Prelude

I am Edward Dobson, known by everyone except my mother as Ed. I'm six feet tall and weigh 190 pounds. I have blondish hair and blue/gray eyes. I'm sixteen years old and I've been told by all of my teachers that I'm exceptionally gifted. So, what is wrong with this picture? I'm also a nerd.

I am the middle of three children. My brother John is two years older than me and last year he was quarterback and captain of the Medford High School football team. John had been offered, and has accepted an athletic scholarship to UCLA.

I also have a sister, Kathleen. At fifteen, she is a beauty. As a freshman, she was elected to the homecoming queen's court at the exclusive, private school where mom had her enrolled. Everyone figures she'll be queen for the next three years. Kathleen isn't a bad kid and she isn't stuck up at all. If it hadn't been for mom's constant reminders that she felt Kathleen was more important than me, we might have been very close.

Now school is about to start again. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm going to be a senior this year and most seniors are anticipating all of the parties and dances and sports, but not me. I've never had a girlfriend; in fact I've never even been on a date.

I am trying to do something about that. I had a full time job all summer, working for a local software company. I bought myself an older car to drive to work and it will also give me some more mobility at school as well. I started working out at the beginning of summer. I've put on some muscle weight and lost all of my baby fat.

I knew I look a lot better than I ever have. I also know that looking better hasn't helped me get over being tongue tied around girls. I run into Mindy Toliver a couple of weeks before and I thoroughly embarrassed myself as I usually do when I'm around a pretty girl.

Things hadn't changed at school. I knew it as soon as I had parked my car and started toward the building. Two of the football jocks who had given me trouble all the way through school were leaning against one of their cars and I had to pass right by them.

"Hey, it's the computer weenie," Jeff Wilson said to his buddy, Sam Silvers.

"Looks like he's growing up a little bit," Silvers said.

"Yeah, but he's still a geek," Wilson replied.

"Hey, Dobson, you still fucking your right hand?" Both of the jocks thought that was hilarious.

I didn't. I just walked on passed them as if I hadn't even heard them.

Things did seem to be a little bit different though, or maybe it was just my imagination. When I went into Home Room, a couple of girls, who wouldn't have even spoken to me last year, seemed to be checking me out.

My first class was Advanced Physics. I've always been interested in Physics and I was looking forward to this class for another reason as well. It was very unlikely there'd be any jocks in it. In fact, there weren't many people in the class at all.

I counted fifteen kids before class started. Only two of them were girls. One of them I knew. Marsha Phillips and I had been competing in class for the last four years. I knew Marsha, but I didn't like her. She had one of those personalities that left you feeling she thought she was better than you.

The other girl, I'd never seen before. Not that there was much to see now. She had reddish, brown hair that was not much darker than mine. I couldn't tell how tall she was because she was already sitting down when I came in. Her body? With the clothes she was wearing, I assumed she had a body, but I really couldn't tell.

She had on a long, loose skirt that came down to her ankles. Her blouse was loose and bulky. It had long sleeves and it was buttoned all the way to her throat.

Her face was cute, but nothing to write home about.

Physics class was great. I'd had the teacher, Mr. McClasky, last year and I liked him. He described the curriculum and it sounded interesting. Everyone in the class seemed to participate, which is always a plus.

My second period class was Calculus. I hadn't expected there would be any more in that class and there wasn't. Fifteen kids again with the same two girls. Now, how the hell was I supposed to meet a girl and build up enough courage to ask her for a date when there weren't any girls in my classes?

Third period was a little better. Senior English was a mixture of about half boys and half girls. It was also a much larger class. There were probably 25 or 26 people in the class. The problem was, I'd gone to school with most of the girls in the class since seventh grade.

I ran into Skippy Henderson going in to lunch. Now, if I'm a geek, Skippy is a GEEK. Skippy is into computers as much or more than I am. At least he was someone I could talk to during lunch.

