault, not mine." Kim responded quietly yet firmly. She stood up and started out of my room.

"You should put some ice on your lip to take the swelling down." Kim said as she looked back over her shoulder at me just before walking out.

I got up and headed to get some ice for my lip while telling myself at the same time what a busy body Kim could be. I couldn't help but think about what she had said though.

That night while in bed, her words still echoed in my brain. Could any of it be me? It was my fault she knew nothing of me. What a load of shit I told myself. She was full of shit. It wasn't my fault people were asses. It wasn't my fault that she or anyone else never took the time to really know me.

In the darkness I thought about all the times lately that Kim had in fact, tried to talk to me and how I had shut her down every time. I thought of the times she tried to calm me after one of my fights and how I pushed her away every single time. I realized there in the darkness that she had tried and I had quashed it over and over.

Even with all of the grief I had caused her, Kim was the only person who really did try to understand me, not just feel sorry for me. Even more than my aunt and uncle did. I assumed she was probably tired of even trying by now.

"Jesus, you really are full of shit asshole. What a dick." I whispered to myself.

I let out a deep sigh and crawled out of bed. I quietly walked to Kim's room. I could see the faint glow of a light from under her door and I knew she was reading as usual. I softly rapped on her door.

"Come in." Kim quietly answered.

I opened her bed room door but stood in the doorway just outside of the reach of her reading lamp, still safely sheathed in darkness.

"I'm Sorry Kim. You're right." I quietly said from the darkness.

"You don't have to live being lonely, you know." She softly told me.

"I know. Good night." I answered as I closed her door before she might actually see that there was a tear snaking its way down my cheek.

I went back to my room and laid down, though sleep didn't come quickly for me. Finally I drifted off into a fitful slumber with dreams that escaped my memory when I woke the next day. I hadn't been awake for long when there was a knock on my door.

"Yeah." I answered. Kim walked in wearing her usual smile.

"I came to drag your lazy ass out of bed." Kim said in teasing.

"Yeah, yeah. What's up brat girl?" I answered back.

"Dad and mom rode to work together and left us her car. What say we go to the pool and then stop at the mall?"

"That sounds cool." I replied.

"Well, then get up and get dressed. Don't make me do it for you." Kim said to me with mock impatience.

"What's the hurry, hot date?"

"Nope. I just want to get out of the house and maybe hang out with my cuz for awhile." She answered me.

"Damn girl, why in the hell you wanna do that? You really are twisted wanting to hang out with that disturbed bastard."

"He's not so bad sometimes, when he wants to be." Kim said with a laugh.

I grabbed one of my pillows from my bed and flung it at my cousin's head. "Alright, be gone with you wench so that I can get up and dressed."

"Wench? Watch it geek boy." Kim shot back with a laugh as she left my room.

In spite of myself I couldn't help but smile. Kim often had a way of making me smile where others couldn't. Suddenly she poked her head back in my room.

"I saw that smile tough guy. Careful or you might ruin your reputation showing that softer, gentler side." Kim said with a giggle.

"Jesus, leave already you little hussy!" I heard Kim laughing as she shut my bed room door.

I got up and dressed in shorts and a tank top. I grabbed my swim suit before walking out and headed for the kitchen. I was determined to eat some breakfast before leaving, no matter how impatient Kim was. I was famished.

I went into the kitchen and toasted myself a couple of pop tarts and grabbed a bowl of cereal. Kim came in shortly after, trying to get me to hurry as I had expected. I quickly finished my breakfast to appease my cousin and we were off.

Kim drove us to the community swimming pool. We changed into our swim suits in the dressing rooms and met out at the pool side. Kim's auburn hair stood out against her creamy skin that had yet to start developing a summer tan. She had really blossomed in the past couple of years into a striking young woman. She had my aunt's green eyes and her hour glass figure. She looked great in her bikini.

We sat down on a lounge chair and Kim asked me to put some sunscreen on her back. It was a beautiful day, already in the 80's. It was going to be a hot day. I figured it was a preview of a long hot summer.

We had a good time swimming, messing around, and teasing each other. By early afternoon we were both hungry. Deciding that we had had enough sun for the day we got out to change back into our clothes. The plan was to go to the mall, do some window shopping and grab some lunch at the food court.

Just as we were heading into the dressing rooms the day took a turn for the unpleasant. A kid named Jake, one of the school's biggest idiots, and a couple of his tag -along cronies showed up. I groaned inwardly and prepared myself for inevitable confrontation.