My first class after lunch was Advanced Computer Languages. I figured it was going to be a fairly easy course for me. I could already program in almost every programming language known to man. I'd had Mr. Abreze in class before, so I knew he'd keep it interesting. The same new girl was in this class as well.

I had to take an American History class as well. I had it in sixth period and then I had a study hall in seventh period. I figured I'd get most of my homework done in the study hall. That would leave my evenings at home to work on my real interest.

I'd had an idea for the last couple of years for a different type of operating system for computers. Most operating systems have to be so diverse and have to be able to run so many different types of programs that they are very slow.

That's okay for most computer users and applications, but for a computer operating in real time, it's a real drag. I've been working for some time on an operating system that has a basic core that handles things like disk operations and anything else that is needed for the machine to function as a computer. Then, there'll be modules that can be added on as needed.

My biggest problem has been getting the modules to work with the core and with each other. I've had more failures than successes so far, but I'm sure the concept is valid and so I keep plugging away at it.

By bedtime, I was starting to get a little frustrated, so I knew it was a good time to quit.

Mr. McClasky has a method of teaching a class that makes it very interesting. He requires a lot of class participation and he seems to be able to draw every student into the discussions without making them feel pressured.

It's inevitable in a small class that you get to know the other students. Physics was no exception. By the end of the period I knew that the mystery girl was Kathy Rienke and that she had transferred in from out of state. She was dressed just as dowdy as she had been yesterday.

When class ended, I stopped to ask Mr. McClasky a question. We talked for a minute, and then I told him I had to get to Calculus. When I got into the hallway, I saw something that made my blood run cold. Wilson and Silvers were badgering the new girl.

Kathy was backed up against a bank of lockers and Wilson and Silvers had her blocked off so that she couldn't escape. Silvers was saying, "Come on, nerd girl, show us your pussy."

I don't know where I got my courage from. Maybe it was just rage that had built up over the years. I walked over to them and said in my deepest, most menacing voice, "Leave her alone. Just back off and leave."

Wilson whirled around and looked at me. "Well, if it isn't the geek," he said. "Get the fuck out of here if you don't want to get hurt, geek."

I laid my books down on the floor and balled up my fists. I didn't say a thing, I just glared at him.

"You heard him, geek, get the fuck out of here," Silvers said as he took a step toward me.

"When I get through kicking the shit out of both of you, Silvers, I'm going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat. Then, I'm going to rip Wilson's dick off and shove it up his ass. It's your choice. Give it your best shot."

I don't know if it was my tone of voice, or the look in my eye, but something got through to Silvers. They could have killed me on the spot and I was well aware of that, but I wasn't going to let them know it.

They postured for a minute or two, then made a retreat throwing threats over their shoulders as they went. I looked over at Kathy and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes... Thank you."

"You're very welcome. I'm Ed Dobson."

"I know. You're in all of my classes. I'm Kathy Rienke." Her head was down and she was looking up at me through her eyelashes as she spoke.

"It's nice to meet you, Kathy. Can I walk you to Calculus?"

"That would be nice, but I think it's too late for us to go in now," she said.

I looked at the clock and she was right. "What a way to start the semester," I said. "We cut a class on the second day of school."

Kathy laughed and the entire hallway lighted up. My God, she's beautiful when she smiles. "There's a bench right outside that door," I said, pointing. "We could sit out there until English class."

Kathy hesitated for a minute, then nodded. She followed me outside and we sat on opposite ends of the bench.

"So, you transferred in from out of state?" I asked, just trying to make conversation.

"Yeah, California. My dad is in the army."

"I'll bet that makes it tough. Have you had to be in a lot of different schools?"

"Yeah, I'm usually never in a school for more than a year or two."

"Wow! I've been here all of my life. Sometimes I wish I had been able to go to another school though."

"Why is that?"

"Well, you heard those two goons call me nerd boy. That's been my name since the fifth grade when I got a double promotion."

Kathy was looking up more now as we talked. "I've heard the female equivalent of that a lot myself. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead," I said, dreading her question.

"You don't seem like a violent person, but from what you said to those two, I think you had them peeing their pants. Would you have really done to them what you said you were going to do?"

"Kathy, I'm not a violent person. I've never been in a fight in my life. I've been beat up quite a few times, but I've never fought back."

"So what made you say what you did?"

"I've been trying to figure that out myself. Last year, I was overweight and under muscled. I worked out a lot this summer and it paid off. Deep down, I'm still afraid of bullies like Silvers and Wilson, but I decided that this year I wasn't going to let them know that."

Kathy had a very serious expression as she asked, "Isn't that dangerous?"

"Maybe a little, but not as bad as you might think. I did a lot of reading on psychology during the summer. I found out that most bullies just intimidate the people they think they can get away with intimidating. If someone stands up to them, they usually back off."

"It's still dangerous and I really want you to know how much I appreciate what you did," she said.

"You're welcome," I said. "Now, we'd better get moving or we're going to miss English class too."

Kathy and I sat side by side in English class, front row, center. Whenever I'd glance over at her during the period, I'd catch her looking at me. Each time, she'd blush prettily.

When I was gathering up my things after class, I noticed she already had hers and she was waiting for me. Wow! That had never happened before.

As we started walking toward the door, she asked, "Would you like to eat lunch together, Ed?"

"Sure," I said.

We started toward the lunch room and I saw Skippy coming toward us. I waved him off without Kathy seeing me do it, then winked at him. He got the message really quickly and gave me a big grin.

After we had loaded up our trays, we found a table for two. There weren't many of them and they were usually hard to come by.

We talked for a while about our first assignment for English class. It was to be a news article about an event, either real or imagined. "Remember the five Ws," I told her.

"What are the five Ws?"

It's the five things an editor always wants in a news article. They stand for Who, What, When, Where, and Why. You should also add How."

"That's interesting. Are you into writing?"

"Not really. I'm more into computer programming. I'm working on a new operating system now."

"Ah," she grinned. "So you're a computer nerd."

"Yep."

"So am I. Why a new operating system?"

I explained my theory to her and then told her of the problems I was running into.

"I'd like to see what you're doing sometime. I might even have some ideas that would help you."

"That'd be great," I told her. "God knows I could use come help right now."

I was really feeling comfortable talking with Kathy, so I told her so. "Kathy, I've never been able to talk with girls, especially pretty girls. For some reason I feel very comfortable talking with you."

"Thank you, Ed. For some reason I feel very comfortable talking with you too. Maybe it is because you were my knight in shining armor."

"There's a soccer game tomorrow, after school. Would you be interested in going with me?"

Kathy hesitated for a few seconds then said, "I'm not much into sports, Ed. I guess it'd be okay, though."

"Actually, we could blow off the soccer and just get something to eat or something if you'd like."

"No, a soccer game might be fun. Maybe we could get something to eat afterwards, though."

I know I was walking on air when we went to our computer class.

The rest of the afternoon dragged by, but we finally made it through. When I got home, things went down hill even farther.

Evidently my brother had called, and my mother was in one of her John periods. John was all she could talk about for the rest of the evening. You'd think the sun rose and set in John's asshole.

Mom tended to be that way when it came to my brother and sister. She'd tell everyone who'd listen to her about the touchdown pass John had thrown in a game last year. She'd talk about him until everyone around her wanted to kill him off just so she'd stop talking about him.

She'd go on for weeks about the dress Kathleen had gotten for the fall dance and about how pretty she looked in it. She'd talk about Kathleen's new hair style until I wanted to barf.

Did she talk about me? No. Was I jealous? Probably. Dad never talked or bragged about any of the kids. Then again, dad never talked about much of anything. I doubt he'd said five hundred words to me in the last year.

As soon as I got out of my car the next morning, I knew there was going to be trouble. Wilson and Silvers were standing where they'd been a couple of days before. With them were Bill Simpson and Tony Gates, two more football thugs.