"Hey, psycho boy, how's your mom and dad doing?" Jake quipped as he brushed past me.

"Blow me shit for brains." I replied.

"What did you say?" He asked, turning on his heels to face me.

"Are you hard of hearing or did I just use too many big words for you?" I challenged back. "I realize you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed. I can dummy down for you if you need."

"Come on Brad." Kim said, taking me by the hand and trying to pull me in the direction of the changing rooms.

"Yeah, listen to your bimbo cousin and take a walk before you get yourself hurt." Jake said, taking a couple steps closer.

"Not likely." I answered; my eyes never looked away from his.

"Let's go Brad. Forget this jerk." Kim urged me.

"You know Kim, you look pretty good today. If you want to drop the looser I might let you have the honor of giving me some head," Jake smirked. This brought out a round of chuckles from his buddies.

"Yeah, and whose dick are you going to borrow, or do you plan on growing one of your own in the near future?" Kim shot back. I had to admit she impressed me.

"Fuck you bitch. You're probably like some hillbilly fucking your own cousin every night."

In a flash Kim's hand shot out and she punched Jake square in the nose. It looked like a pretty good hit. I could see a trickle of blood starting to leak from his nostril. Jake stood there with a stunned look on his face.

It was my turn to grab her hand and drag her to the changing rooms. The last thing I wanted was for anything to happen to Kim. We got out to the car and Kim asked me to drive to the mall. She sat in silence, brooding in the passenger seat.

"You're right, some assholes do deserve it." Kim finally said to me.

"So, where did you learn to hit like that? I asked.

"From you, silly." Kim said, looking at me now. I couldn't help but to laugh and soon Kim joined in.

"I think I'm a bad influence on you." Although I was joking with her, secretly there was a part of me that wondered.

Kim smiled at me. "I'll take my chances." She said, laying her head on my shoulder.

We arrived at the mall and the rest of the day went pretty well. Kim was amused to drag me into her girlie stores to look at clothes and things. To her credit, she did give my favorites equal time.

We got back home close to dinner time but since we had a late lunch, neither one of us were very hungry. My aunt decided to make a light dinner for her and my uncle. There was always stuff to munch on if Kim and I got hungry later.

Kim and I headed for my room to play video games instead. Though I usually beat her, she was actually pretty good. After a couple of hours, Kim decided it was time for a bath. She had rinsed off in the dressing room at the pool but wanted to thoroughly wash her hair now. When she was finished, we decided we would play some monopoly, maybe watch a movie and make a late night of it.

My aunt and uncle had over compensated for my early life by giving me a TV and VCR for my room. Not to mention the video games. Kim didn't lack for things herself but early on it really did appear that they had tried to use material things to make up for the things I had missed out on.

I heard Kim leaving the bathroom finally and headed in for my turn at a shower. I knew without looking or asking that Kim would be on her way to get some ice cream. Ice cream was her one weakness.

By the time I walked back into my room, Kim was already setting up the monopoly board. She was wearing her usual bed time attire, a long sleep shirt and panties. For some reason I felt my face flush some as I looked at her thighs.

We settled down to play. Kim and I were both cut throat when it came to monopoly. We had epic battles that often lasted for hours, going back and forth. We continually teased and baited each other throughout the game.

"Why aren't you dating anyone?" Kim suddenly asked me, about an hour into the game.

"I think the only girls who have ever dated me did so just to piss off their parents." I said with a laugh.

"Girls kind of like bad boys." Kim said with a giggle.

"Maybe to date here and there but not for anything steady." I replied with a shrug. "What about you?"

"Me?" Kim asked with a snort. "Look at me; I'm not exactly model material."

I was stunned. Did Kim really not know how attractive she was?

"What in the hell do you mean?" I asked. "You're a full fledged hottie."

"That is sweet to say but I know I'm not all that. I have chunky thighs, and big hips." Kim said while looking down at her exposed thighs.

"That's called a female figure, goof. It's normal to have some hips, thighs and boobs." I said with a laugh.

"Well, I've got the boobs, no doubts there." Kim replied with a giggle.

"You're just fine. Don't be so self conscious. A lot of girls would kill to have your figure."

"Thank you." Kim said with a big smile and a hint of a blush.

Much to my dismay, Kim won our monopoly game and in less time than it usually took. She reveled in her victory. After the game, we pulled the TV close and got comfortable on my bed to watch a movie.