Before I even got to them, Simpson stepped out and blocked my path. "I hear you've been making threats, nerd boy. We don't like little shit heads that make threats against our team mates."

"Bill, I don't know what you've been told, but those two were terrorizing a girl. She was afraid they were going to rape her, so I stepped in." My heart was beating ninety miles an hour, but I was determined I wasn't going to let them know that.

"That's not the way we heard it, shit for brains," he sneered as Gates started moving around behind me. Wilson and Silvers started moving as well. "Now, you're going to pay for showing your ass."

I felt more than heard Gates coming at me from behind, so I swung my elbow back as hard as I could. I made good solid contact with something just before someone else grabbed me. After that, the fight became a blur.

I know I got in a couple of good licks, but for the most part, they used me for a punching bag. Then I was on the ground and some of them at least were kicking me. The last thing I remember thinking before I blacked out was that I hoped I had broken Gates' nose.

I awoke to the sound of someone crying. My head was being cradled in someone's lap and someone was smoothing the hair out of my eyes. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyes didn't want to cooperate. Finally I managed to get them open enough to see that it was Kathy holding me.

"Hi Kathy," I said, weakly. My upper lip was split and it really hurt to talk.

"We've got to get you to the hospital, Ed," she said, almost hysterically.

"I'll be okay," I said, not really believing it myself.

"No! Ed we have to get you to the hospital!"

"Can you drive?" I asked her.

"Yes."

I managed to get my keys out of my pocket and handed them to her. "It's the blue Ford over there. Can you help me get to it?"

Kathy helped me to my car and helped me get inside. It was a struggle. My arms and legs seemed to work okay, but my chest hurt something terrible.

"Who did this to you, Ed?" Kathy asked as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"It was Wilson and Silvers and two others," I told her. "I might have held my own against two of them, but the four of them used me for a punching bag and then used me for practicing field goals."

"I was afraid of that. It's all my fault, Ed. I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault at all, Kathy. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Oh, but it is my fault, Ed. If you hadn't been protecting me, none of this would have happened."

"Kathy, you are worth protecting," I told her softly.

I reached over and took her hand and gave it a squeeze just before we pulled into the hospital emergency entrance. Kathy stopped the car and ran into the hospital. She was back in a few seconds with two orderlies and a wheelchair.

The orderlies helped me get into the chair and one of them pushed me inside. Kathy walked beside me and held my hand the entire time. She followed me into the treatment room and stayed until the doctor ran her out. Before she left, I gave her my mother's phone number and asked her to call.

The doctor gave me a cursory exam then sent me off to x-ray. They took several pictures of my chest, then sent me back to the treatment room. Kathy must have been watching for me to come back because she sneaked back in almost as soon as they had me in the room.

"I called your mom. She's on her way down here," she told me, looking a little confused.

"Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate that."

"Can I ask you a personal question, Ed?"

"Kathy, I've been able to talk with you better than I've ever been able to talk with anyone in my life. You can ask me anything, anytime."

"Do you and your mother get along okay?"

"Good question. Why do you ask?"

"When I told her what had happened to you, she didn't seem all that concerned. I don't think she was even going to come down here until I told her that she would need to sign some forms to give the doctors permission to treat you. Then she sounded disgusted, but she did say she'd come."

"Okay. You probably hit it right on the head. Mom doesn't treat me badly; she just ignores me. She's crazy about my older brother and my younger sister. Me, she just tolerates. I know that sounds paranoid, but I believe it is accurate."

"Why would she be that way, Ed? You're very intelligent. I'd think she'd be proud of that."

"I heard her telling the minister one time that she had wanted two children, a boy and a girl. She told him that unfortunately she had ended up with two boys and a girl."

"That sucks."

"Okay, can I ask you a personal question?"

"I guess turn about is fair play," she smiled.

"You are a very pretty girl, Kathy. Why do you wear such ugly clothes?"

Kathy almost looked like I had slapped her. "That is a very personal question, Ed."

"I'm sorry, Kathy. Forget I asked." I felt bad that I had made her feel bad.

"No, Ed, I guess you deserve to know. I've never told anyone this except my parents, so please bear with me." Kathy let out a big sigh then continued. "Two years ago I was raped."

Kathy's head was down again as it had been the day I first saw her. She looked like I was going to blame her for being raped.

"Kathy, I am so sorry. You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. Just remember, it isn't your fault that you were raped."

"Daddy says it IS my fault, Ed. He said if I hadn't been wearing 'whore clothes' it wouldn't have happened."

"He's full of shit, Kath. I don't care if you had been naked, it isn't an excuse for rape. What did your mother say?"

"Mom is as bad as dad. She said I had been tempting boys for years and that I had gotten what I deserved."

"That's not right, Kath, and you know it. You could be naked with a guy and making out furiously. If at the last instant you decide you're not ready and say stop, he has to stop. If he doesn't, it's rape."

"I know, Ed. It's just that they've made me feel so bad about it."

Before I could say anything else, mom came storming in. "What's going on here?" she asked shortly.

"Four guys beat me up, Mom. Kathy brought me in to the hospital."

"I came in and signed the papers for you to be treated. I'm expecting a phone call from John, so I have to go. I hope you have a way home," she said, then was out of the room before I could even answer.

Kathy just stood there looking at the door with her mouth hanging open. I couldn't help but smile at her expression. When she finally looked back around at me, I said, "It happens all the time. That's just the way she is. If she had shown any concern I'd have been surprised."

"But... You're her son and she doesn't even seem to care that you were beaten up."

"You were raped and your parents don't seem to care."

We just looked at each other until the doctor came in.

"Well, son, it could have been a lot worse," he said. "We don't see any signs of internal injuries. You have three cracked ribs, a couple of black eyes, a few loose teeth, and a split lip. You are going to be sore for a while, but there's nothing serious to worry about. We'll tape up your ribs and I'll give you a prescription for some antibiotics and some pain medication, then you can go home."

"Thank you, doctor. Did you tell my mother about my injuries while she was here?"

"I haven't talked with her yet. I'm going to do that right now."

"She's already gone, doctor. I'll pass the information along when I get home."

The doctor looked incredulous. "I'm sorry, Son," he said and patted my hand before he left the room.

A different orderly wheeled me back out to the car when they had me all taped up. Kathy was very solicitous about my comfort and I really appreciated it. She asked for directions to my house and I asked her if she'd mind driving us to the park first. She agreed, so we headed in that direction.

"Kathy, I need to talk some things out with someone. I hope you don't mind, but I don't have anyone else to talk to."

"I don't mind at all, Ed. I can see you can't go to your mother about anything."

"Dad is almost as bad. All mom can talk about are John and Kathleen. Dad doesn't say anything to me. In fact, dad doesn't say anything to mom or Kathleen either. Sometimes I wonder if he talks at work."

"I'm sorry, Ed. What did you want to talk about?" she asked as she pulled into a parking space in the park.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now. I just wanted to get someone's opinion before I did anything. I'm thinking about filing for manumission and moving out on my own."

"What's manumission, Ed?"

"That's where a minor child can file with the courts and be declared an adult. Then, the child can move out on their own and be in complete control of his or her life."

"Are you thinking about moving out of your home?"

"Yes. I qualify for the work/study program at school. The software company I worked for last summer has already told me they'll hire me for as many hours as I care to put in if I go into work/study, so I could make enough money to afford to do it."

"That's a big step, Ed, but... in your case it might be the best way to go. Have you talked to an attorney about any of this?"

"Yeah, I talked to a young attorney at Legal Aid. He says they can do it. He said I'd need a statement from the school saying I qualified for work/study. I'd also need a statement from the software company saying they planned to hire me if I went into work/study. I'd have to make a sworn statement about my home life and the lack of support from my parents. He said I'd have to go into court, but that it wouldn't be a problem."

"It sounds like you've thought it out. Maybe you should talk to your parents about it first. It might wake them up as to how they've been treating you."

"Yeah, I've been trying to work up the courage to talk to them. I'll have to talk to them separately though. I never see them together any more."

"Well, right now I think I'd better get you home and in bed. I can see from looking at your face that you're in pain."

I didn't argue with her. I was in pain. Besides that, I felt like Kathy and I were developing a bond between us and I didn't want to do or say anything that would jeopardize that.

Kathy drove me home, then helped me up to my room. We walked within fifteen feet of mom, but she didn't even act like she knew we were there.

Kathy just stood there looking at me. When I didn't do anything, she said, "Strip."

Oh, well, this should be interesting. I stripped down to my boxers while Kathy turned down the bed. I got in and she pulled the covers up around me, then sat on the edge of the bed. "How far is it to school from here?" she asked.

"It's about ten blocks. Why don't you take my car and you can pick me up in the morning? I'm not sure if I'll feel like driving then anyway."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you, Kathy for everything you did for me today. Maybe I can make it up to you sometime."

"I really didn't..."

Mom came slamming into the room without bothering to knock. "What the hell's going on in here?" she stormed. "Who is this slut and why is she in your room?"

"This is no slut, Mom. This is Kathy. She helped me today when you wouldn't. You speak nicely to her or I'll make sure you regret it." I had never spoken harshly to my mother and she looked like I'd slapped her.

"Just what do you think you're going to do to make me regret it?" she sneered.

"I'm seriously considering reporting you to Child Protective Services for abusing me. The doctors and nurses are well aware that you just signed those papers today and then abandoned me."

"But... I was waiting on a call from John."

"Okay, Mom. I think it's time I told you a few things. You might want to take a seat. This may take a while."

"I want this woman out of here first." She said.

I took Kathy's hand and held it. "She stays, Mom. First off, I want to get this out in the open. I know you didn't want me when I was born. There's no need for argument here. I heard you telling the minister about it several years ago. Secondly, your lack of interest in me or my wellbeing is a form of abuse."

Mom didn't say anything, she just sat there and looked at me. Kathy squeezed my hand.

"I'm tired of the neglect, Mom, so I've talked to an attorney about manumission."

She asked what manumission was and I explained it to her. "I'm going to talk to him again tomorrow and get the paperwork started. That way you never have to be bothered with me again."

Mom looked thoughtful for a minute then said, "Maybe that would be best. I'll talk to your father about it, but I'm sure he'll be willing to sign anything we need to sign, as I will."

She got up and walked out of the room without looking back.

I know I had tears running out of my eyes when she walked out. I knew I was going to do it, but I thought she'd have at least tried to talk me out of it.

Kathy put her arms around me and I started sobbing. She held me until I subsided, then she said, "I just came to a conclusion, Ed. Your parents don't want you, so fuck 'em. My parents don't like me, so fuck 'em."

I looked into her eyes and I could see how serious she was so I said, "Fuck 'em!"

Kathy kissed me on the end of my nose then left to get back to school.

I slept a little while, probably about an hour, then called the Legal Aid attorney. He said he'd get the paperwork started, but that I should get the statement from the school and from my employer.

After I hung up, I called Marv Barnette at the software company and told him what I needed. He told me he'd take care of it and he'd have it notarized. He said the paper would be on its way to me by tomorrow.

Mom didn't call me to dinner and I was hurting enough I wouldn't have wanted to get up anyway. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself. I thought someone should have offered to bring me something.

It was about 8:00 PM when dad came in. "I hear you got in a fight," he said.

"No, Dad. I was beaten up by four guys. When they got me to the hospital, they thought I had internal injuries, but luckily I didn't. I do have three broken ribs though and various and sundry other injuries. Mom didn't even bother to talk to the doctor when she came to the hospital to sign the papers."